Sad today, got told I was too old.

Moonshot said:

So what are you saying?

Growing older is something we all have to deal with, there is only one alternative, I don't want to go there.

On the other hand do what makes you feel good. I am only starting to understand the need for that now. I have missed out on too many years of being happy. I will do what I desire if it makes me happy. Sleeping with a plushie is one of them, sleeping in footie sleepers with a pullup or diaper is another. I was thinking today what will people think if I were to die and they had to clean out my house? Would it matter? I would be dead.

Be yourself, accept yourself. To answer dogboy, I like that logic.

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Haha...thanks. I actually was just trying to inject a little humor, but your right. I PM a member every night, and I was just telling him that at my age, I have realized that I don't have a lot of time left to do some of the things I passionately want to do. Years ago I bought the double CD of Arthur Rubinstein playing the Chopin Nocturnes. They are so incredible, and he played them like no other, so I ordered the music thinking I'd just be able to sit down and play them. Boy, was I wrong. They're horribly difficult. It was Rubinstein and his genius that made them sound simple, like music box pieces.

Several months ago I decided that there are a number of them that I wanted to play, almost as well as him and it was now or never. I've been working on five of them. The second one is now note perfect. The first one is coming along well. I just have trouble with the last run. The others are shaping up as well. The thing is, to play a big piece and pull it off as a professional is an amazing experience. It's like setting a down hill record as an Olympic skier. You play it from beginning to end and when you're done, you sit there for a minute, overwhelmed by the beauty of it, both the composition, the genius of the composer and the actual rendering of it.

So many things in life are like that. Life comes at us, and it passes so quickly. If we want to wear diapers, regress, act "little", so be it. We won't come this way again (probably). Every anticipated, enjoyed activity is precious, whether it's diapers, reading a great book, running a 10 miler, or performing your heart's passion. Seize the day!

Hoorf said:

Heck, and why can't you have what you want?

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Because I'm unemployed and they pay for my stuff and what I *need* not what I want (well, sometimes what I want, but its rare though)

I do help them a lot, I drive them to appointments and wherever they need to go so I'm not really leaching off of them. I would like to find a job, close by in case they have an emergency or something, so I have some money coming in.