Hey everyone! I haven't logged on in a while, but I knew as soon as I was experiencing some turmoil I could turn to you all for some advice.
My girlfriend and I (dating for 7 months) broke up the other day and I've been suffering. What makes this complicated is that aside from being my girlfriend, she was my Mama. It wasn'it so much as a MD/LB relationship, more like a romantic relationship with an understanding and participating partner.
When I regress into little space since the break up, often involuntarily due to some PTSD stuff, "little me" gets super scared and anxious because Mama is gone. "Little me" doesn't know why she left or when she's coming back. "Big me" obviously does, but as we all know, "big" cognitions most times don't carry over to little space. When I'm in little space, all I know at the moment is abandonment.
In little space, I've been crying out uncontrollably for her, but she obviously is gone in retrospect. It's killing me inside because I can't comfort my little self in these times.
So what I'm asking I guess is for advice as to how to deal with an adult romantic relationship break up when it's directly affecting "little me". I miss her very very much in the big scheme of things; that pain is amplified ten fold in little space.
Has anyone experienced this before? Does anyone know how to comfort their little self in times like this? Has anyone ever experienced a guilty feeling of being a little after a romantic relationship break up?
I've been so depressed over this whole situation; relapsing and such. I can't even discuss this with my therapist. I'm afraid I'm riding a thin line in terms of being safe.
HELP. Please. Anything. Thank you in advance for support!!!