Magnolias here. Giantguy99 and I haven't been able to come onto the forum in quite some time because we have been extremely busy. It has (for the most part) been a good busy. But the elephant in the room still remains. We don't really address his AB/DL interests. I am asking for some help.
There are many questions I have about Adult Babies, and Diaper Lovers and Sissies. I love Giantguy99 very much, and I want him to be happy. But when he goes to bed with a binkie I feel a detachment.
When I hear the words "Adult Baby" I think of someone who wants to be a child (or baby). They don't want to be associated with adult things (like sexuality). Children are young and pure and devoid of many of the weaknesses that us adults have. But what I have learned is for most Adult Babies, it is a sexual fetish.
I was abused as a child sexually. For years I dealt with daily neglect and torment. I cannot express my hatred for child molesters and sexual offenders. I believe that sexualizing children is the definition of evil. It ruins lives, and it did mine in certain ways. Those are years I will never have back. They have tainted all of my relationships, including my upcoming marriage with Giantguy99. I can very rarely ever feel 100% comfortable with sex, and I don't think that will ever change.
As is pretty obvious, I try not to think about it too hard. Giantguy99 insists that his interests in AB/DL is purely non sexual. He is more interested in regressing for therapeutic reasons. With this, I am fine. But anytime I let my mind wander into the "what ifs" and I think to myself what if he's gaining sexual pleasure from this, I grow cold and distant. It is hard to handle, as I love him very much. Just like everyone on this site, he is much more than just an AB/DL. He is great in many ways, and I try to focus on those.
***I should probably post a disclaimer, I do not have the false belief that AB/DLs are pedophiles. I am completely aware of the difference, if I wasn't I wouldn't be on this site asking for help.***
He IS an AB/DL though, and I want to come to peace with it (at the very least). Please, does anyone have any advice? Anything would help. Thank you.