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Thread: Why is understanding my sexuality so confusing?

  1. #1

    Default Why is understanding my sexuality so confusing?

    I know this might be a weird title for a post, but I'll explain what I mean.

    At first I thought I was asexual as I never had sexual attraction to people.

    Than I realized I was gay.

    Than I realized I was pan-sexual, but I thought I was gay for some time, still somewhat do.

    I've noticed I'm demisexual, as I'm only sexually attracted to people I am in a emotional bond with, however I'm sexually attracted to men and trans females.

    When it comes to females, I have to either know the person very well, be in a relationship etc, however I'm into touching and stuff like that.

    That being said, why is understanding my own sexuality so weird, sometimes I'm asexual other times I'm pan sexual. I'm romantically attracted to trans females and females, always have been for some reason.

    It has taken me a long time to realize this, a very long time It's been very confusing for me, anyone else have similar experiences?

    Sorry about identifying as gay. I've just found this very confusing.

    This all started when I started cross dressing, I feel like discovering my sexuality has caused me to be sexual, I know this might be weird, but its so confusing O.o.

    That being said, have any of you guys and girls here have trouble understanding your own sexuality?

    Thanks for the support guys and girls

  2. #2

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    I had a similar problem very recently. In the end, I decided to not care about the labels. What matters is that your happy with who you are with.

    Hope that helps

  3. #3

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    I think what makes it doubly difficult is that for most people, it is as plain as the nose on their face. This leads to a lack of comprehension as to why it can be confusing. I'd agree that jumping on limiting labels early isn't the way to go. Just accept the ambiguity and know that a pattern will likely emerge over time if you're looking.

  4. #4

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    I feel many people go through many different labels about their sexuality. I know I went from straight, to juggling all sorts of labels, "Bi-Curious", "Heteroflexible", "Sexually Fluid", "Questioning", "Straightish", etc. Eventually after a couple years of juggling those labels, I eventually stuck with Bisexual as that label is the closest match to my sexuality, though it still feels weird to think of myself as "LGBT" since I don't feel like I fit in there. At the end of the day, labels are just words to describe how you feel about your sexuality. They are not permanent and your sexuality is not set in stone. There's no need to feel sorry about identifying as gay, even if you've moved onto another label.

  5. #5

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    For me, being the victim of sexual assault by both a male and female, trusting either gender became a real challenge for quite some time. Eventually however, my group of friends at college helped me regain my trust in people. Had feelings with a couple different people and concluded I was bi. I just wish my parents weren't so traditional now. You can't have long hair! You can't wear girly clothes! You can't do this or that or blah blah blah. I'm just here thinking "you said to be myself, this is myself. Changes come from the inside out."

  6. #6

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    Sorry about identifying as gay. I've just found this very confusing. -Drunk Bunny
    Drunkbunny, don't ever apologize for your sexuality. Don't apologize for your identity either. We are all special snowflakes and contrary to popular belief, no one fits perfectly into any one "box". Everyone has a little something different about them. Everyone is attracted to something different. And really, it doesn't matter who you are attracted to (romantically or sexually) as long as you are happy. If I had to label my sexuality I would call myself a "gender-fluid, romantic pansexual demisexual." What the heck does that mean? It means that I don't subscribe to the gender stereotypes, I enjoy love and romance, and I can be sexually attracted to anyone, but only with time and a deep connection. But really, if someone asks me what my identity is, I simply say "I am a Magnolias (of course, Magnolias isn't my real name, but just imagine me using my real name in place of that).

    You are still quite young, and with time things will become clearer. You might find a special someone who steals your heart, and then the rest doesn't matter (I guess that's the monogamy in me talking). In any event, I support you for whoever you are! No one can tell you who you are supposed to be, that's the fun of it. I hope some of this helps, and wish you luck in your journey.

  7. #7

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    I've often felt the same as Trevor, that all around me were all my male friends who were so very heterosexual, that there never was any doubt as to what they wanted. It made me feel or the more frustrated. In high school, I was in a heated relationship with a girl. We both went to different colleges and it was only a month when I got the "dear John" telephone call, that she had met someone else.

    At the same time, or even earlier, I was being attracted to boys my age, so once she lowered the boom, I became interested in a guy who was very interested in me. We had a relationship for most of the four years of college. After graduation, he went into the Army (drafted) and I moved to take a job. I met the woman who would become my wife and we started our family.

    For most people, they simply are wired to be one way, but for some of us, it's not so easy. After all these years, I just think of myself as complex. I know I'm bi and I know I'm very different from most people, and that's okay. Instead of fighting it, explore and discover who and what makes you happy, and be aware that your feelings may change as you get older and mature. Remember that the brain's frontal lobe changes and matures until the average age of twenty five (my number key isn't working nor is the hyphen).

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Magnolias View Post
    Drunkbunny, don't ever apologize for your sexuality. Don't apologize for your identity either. We are all special snowflakes and contrary to popular belief, no one fits perfectly into any one "box". Everyone has a little something different about them. Everyone is attracted to something different. And really, it doesn't matter who you are attracted to (romantically or sexually) as long as you are happy. If I had to label my sexuality I would call myself a "gender-fluid, romantic pansexual demisexual." What the heck does that mean? It means that I don't subscribe to the gender stereotypes, I enjoy love and romance, and I can be sexually attracted to anyone, but only with time and a deep connection. But really, if someone asks me what my identity is, I simply say "I am a Magnolias (of course, Magnolias isn't my real name, but just imagine me using my real name in place of that).

    You are still quite young, and with time things will become clearer. You might find a special someone who steals your heart, and then the rest doesn't matter (I guess that's the monogamy in me talking). In any event, I support you for whoever you are! No one can tell you who you are supposed to be, that's the fun of it. I hope some of this helps, and wish you luck in your journey.
    Yeah, I'll wait it out, and see what happens than when I fully understand it choose a label.

  9. #9

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    Hehe. In my case I'm also have troubles when trying to understand my sexuality

    When was a teen I could describe myself as asexual, but... diapers was sexual for me. But I wasn't interested in any people sexually and romantically.

    When attent high school I was just trying to meet girls. Romatically it was cool, but still I could live without it. Sexually still nothing. Ofc diapers and discovered abdl stuff was enjoy me (nonsexual and sexual if need it)

    After high school I had many crushes on girls and boys but aesthetically. One boy had fallen in love on me. I liked when he pat my head, but when trying to kiss and doing sexual stuff I was confused. At the same time I discovered that ddlg (daddy's dom/little girl - in my case little boy, so ddlb) stuff suits me better than abdl. Majority of people I think I could be with, are boys, but there are some very nice girls too! Anyway it's all romatically. So... if my sexual arousal is targeted to situations (like being treated like little boy) and items (plushies and diapees) but not any people I guess I'm asexual. Also I am not always sexually atracted to this.

    Now I can play sexually, but don't like sex. I can, but I don't want it :P I just trying not to worry about labels

  10. #10

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    I didn't know about my sexuality until I was in my early twenties. I used to worry I was a lesbian because I didn't want to face hatred and be judged if I am lesbian so I forced myself to like guys and I wanted to have kids and I didn't think that would be possible if I was with another woman so I needed a man so we could have sex to have a baby. I decided then I wanted to be straight for this reason. Then I thought I was bisexual because I liked both men and women and then I read that lot of females think other females are cute and find themselves attracted to them and that is normal, it doesn't make them lesbian. Then I felt confused all over and wondered what is the difference then. My husband told me I was bi curious because I hadn't had sex with another woman. Then he told me how women have sex and I was grossed out by it and it was something I will never do so he told me I am straight then because that is how women have sex with each other and since I find that sick, I am straight. But I find that sick when men and women do that together so don't even throw that "homophobic" term around or else I am a heterophobic too by your logic.

    Sometimes I think it's up for people to decide on their own sexuality. They can pick whichever. I decided to identify as straight because I am married to my husband and wouldn't have sex with another woman. I only like penis in vagina. That is the only sex I like and something I can do and not feel sick with. I might like guys more because I feel more attracted to them when it comes to AB/DL because I prefer a daddy. The mommy thing doesn't feel as appealing as it does as having a daddy.

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