In five days I will be turning 21 years old....crap. Anyone else here hate getting older??? XD Lol; I know; silly question. XD
But at least I'll be able to drink legally; I've been partying and doing drugs since I first escaped from the mad science lab in Utah.....I thought it was what normal teenagers were supposed to do (I was sixteen when I entered the party scene).
I wanted to blend in, I wanted to do stupid stuff and just have fun and feel like I was just a normal kid and not a total freak on every level....didn't really work out though. After a few fights at various parties, people started catching on that there was something very different about the twelve year old little boy who mysteriously disappeared all those years ago. Even when drunk I was a force of nature; highly trained, programmed to destroy. I started getting popular, which I didn't like because all I wanted to do was.....disappear. Again. Just sink into the shadows, or fly somewhere far far away where nobody knows me or knows what happened....but I know what would happen if I left my family. I wouldn't no where else to go but back to that godforsaken desert where it all began, and I'd be consumed with wrath, and I would turn into a monster and start killing all the mad scientists and evil business men who ruined my life, who just kept chipping away at me until I have no more sense of self; trying to turn me into nothing. And it terrifies me; this darkness in me. The only other urges I have that are strong than the ones for vengeance and killing, are the urges I've had my entire life long before Utah ever happened; the one thing which could save me from this abyss, that can re-design me into how I used to be, full of wonder and imagination and pure innocence, the one thing which can wash all the blood off my hands and caked to my skin and that can stop the screams of tortured children from echoing in my head like they echoed through the drain in the concrete floor of my brick cell that I was forced to relieve myself in, kept in total isolation and sensory deprivation for days at a time; you have no idea just how messed up that stuff can make people; let alone little kids.