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Thread: Struggling with Procrastination to an Extreme

  1. #1

    Default Struggling with Procrastination to an Extreme

    Coming on here, probably doesn't help me, as I told myself i'm going to finish three resumes, but I thought i'd get some direly needed input from a group of people I've always respected an opinion from.

    I can't seem to work towards the dreams that I wish to follow. I've finished school, I got my Bachelors, I have two ideas for book writing. But none of it is coming together.

    I don't know how to describe what it is that I'm dealing with other than I feel extremely depressed, and that whenever I look towards either spending more time sending out resumes, or even spending some time to get things together for writing my book. I'd rather run away from it, and do something else. It's to the point where i'm beating myself up daily when not following my to-do list or even just not getting weekly goals done. It just sometimes makes me want to sleep in until 2 or 3 in the afternoon... I don't want to be a failure.. I don't want to waste my life away. But it feels like i'm just doing just that..

    Maybe its crazy i'm reaching out to a community of fellow pillow butts, but honestly I do think that if there's one group that understands the frustration of driving one's self nuts over the silly things they do, it would be you all. What does one do when they feel like they can't ever do anything?

  2. #2
    MarchinBunny

    Default

    I created a thread like this recently but I referred to it as lack of motivation rather than procrastination. It really is a hard cookie to crack. I am definitely not the best to be giving advice on this since I have the same exact problem, however I do know certain things help.

    Often, when I set out to do something, I end up playing games, reading manga, or watching anime all day never getting to it. It's weird to, because it can be something I want to do, but when I actually think about doing it, for some reason at that moment I don't want to or feel like doing something else.

    So something I have found that might help you is that ... I am more likely to do something if I feel like it's something I have to do and have no choice over. To-do lists never work for me either, I could never follow them even a little. So what I suggest is whatever it is you want to do, try and figure out a way to make it so you have to do it. A good way to do this is to have someone you know take away the things that would normally keep you occupied causing you to procrastinate, and you can only get them back when you are done doing whatever it is you chose to do. Although taking them away isn't necessary if you have someone watching you instead lol.

    You need someone who will not allow you to just say something like "Naa don't feel like it today."

    See when I went to school, I was top of the class kind of student, and I usually had perfect attendance. I would even go as far and say I was typically the teachers pet. However, as I got older I became less afraid of getting into trouble. Thus I began never doing my homework. I didn't like school, it felt lonely. So much so, that when I actually made a friend .. I spent more time socializing than actually doing work. Eventually I found out how to skip school. My Sister showed me it wasn't a hard thing to do. So I began skipping more and more. To the point I actually skipped half an entire school year lol.

    Point is, as soon as I learned I had a choice in these things, to do or not to do my homework. To go to school or not to go to school ... I began not doing them. I always did them before because I felt I had no choice.

    I went to a trade school called Job Corps, graduated top of my class in telecommunications, even became a fiber optic certified technician. However, that was because I was stuck on campus. It is a strict school They force students to go to classes and such and there is no way off campus. There also isn't much to do there. So I had no choice, and thus I did well.

    I always imagined that if I didn't have such sever depression, I would probably be going to some prestigious college, maybe actually had become a scientist or working on tomorrows technology.

    Something I do suggest you do, if you really feel this is a major problem is to go talk to your doctor and get professional help. They may give you medication for the depression which could help. I don't know, never have been able to do that for myself.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by SariaSmiles View Post
    What does one do when they feel like they can't ever do anything?
    well, i'm agreeing with Brabbit on it being a lack of motivation, but you're also right in it being a touch of the blues.
    i'm currently feeling much the same, though for different reasons, and i'm quite happy to make my excuses (the weather, the pain, the cost, etc).
    for me, getting out of the rut usually involves doing something which is physically productive and sociable (i'm not one for sitting in a pub, drinking and talking about nothing).

    after having your head down studying for so long, perhaps a little part-time job will stimulate your senses and sensibilities? even if it's just a dead-end, minimum-wage gig; it's more about getting out and doing something and meeting others.

    anyway, i'm sat here waiting for some nuts, and for good weather, so that i can mend the fence

  4. #4

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    I responded at the time to brabbit and I'll offer the same, somewhat unusual advice here. Motivation to be better is noble and can make a person feel good, but does not work for many of us. Motivation to one up people and show everyone who ever doubted you what you can do, on the other hand, does tend to be quite strong. So one way to motivate yourself is to act out of spite, to tell yourself that you're going to beat everyone who ever slighted you or said you couldn't do something.

    I have a few other thoughts too though. First, I've been there with the resume thing, and not for a short while either. It's incredibly depressing and makes all of life seem horrible. The important thing is to do something every day. Anything. Even just one resume. One email to someone you'd like to talk to about jobs. You may set goals and not meet them, but don't let the thought of doing so much work paralyze you into doing nothing. Even if you start and then stop again 15 minutes later after just that one action.

    The other big thing is to create routine. I don't do this and admittedly suck at practicing what I preach here, but it can still help as opposed to just mentally ruining yourself. Turn the work you need to do into part of the daily routine. Put it on a calendar or an alarm: get up, breakfast, take a walk, do resumes and write a little, rest of day. Something like that. Pick whatever time you have energy.

    Third thing: take care of your health. Eat and drink enough (I mean really, you wear diapers, you have zero excuse not to hydrate appropriately, ). Get enough sleep. Get some exercise, especially when you're feeling low, just take a walk around the block. You'll find yourself more motivated when you're healthy and you'll do better on the work that you do.

    Lastly, consider caffeine, ideally coffee or tea, not the 5 hour energy stuff. Drinking coffee and tea regularly are actually healthy for you (really, they're associated with good health outcomes) and you will actually find that caffeine makes you a bit more focused and motivated than when you don't have it. Assuming you're not doing this already.

  5. #5

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    I pretty much have the exact same problem. I'm also a writer who's very bad with procrastinating and feelings of depression only intensify having me struggle to get pretty much everything you listed done.

    Everyone else has already given good advice on what to do, and I pretty much have to echo what everyone else has said. Keep track of how you're feeling, have a To-Do List so you know what you need to accomplish for the day (sounds like you're already doing this), identify what's causing you to not do these goals, and just keep at it and don't give up. I will admit that this is far easier said than done as I'm pretty bad at this myself. Eventually, I just have to slap myself and force myself to do it, even if I have no desire to do so. I know it's not easy, but hopefully, you can get this done.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by SariaSmiles View Post
    I don't know how to describe what it is that I'm dealing with other than I feel extremely depressed, and that whenever I look towards either spending more time sending out resumes, or even spending some time to get things together for writing my book. I'd rather run away from it, and do something else. It's to the point where i'm beating myself up daily when not following my to-do list or even just not getting weekly goals done. It just sometimes makes me want to sleep in until 2 or 3 in the afternoon... I don't want to be a failure.. I don't want to waste my life away. But it feels like i'm just doing just that..

    Maybe its crazy i'm reaching out to a community of fellow pillow butts, but honestly I do think that if there's one group that understands the frustration of driving one's self nuts over the silly things they do, it would be you all. What does one do when they feel like they can't ever do anything?
    Ahhh... I know that feeling. It's hard to read the above and not feel like it's something I wrote myself.

    I put it down to mild depression for ages and didn't really do anything about it. But it had always been there and (after a decade or two) got so bad I literally thought I was going mad. I had some psychotherapy and realised that I'd always been incredibly anxious... I just didn't really recognise it.

    Anyway, if I was talking to my younger self, I'd say that it helps to get a bit of perspective on how important stuff is to do right now. Being a bit of a perfectionist, I'd feel like a failure if I didn't completely commit myself to doing a million things at once. But sometimes the one thing you need is "breathing space" (even if you think you've been doing nothing, your brain has been overworked worrying about not doing anything!).

    I used to lay in bed at night, unable to sleep as my mind was racing. But, no matter how important my thoughts might seem, everything could wait until morning and all I had to do was sleep. I suppose I had to consciously give myself permission to switch off.

    And I wish I'd had some counselling a lot sooner. It probably would have helped me make sense of feeling so weird and given me a chance to sort my life out.

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