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Thread: Five Months In And Confused

  1. #1

    Default Five Months In And Confused

    Hello everyone~

    Magnolias here. Giantguy99 and I haven't been able to come onto the forum in quite some time because we have been extremely busy. It has (for the most part) been a good busy. But the elephant in the room still remains. We don't really address his AB/DL interests. I am asking for some help.

    There are many questions I have about Adult Babies, and Diaper Lovers and Sissies. I love Giantguy99 very much, and I want him to be happy. But when he goes to bed with a binkie I feel a detachment.

    When I hear the words "Adult Baby" I think of someone who wants to be a child (or baby). They don't want to be associated with adult things (like sexuality). Children are young and pure and devoid of many of the weaknesses that us adults have. But what I have learned is for most Adult Babies, it is a sexual fetish.

    I was abused as a child sexually. For years I dealt with daily neglect and torment. I cannot express my hatred for child molesters and sexual offenders. I believe that sexualizing children is the definition of evil. It ruins lives, and it did mine in certain ways. Those are years I will never have back. They have tainted all of my relationships, including my upcoming marriage with Giantguy99. I can very rarely ever feel 100% comfortable with sex, and I don't think that will ever change.

    As is pretty obvious, I try not to think about it too hard. Giantguy99 insists that his interests in AB/DL is purely non sexual. He is more interested in regressing for therapeutic reasons. With this, I am fine. But anytime I let my mind wander into the "what ifs" and I think to myself what if he's gaining sexual pleasure from this, I grow cold and distant. It is hard to handle, as I love him very much. Just like everyone on this site, he is much more than just an AB/DL. He is great in many ways, and I try to focus on those.

    ***I should probably post a disclaimer, I do not have the false belief that AB/DLs are pedophiles. I am completely aware of the difference, if I wasn't I wouldn't be on this site asking for help.***

    He IS an AB/DL though, and I want to come to peace with it (at the very least). Please, does anyone have any advice? Anything would help. Thank you.

  2. #2

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    Hi,

    i would suggest grabbing a copy of the book "A baby in my bed" by rolalie bent, I have it and it is really good for explaining the best ways to cope with an adult baby as a partner, With everything from love making, to the parent/child relationship..

    I am very pleased i bougth the book, as it has some great suggestions, and topics, that pertain to my current circumstances..

    its well worth a read.

    Cheer

    Babylea

  3. #3

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    It isn't always a sexual fetish. For some it's just another way of venting/unwinding. I could give advice, but I fear my lack of experience may lead to advice that is incorrect. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, and I bid you good day and much luck.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by babylea View Post
    Hi,

    i would suggest grabbing a copy of the book "A baby in my bed" by rolalie bent, I have it and it is really good for explaining the best ways to cope with an adult baby as a partner, With everything from love making, to the parent/child relationship..

    I am very pleased i bougth the book, as it has some great suggestions, and topics, that pertain to my current circumstances..

    its well worth a read.

    Cheer

    Babylea
    Thanks for the advice but we have already bought that book. I do appreciate (and respect) the fact that you care though
    Last edited by giantguy99; 23-Jan-2016 at 16:29.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Magnolias View Post
    Hello everyone~

    Magnolias here.
    Welcome. Right off the bat, I have to say your name gives a favorable impression because of my favorite Dead song (possibly favorite song period) https://www.youtube.com/watchv=t2RJ3l_0_PA

    http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/grate...rmagnolia.html




    When I hear the words "Adult Baby" I think of someone who wants to be a child (or baby). They don't want to be associated with adult things (like sexuality). Children are young and pure and devoid of many of the weaknesses that us adults have. But what I have learned is for most Adult Babies, it is a sexual fetish.
    The thing about fetishes is that they appeal to the same parts of the brain as other forms of sexual behavior. Even if its not overtly sexual, it is kinda related.

    It doesn't necessarily mean we can't or don't enjoy the more usual sorts also. Its possible to like IPA's AND stouts, cheeseburgers AND broccoli. I can't speak for Giantguy, but if I have a choice between a diaper session and regular sex, diapers are generally going to lose. Some people manage to work the two in together, although I'm not one of those.



    I was abused as a child sexually. For years I dealt with daily neglect and torment. I cannot express my hatred for child molesters and sexual offenders. I believe that sexualizing children is the definition of evil. It ruins lives, and it did mine in certain ways. Those are years I will never have back. They have tainted all of my relationships, including my upcoming marriage with Giantguy99. I can very rarely ever feel 100% comfortable with sex, and I don't think that will ever change.
    Unfortunate. Hope Giantguy is able to change that to some degree.



    As is pretty obvious, I try not to think about it too hard. Giantguy99 insists that his interests in AB/DL is purely non sexual. He is more interested in regressing for therapeutic reasons. With this, I am fine. But anytime I let my mind wander into the "what ifs" and I think to myself what if he's gaining sexual pleasure from this, I grow cold and distant. It is hard to handle, as I love him very much. Just like everyone on this site, he is much more than just an AB/DL. He is great in many ways, and I try to focus on those.

    ***I should probably post a disclaimer, I do not have the false belief that AB/DLs are pedophiles. I am completely aware of the difference, if I wasn't I wouldn't be on this site asking for help.***

    He IS an AB/DL though, and I want to come to peace with it (at the very least). Please, does anyone have any advice? Anything would help. Thank you.
    Its great that you're trying to be rational about your feelings on the subject.

    Even though you know the difference objectively, your childhood experiences no doubt leave you with a nagging worry that it will be weird if/when you have kids....

    Most people, your molester aside, have built in inhibitions about things like that. Odds are overwhelming that giantguy's inhibitions along those lines are intact regardless of his abdl inclinations.

    I can't speak for what's in giantguy's head, of course, but I can reassure you from my experience as a parent and grandparent that thoughts of my diapers are someplace far removed in my head when I play with the grandkids, just as what I do and feel with Mrs. Maxx in the bedroom doesn't run through my head when I'm playing on the floor with them. It was the same way when my kids were little (Junior and Maxxette both are older than you. Oldest grandson is in college.... youngest granddaughter is 2).

  6. #6

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    I know it's not easy for people that don't experience a certain thing to understand that thing.


    So let me use a metaphor:

    Let's say you enjoy cooking a lot. It's relaxing, creative, you're transforming several foods into a delicious dish probably to be shared with others as well.

    At some point you start to notice that is a bit more than just that, that sometimes you feel a bit aroused while cooking. The whole process of cooking, the touching of the vegetables, potatoes and other groceries, cutting and pouring them into a bowl, all those things kind get your heart pumping a little bit faster and increase your body temperature and respiration. You've just realized that cooking can also be a very sensual experience all by itself!

    Eventually you might even want to spice it up, no pun intended, by starting to touch and pleasure yourself right while you're cooking, feeling the heat from the stove and smelling the fragrance of food in the air (I feel the beginning of an erotic novel right here ).

    You see, the cooking process or the food itself has not become tainted. You're not violating the tomatoes or the tuna fish. You're just cooking, and that experience by itself might trigger some sexual arousal. This is what happens with me, I started having a desire to regress to a toddler pretty much since I stopped being one, eventually with puberty I started feeling aroused as well by regression or the thought of it.

    And (this is very important) it has nothing to do with other people, adult or not. I can't stress this enough. It has to do with you, experiencing something, that might sexually arouse you. To use another metaphor, let's say that whenever you cut your nails or when you put on a clown's costume you feel aroused, you're not thinking of clowns at all! You're thinking: "I'm a clown! I have red nose! Aaand, I'm ridding a unicycle!!!". That's it. Me, feeling like a little child still in diapers also sometimes trigger arousal feelings. Most of the times that I do I don't do anything though. It's all just feelings that arise and go. They have become part of the experience not the experience itself.


    I want to finish by saying that I can't begin to understand what you went through as an abused child. Abusing someone, especially children still forming their personalities and understanding of the world, whether physically or mentally is terrible and leaves deep scars. So I understand your confusion and struggle with this.

    I just hope I have shed some light on what really means to get sexual pleasure by being an adult baby, or that I could help you coming to terms with this and understanding it with my own experience. Much love to you Magnolias and Giantguy99, every human being shares this ride to figure ourselves out.
    Last edited by Zendot; 23-Jan-2016 at 17:09. Reason: Just adding more thoughts

  7. #7

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    Thank you babylea, Haziim, Maxx, and Zendot. I really appreciate your well wishes and advice.

    babylea: Thank you for the advice about the book. I do have it on Kindle already and have read some of it. The problem I have had with it is that some of the information doesn't seem to apply to Giantguy99, or he disagrees with it. Some of it is triggering for me, some of it I don't agree with. I want to be a supportive partner for Giantguy99, I'd even like to be a caretaker, but trying to understand something so foreign has me frustratedly confused. I wish I could catch onto the concept easier, but I suppose it'll just take a little time.

    Haziim: We are both in the same boat as far as feeling inexperienced. Your well wishes are appreciated.

    Maxx: Just for clarification I am not worried about Giantguy99 in relation to our kids. I couldn't possibly be with him if I had any doubt in my mind. He is a kind, gentle guy who loves kids and would never hurt them. But yes, hearing that for you your interests in AB/DL is separate from your beliefs about children is very reassuring. And, once again, I have to thank you for your well wishes.

    zendot: Thank you for clarifying that it has nothing to do with other people. That gives me strange comfort. I am beginning to understand that AB/DL perhaps is more of an exploration outside of reality, not simply a quest for the most accurate recreation of the child-like experience. Maybe I'm misinterpreting that, but that's kind of how my mind is wrapping around it.

    Giantguy99, I love you very much. I am sure we'll figure this out. If anyone else has advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.

  8. #8

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    For some of us it's the time we were happy.
    The only thing that is the same is diapers .
    We are deferent in like's dislike's.
    For some we relate through our little for some it's a protective shell.
    It's our happy place.
    No one book will explain how we are or what we are.
    We may have same trates but not all the same no set rules .
    The thing is we change and morph over time or can .
    For some they enjoy therematernal instincts and an AB bring's this out in a partner or some.

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