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Thread: Still struggling with wet nights

  1. #1

    Unhappy Still struggling with wet nights

    My Bedwetting hasn't improved much at all these past few weeks. It's been about a year now since battling nightly wet beds or diapers. I hate it so much. I still don't feel used to it. It really brings down my self esteem and makes me feel depressed and angry... I'm going to be 21 in a month and still have to wear diapers at night and worry about wetting the bed. I know it's contrary to many on this forum but I HATE having to wear a diaper. It makes me feel stupid, like less of a person and undignified. I know I need to though for better sleep and personal hygiene.

    My therapist said it will get better as I process the childhood trauma that caused it. Still, I wake up every morning wet. I am just so frustrated and could use support. I'm worried it will never get better. I know I can talk about it in therapy but it still makes me embarrassed. I'm trying to reframe my negative thoughts but just seem to get angrier because it still ends up bringing me down. How can I make dealing with it and talking about it easier?

  2. #2

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    I like diapers, so obviously I'm biased but I'd say that part of what will likely hold you back on this is giving diapers too much power. They're just a product and one that you need because of a problem which you hope to resolve. In your case, they are no different from a pill or crutches or cast on a broken limb. Allowing yourself to believe that they undermine your adulthood is going to make it harder for you to get better. I hope that soon you won't need them, but for now, use them as a reasonable response to an unpleasant circumstance.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I like diapers, so obviously I'm biased but I'd say that part of what will likely hold you back on this is giving diapers too much power. They're just a product and one that you need because of a problem which you hope to resolve. In your case, they are no different from a pill or crutches or cast on a broken limb. Allowing yourself to believe that they undermine your adulthood is going to make it harder for you to get better. I hope that soon you won't need them, but for now, use them as a reasonable response to an unpleasant circumstance.
    Thanks. I try to view it as a crutch sometimes but it's hard on my bad days. I agree that I give diapers too much power, too which has been hard to fix.

  4. #4

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    I am not a Doctor, but I think I can on the internet.

    Consult: There are millions of men who wear protection for bladder leaks (incontinence) and or bedwetting (enuresis). If you don't make it a big deal it won't be a big deal. Some things in life just are what they are, and one has to adapt to "the new normal". Deal with it appropriately privately yourself. Anyone who truly loves you will not care if one of your body parts is broke.

    Rx: Change daily fluid intake to be most in morning hours and reduce in afternoon; No fluids after 5pm; elevate feet higher than nose 2x for 30 minutes each in afternoon to drain lower leg/ankle swelling if necessary; practice double voiding prior to sleep; set alarm to wake and void after 4 hours of sleep; document via bladder diary: time, type, intake/output volumes and accident signals/approx time; wear absorbents if desired as necessary; 30 day return appointment with bladder diary.


    Invoice: $1,725
    Last edited by LittleICme; 13-Jan-2016 at 02:57.

  5. #5

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    It could be much worse. My wife isn't very happy that if she wants to walk, she has to put on her prosthetic leg, as she is a diabetic amputee. I say this not to make you feel bad or worse, but just to say that so many people have physical disabilities that they must learn to live with.

    This is a medical problem so I hope you will learn to both accept it and learn to cope with it. It may not be permanent, but even if it is, it's something you can accommodate. Since you said this was caused by childhood trauma and you are seeing a therapist, I'm guessing there are a lot of other things bothering you, things that you must deal with. Hopefully over time, you will be able to sort all of this out and you will begin to feel better.

    Just because you must wear diapers doesn't mean that you are any less of a person, any more than my wife is less of a person because she is missing part of her leg. She's still the same wonderful person I married. You're still the same wonderful person you have always been. This is just a part of your body or mind, not cooperating with you. If you can think positively over the good parts of your life, you will feel better over all and that should help. I do hope things get better for you.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    It could be much worse. My wife isn't very happy that if she wants to walk, she has to put on her prosthetic leg, as she is a diabetic amputee. I say this not to make you feel bad or worse, but just to say that so many people have physical disabilities that they must learn to live with.

    This is a medical problem so I hope you will learn to both accept it and learn to cope with it. It may not be permanent, but even if it is, it's something you can accommodate. Since you said this was caused by childhood trauma and you are seeing a therapist, I'm guessing there are a lot of other things bothering you, things that you must deal with. Hopefully over time, you will be able to sort all of this out and you will begin to feel better.

    Just because you must wear diapers doesn't mean that you are any less of a person, any more than my wife is less of a person because she is missing part of her leg. She's still the same wonderful person I married. You're still the same wonderful person you have always been. This is just a part of your body or mind, not cooperating with you. If you can think positively over the good parts of your life, you will feel better over all and that should help. I do hope things get better for you.
    Thanks. I'm sorry that your wife struggles. I've had my fair share of medical problems because of a serious case of anorexia from 12-20. I've been so emaciated before when I've been forced to use a wheelchair, tube dependent, etcetera. Likewise I've missed a lot of opportunities in life because of being too sick. Case in point: having to leave classes early when I was in school I've had to leave class because I was bleeding out of my hip from a bone marrow biopsy I had a few hours earlier, I've had a blood transfusion at 19 due to chronic malnourishment and was in the hospital for a week, spent Christmas and my sixteenth birthday in a rehab center. The list goes on. Having health problems can rob you of a lot.

    My therapist also thinks that my IC probes are related to my ED, since I'd sometimes having wetting accidents during the day but it's gotten a little better since I've gotten fat . My doctor agreed and I know bladder weakness is a complication of anorexia. But the Bedwetting really didn't get bad until the trauma became a subject in therapy. I guess I've never thought of Bedwetting as another complication of my ED/trauma, more of just something that was my fault, made me a bad person, etc. I just can't wait for the week where I wake up 7 nights in a row dry!

    Also I'm proud to say that I journaled about my anger about Bedwetting and just dropped it off to my therapist. it's of she brings it up, but she's ALWAYS so awkward about it, which makes things awkward for me, lol. But hopefully she can help me deal with that anger in a healthier way, in addition to reframing my negative thoughts.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hipster View Post
    Thanks. I'm sorry that your wife struggles. I've had my fair share of medical problems because of a serious case of anorexia from 12-20. I've been so emaciated before when I've been forced to use a wheelchair, tube dependent, etcetera. Likewise I've missed a lot of opportunities in life because of being too sick. Case in point: having to leave classes early when I was in school I've had to leave class because I was bleeding out of my hip from a bone marrow biopsy I had a few hours earlier, I've had a blood transfusion at 19 due to chronic malnourishment and was in the hospital for a week, spent Christmas and my sixteenth birthday in a rehab center. The list goes on. Having health problems can rob you of a lot.

    My therapist also thinks that my IC probes are related to my ED, since I'd sometimes having wetting accidents during the day but it's gotten a little better since I've gotten fat . My doctor agreed and I know bladder weakness is a complication of anorexia. But the Bedwetting really didn't get bad until the trauma became a subject in therapy. I guess I've never thought of Bedwetting as another complication of my ED/trauma, more of just something that was my fault, made me a bad person, etc. I just can't wait for the week where I wake up 7 nights in a row dry!

    Also I'm proud to say that I journaled about my anger about Bedwetting and just dropped it off to my therapist. it's of she brings it up, but she's ALWAYS so awkward about it, which makes things awkward for me, lol. But hopefully she can help me deal with that anger in a healthier way, in addition to reframing my negative thoughts.
    I'm so very sorry for all that you've been through. Definitely don't beat yourself up concerning your bed wetting, and I hope you won't blame yourself even if it is related to your anorexia. Anorexia is also an illness, something you didn't ask for. There are a lot of things that happen to us that we most certainly didn't ask for. All we can do is try to live through it and will ourselves to overcome the horrible hurtles.

    I had my share of them when I was in college. I had Borderline Personality Disorder. I did a lot of bad things to myself, making bad choices and being easily led and used by others. When I graduated, I was determined to walk away from it and start over, something which I did. This worked until the church where I was employed as the organist/accompanist, hired as the music director, a guy who was a senior when I was a freshman at the same college. He knew of my gay past and used it to not only manipulate me, but forced me to have sex if I wanted to stay employed. He was evil. I eventually quit, found another job several states away and moved.

    Sometimes we just have to walk away and move on. I hope you achieve continence as this is what you want. If you can't, I hope you can accept yourself as a good person. You've been through a lot. For those of us who are damaged, we can feel each others pain, and care. Hugs.

  8. #8

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    I wet the bed every night and wear nappies and plastic pants. My bed always has a noisy plastic sheet over the matteras and I have a bed pad to catch any leaks from my nappy. I have learned to accept I will always wet the bed and just get on with life. My wife has never complained about my bedwetting and still happily sleeps with me and providing I don't wet her side of the bed she says it doesn't matter to her that I am a bedwetter.

  9. #9

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    we have all been there the beginning struggles with putting off wearing diapers I was there myself. You will thank yourself for buying the diapers and realizing that you will get a better nights sleep and wont wake up in a wet bed and have to have the expense of washing your bedding and pajamas each day and the bedroom will have a better smell since you wont have a wet bed anymore. And yes even during the day wearing diapers will have a profound effect on your confidence and knowing that you wont have wet pants and able to go thru your day perfectly fine. Just have to know your limits of the diaper you buy. so you can plan your changes correctly. a good high capacity diaper will get you thru most of the daytime hours I find that I do use 3-4 a day one for the overnights one for the morning coffee period and one more change in the late afternoon some days maybe one more change in the daytime. I will suggest two excellent diaper suppliers for you that you can mail order from Gary at XP Medical and Jeremy from Diaper Connioseur Abena Abri Forn Xplus M or L 4 's Dry 24-7's and the DC Amours are my now three go to diapers both will ship to you in plain packaging and are honest and trustworthy. If you need a ear to talk to I am here for you. Do keep a positive attitude and know we are here for you if you need us.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by xpluswearer View Post
    we have all been there the beginning struggles with putting off wearing diapers I was there myself. You will thank yourself for buying the diapers and realizing that you will get a better nights sleep and wont wake up in a wet bed and have to have the expense of washing your bedding and pajamas each day and the bedroom will have a better smell since you wont have a wet bed anymore. And yes even during the day wearing diapers will have a profound effect on your confidence and knowing that you wont have wet pants and able to go thru your day perfectly fine. Just have to know your limits of the diaper you buy. so you can plan your changes correctly. a good high capacity diaper will get you thru most of the daytime hours I find that I do use 3-4 a day one for the overnights one for the morning coffee period and one more change in the late afternoon some days maybe one more change in the daytime. I will suggest two excellent diaper suppliers for you that you can mail order from Gary at XP Medical and Jeremy from Diaper Connioseur Abena Abri Forn Xplus M or L 4 's Dry 24-7's and the DC Amours are my now three go to diapers both will ship to you in plain packaging and are honest and trustworthy. If you need a ear to talk to I am here for you. Do keep a positive attitude and know we are here for you if you need us.

    Thanks. I used to like live in an apartment with 5 other guys and I ordered north shore care air supremes. Being the only girl, I got a lot of extra privacy . I live with my parents again and I don't feel comfortable ordering diapers to my door, even if the box is discreet. Now I use walgreen's certainty briefs. They are a LOT thinner, VERY noisy and not as comfortable but the last few nights they've kept my bed dry. They sag so bad though, almost to my knees haha, but it's just me in my room so who cares? I've occasionally worn daytime protection but I don't need it as much now that my body is a lot stronger. Sometimes it would be nice since I pee like sometimes every fifteen minutes and work outside where we only have a port a potty for a bathroom, but I'm not really convinced I need daytime protection yet, since I haven't had as many wet days the past few months. If the urge hits bad I'll just pee in my horses stall while I work, lol. Let me at least turn the ripe old age of 21 before I am daytime dependent too.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks <3 means a lot especially today, which has been rough (not related to IC). I'm sorry about your experiences also and I know firsthand how painful that type of coercion is.

    It's cool that you're a musician. I played violin as a high schooler in a local orchestra... Favorite to play symphonic was totally schubert's unfinished, but individual was Dvojak's Humoresque. I studied a lot about music theory also. It's something I've abandoned again but really want to start playing to deal with my issues and improve self esteem. Music is therapy, healing, And a beautiful language able to express so much more than words.

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