SPANKING: AN ADULT PERSPECTIVE
Table Of Contents
I. Purpose of this article
II. Definition of spanking
III. Childhood experiences of spanking (or lack thereof)
IV. Adult experiences of spanking
V. Reasons and methodologies for the utilization of spanking
VI. Final conclusions and commentaries
Purpose Of This Article
The purpose of this article is ostensibly to provide a scholarly discussion and approach to the subject of spanking. This article is expressly not written nor designed to debate the pros vs. cons of spanking, whether it be applied to juveniles, or adults for that matter.
Spanking, in its various forms, has existed for several hundred years, and debates over its use have raged on for as long of a time. Therefore, I considers it pointless and futile to enter into this debate. For the purposes of this article, then, please assume that I am in favor of spanking, given the parameters, methodologies, and reasoning set forth in the latter parts of this article.
Definition Of Spanking
“spank·ing - noun: spanking; plural noun: spankings. An act of slapping, especially on the buttocks as a punishment for children. Usage: ‘You deserve a good spanking!’” (as quoted and paraphrased by Google).
I wish to note here that, while this should be eminently obvious to the reader, spanking may also be applied to adults as well as to children, whether that be for recreational use, sheer amusement (such as so-called “birthday spankings”), or for more serious purposes such as in a BD/SM or AB/DL relationship.
Childhood Experiences Of Spanking
I was raised in an adoptive family with an extremely strict adopted mother who ruled it with an “iron hand,” so to speak. I have only one singular, very early and indistinct childhood memory of being on the receiving end of a so-called “traditional spanking,” which, in that case was administered by my adopted father, over his knee, on the seat of my pants.
Other than that, I was actually never spanked in the strictest and truest sense of the word, as defined above. Instead, my adopted mother saw fit to punish and discipline me by slapping my arm with a small leather paddle. While in elementary school, I also witnessed a fellow classmate of mine receive a very harsh bare-bottom spanking from a nun with a large ruler.
It is my concerted opinion that these early childhood experiences incubated and fomented in me an inveterate interest in spanking, as well as a desire to be spanked. I have several fond childhood memories of watching cartoons on TV in which the characters were spanked, such as in “Tom & Jerry,” “Mighty Mouse,” and certain Tex Avery cartoons, to name only a few. These interests and desires concerning spanking persist even today with me as an adult.
Adult Experiences Of Spanking
My first adult experience of spanking was back in the middle of December, 1993. I was 25 years old at that time. I had encountered a gay man in a bar who, I quickly found out, was a “Daddy Dom,” and enjoyed spanking other gay men, particularly those who identified as “Subs.”
We spent the better part of three days in my adopted home role-playing various spanking scenarios in which I was his “errant child,” and he was my “father.” The bulk of the material for these scenarios derived from spanking-themed stories that I had written previously, and he edited to suit his own tastes, as well as mine.
I must admit it was quite exciting and stimulating to feel small, innocent, helpless, and completely dependent upon him. The spankings that he gave me seemed, at least in part, to correct several alleged misbehaviors that I had committed in my real childhood.
However, the inherent problem with acting out these scenarios was that this man took them much too far. He really enjoyed giving me pain, and there was little affection or making up afterward. I did not feel truly loved nor cared for by him.
Several years later, I encountered another older gay man who also spanked me. Yet again, he was much too severe and strict for my tastes. In addition, he himself had an obsessive desire to be spanked quite severely, which was something I simply could not provide. So, in both cases, these two men were not an appropriate fit for me. I still hold out hope that one day I will find a “Daddy,” that will love and care for me properly, and will know how to discipline me lovingly, and not sadistically. I still firmly believe that the fundamental premise of being spanked as an adult for past or present misdeeds and misbehaviors is sound and proper for me in general.
Reasons & Methodologies
Now, as an adult, I have quite recently begun to identify myself as a DL, DF, and Little. These new personality aspects assuredly originate from my medical diagnosis of urge incontinence due to diabetic neuropathy (which affected the nerves in my bladder), two years ago.
I would very much like to find a local Daddy near to where I live, preferably an older gay man, with whom I could form a loving, caring, caregiver/little, daddy/son relationship with. This is a very difficult goal, considering I do not live in an area where I know any other people that are part of the AB/DL community, nor do I know any Daddies or caregivers close to my area of residence.
I believe, however, that such people do exist, and that a caring, loving Daddy would be able to take care of my little needs, such as diaper changes, dressing me in little clothing, giving me nice age-appropriate toys to play with, and cuddling with me.
My optimal Daddy also would be able to take care of my need for discipline and correction, by applying spanking as just one tool in a larger array of skillsets and tools to care for my emotional, as well as physical, well-being. The task of finding such an individual is daunting, but I remain hopeful that, one day, I will be successful in my search.
I can foresee that a loving, caring, Daddy would punish me for present misbehaviors, such as disobedience, sass, back-talk, swearing, et cetera, by spanking me, either on my diapered, or bare bottom – not severely – but enough to bring the point across, to teach me appropriate behavior, and help me as a little to be a good boy, and to behave. I think such correction, if applied appropriately, and tempered with true concern and affection for me, would be very beneficial to my emotional state, and would help me mature as well.
While it is true that I have had several negative experiences with spanking, both as a child and as an adult,, I believe in the inherent merit of spanking, if it were to be applied in an appropriate manner, with care, concern, and affection. I think that, in my case, I have never received a truly appropriate spanking that would enhance my emotional well-being, and would also enhance a daddy/son, or caregiver/little relationship, with the right person.
I believe strongly that spanking should never become mutually exclusive in such a relationship, and that it should only be one “color,” so to speak, in a larger, more inclusive palette that includes affection, cuddling, and physical care, such as diaper changing, dressing me in little clothing, and so forth. I still hold out hope that such a caring relationship can be established with the right person, and that spanking would exist as just one dimension of such a caring relationship.