....I kinda like the idea of being treated like a baby; getting tucked into a crib at night and mommy or daddy reading me a bedtime story before dimming the lights down and a good night kiss on my forehead. Or bath times; that was another fond memory of childhood; daddy washing my hair in a bubble bath and toweling me off....I'd be kinda embarrassed to be seen naked by my parents....but really, it's nothing they haven't seen before. Plus I've been naked in front of total strangers before when I was in jail and have been naked in locker rooms when I was kidnapped by the mad scientists. Considering that, I'd probably feel more comfortable around my parents than I was in any of those situations.
Anyhoo....Dad said that if I was really sure that I wanted to be treated like a baby that "You can't enjoy the best of both worlds." Made me really consider the ramifications. I like superhero movies and comics, but they're all rated PG-13; I'd probably have to get rid of those. I have a lot of ninja weapons too; occasionally I've hurt myself on them and my room looks like it's kinda been put through a wood chipper from all the nunchakus and throwing knives and stars and times I've accidentally gotten my samurai sword stuck into the ceiling. Babies can only play with baby toys though; no more training or playing with lethal weapons.
I could definitely see the Baby Treatment getting kinda old after a while.....but you know what sucks the worst? That I genuinely need to be treated like a baby, and I hate myself for it.
I've only been treated like three things in my entire life: A baby, a lab rat/science project, and a soldier/weapon. I have NEVER had to discipline myself; some other authority figure has always had discipline me themselves, and I'm scared and clueless now that I've escaped the laboratory and no longer of anyone to hold my hand or my feet to the fire. I was never able to learn how to be an adult. I've never been to highschool, I've never been with a girl, I've never had anything a normal kid should get to experience; no proms or homecoming, no friends or playdates. My life was stolen from me by those monsters thousands of miles away and I'm just about as helpless as a baby now when it comes to taking care of myself.
I can't sleep right, I can't take care of my hygiene right, I can't fix my own food right without getting frustrated and making a mess, I can't even finish what I start or get all my chores done on time. I can't even talk right; I have a speech impediment because growing up there was more important stuff my family had to worry about besides teaching me how to talk right; my Rs sound like Os and Ls.
I have no self discipline, a lot of mental health issues, and detriorating health because I never learned how to be an adult and take care of myself. I also have a drug and alcohol problem that I've been trying to kick for a few years to no avail which just wastes me away even more. I'm a piping hot mess right now.....(no pun intended).
My life has been chaos, violence, and madness. And I can't hardly take it anymore; been breaking down and crying a lot more, which is weird; I hardly ever cry, in fact I used to have problems being able to cry. It's kinda nice but just makes me feel like a baby at the same time and I'm just so sick of hating myself.....I'm still a little hesitant to take my parents up on their offer though, because I know they'd probably do it for all the same reasons I've just listed. Because I need to be treated like a baby for my own good and to save me from going crazy and letting all my hate and anger eat me alive.
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If I agreed to let them do it though....I'm pretty sure it could solve just about all my problems. It's like......an Intervention to get get me clean and sober and healthy and to force me to accept myself and stop hating myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I need to be treated like a baby for my own good.