Lately I have been confused about life.. I will start from the beginning..
When I was 3/4 just old enough to think for myself and such. I thought I was a girl. My parents treated me like such for a short time. When I got to pre-school age that stopped. The thought left my head for the next couple years.
When I was 5-6 I started wanting to paint my nails and wear girly cloths and that was stopped very quickly. My parents physically and mentally beat it out of me.
Nothing came of it until puberty think 16 or so (I was a late bloomer, I know). When I really started to hate myself. I lived live and did my thing not much I could do.
Fast forward to today I am fairly fresh out of college, just got a job. I feel like I was meant to be a girl. It is really starting to bug me, I am not the type to be easily depressed but I'd call my current state just that. I've been viewing the MtF transition reedit for 12 hours straight.. I really want to do it...
The problem I am running into is A. my catholic bigoted parents, I live near and see my Grandpa on the daily. Now he is a VERY accepting man, but he is 80. So I can't imagine he'd accept it. I don't feel right with who I am and it is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. Though if I did anything to change who I am.. would it just make my life worse? I need advice.. I am lost.