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Thread: Incontinence and its psychological influence on the person

  1. #1

    Default Incontinence and its psychological influence on the person

    Always wanted to know how other people who have bladder or incontinence problems cope with this matter not from physical (diapers, pads, other methods or means of managing uncontrolled wetting), but from psychological way. For me having enuresis was always a much more significant psychological problem in much more extent than physical. At my 27 years of age I have long got accustomed to sleeping in diapers and having bed protection and caring about it if I sleep not at home, but I cannot even now get accustomed to my bed wetting as a problem that does not allow me not to live but to feel as a normal person who does not have such a problem. I remember that during my teenage it caused a lot of psychological problems and a lot of tears were shed about it and now when I am adult person I experience influence of my problem on my way of life, behavior, etc., etc., to say nothing about personal life, so for me the psychological aspect of it is much more serious than the physical one, particularly as incontinence management solutions offered to day are quite effective in many cases.

  2. #2

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    I actually cannot recall a single instance of anxiety from bedwetting as a kid all the way into the mid teens. Sleep away camps, overnighters with school, sleep overs, scouts all of it I did just fine. I only used a plastic sheet at home and did not know about diapers until after I stopped wetting. I do remember being a little anxious about it while I was still active duty and my issues started to return slowly after a few trips overseas and some wear and tear on the body.

    But I still just function as though everything is normal. Because it is. I accepted a long time ago when I was a kid that I was normal and my bodily functions were normal. Not in comparison with others, contemporaries, or the perceived norm by society. But that I was a normal person as myself. I dunno, it's just matter of fact. This is how my body is, and this is how I take care of it and it sure as hell doesn't dictate whether I live a "normal" life in any way shape or form. Wetting the bed or your pants occasionally hardly rates as a physical disability/abnormality in comparison to just about every other unfortunate human condition/injury except for maybe a common cold or a finger cut (just my personal view about myself!).

    Also I've never really given it much thought until a thread like this appears and requires some introspection into the soul, lol. Seriously. I never ever think about it, not when I was a child, a teenager, or when it returned as an adult. It just is, like breathing or digesting. I give bedwetting and the protection requires as much thought as brushing my teeth at night or taking a shower in the morning.

  3. #3

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    I do not feel any less normal or even stressed about having to wear diapers to control my OAB it's just somthing I now have to deal with. The only thing I no longer do is swimming but thinking back I never really liked swimming all that much any ways

    So do not think of your self as any less normal for having to wear protection as its a normal state for millions of people around the world.

  4. #4

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    Doesn't bother me at all now. I have accepted it and get on with life. When I first became incontinent and dependant on nappies I was very concious about people noticing. Now I just don't care any more. I make no effort to hide it any more. If someone sees my nappy or hears the rustle then so what.

  5. #5

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    Unfortunately, the general public is affected to a much greater degree than those of you who have posted. The psychological and emotional impact of incontinence generally is greater than the physical effect of the incontinence itself. Remember, incontinents in the general public who are moderately or severely incontinent generally do not handle it well at all. Perhaps most are in some degree of denial - both about their incontinence and about their need to wear diapers. Many men would rather pee their pants six times a day than admit their problem and, horrors, wear a "diaper."

    Also, many who are incontinent cannot even bring themselves to use the word "diaper." In nursing homes and retirement centers the staff is forbidden to use the word "diaper." "Protective garment" or "brief" is what usually is used.

    Many incontinents socially isolate themselves and compare incontinence to a lifetime jail sentence. Others consider themselves to have become a "pariah." This resultant psychological and physical isolation feeds the loop by keeping those incontinents from learning how to manage their incontinence. It is very sad.

    In contrast, anyone who is incontinent and actively participating in an online support group or other incontinence-related forum by definition is not in denial and is being pro-active about their incontinence. They usually cope fairly effectively and manage the emotional aspects reasonably well.

    --John
    (double incontinent and wearing 24/7)

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ST50 View Post
    Doesn't bother me at all now. I have accepted it and get on with life. When I first became incontinent and dependant on nappies I was very concious about people noticing. Now I just don't care any more. I make no effort to hide it any more. If someone sees my nappy or hears the rustle then so what.
    I agree 100% with this. I was so afraid at first that someone would find out and I would be laughed clean out of the building. At work was the hardest. I am a consultant and must dress reasonably upscale and hiding the bulge is sometimes very hard having my shirt tucked in. Along with this I travel constantly and TSA just sucks. Over the years as things got worse and I went from a guard to a pull up and now full diapers with covers, I have found peace with things. I have had a few people notice over the years, but nothing really came of it. I guess at this point I just feel it is my underware. I do not talk about it any more than someone else might discuss theirs. I am not saying it is easy, but you can learn to live with it just like anything else. Especially if you are not given a choice. Changing at work still causes me nervous fits, but that is life. Wear what works, live with your head up, and never let someone else provide you with your self-worth. I have found that I like diapers now and I have fun with the designs available. At this point when TSA pulls me out for a private screening, I just smile and proudly drop my drawers. It embarrasses them more than me now! Gotta have fun where you can and live your life.

  7. #7

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    For me in life my IC has never been an issue really mentally because I subscribe to the SNAFU state of mind,granted I do have triggers that cause me great emotional trials sometimes, however IC is not one of them, dealing with it or ignoring it are all within my control,what I do or not to is completely up to me, I wear Protection because it has never been a good idea to whiz in any computer (although I have a machine that is"underwater" it's not my water)and I have seen many a power chair unrepairable due to a user's inadequate protection, I do not worry about embarrassment as in issue because when I was able bodied I was in Emergency Services and I have seen things that people due that are so much stupider and embassing than IC that it just doesn't phase me.

    I don't have personal knowledge of Richard Gerre's issues but I can tell you I have had many patients with any number of bizarre things trapped in there causing pain, and after seeing a couple of hundred cases of that there is nothing I could ever due in this life with an IC issue that would ever rise to the level of thought provoking shall we say, IC is generally a sign of a greater Medical problem in the body whereas having a gerbil or zucchini stuck inside you is definitely not an observable "organic dysfunction" in any natural way.

  8. #8

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    It's a struggle but gets a little easier. Talking to my therapist helps because I know she'll listen and provide support/empathy. Find a friend you can get support from. It's not easy but looking at it as just part of your routine is helpful. I try to tell myself, ok time for bed gotta brush my teeth, take meds, put on my diaper, etc. which makes it seem more normal. But I fully realize that IC is not only a physical but mental demon. It may make you feel depressed and anxious or later wer your self esteem. But don't let a diaper deem your self worth.

  9. #9

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    Even though my IC is only bedwetting there are still some times when I go places if I gotta stay the night or something I always wind up getting nervous about my problem an sometimes I go without sleeping because of it. Inside I know its really nothing to worry about even with protection but the anxiety is still there. Although I have gotten very good at concealing it.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by joemama View Post
    Over the years as things got worse and I went from a guard to a pull up and now full diapers with covers, I have found peace with things. I have had a few people notice over the years, but nothing really came of it. I guess at this point I just feel it is my underware. I do not talk about it any more than someone else might discuss theirs. I am not saying it is easy, but you can learn to live with it just like anything else. Especially if you are not given a choice. Wear what works, live with your head up, and never let someone else provide you with your self-worth. I have found that I like diapers now and I have fun with the designs available. At this point when TSA pulls me out for a private screening, I just smile and proudly drop my drawers. It embarrasses them more than me now! Gotta have fun where you can and live your life.
    Great Post Joemama, this pretty much sums it up for me too!!!

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