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Thread: Why It Is The Way It Is

  1. #1

    Default Why It Is The Way It Is

    Hey, everyone, I'm Aki. Long time member, but I went inactive for awhile. I don't know how active I plan on being, but here I am.

    I don't know if this is better as a blog post, but I'm opening this up for discussion to see how many people can actually pinpoint what happened in their life to bring this fetish/fixation to light. I don't believe that it's something that we're born with; I think that usually, with fetishes, something happened during critical points in our development that caused it.

    I know where my fixation came from, and it took a long time and some sly questioning of my mom to put together an answer. My mom potty trained me when I was a very young two. I loved my aunt's house, and my cousins, and really wanted to stay and spend the night. My mom said basically, "you can't spend the night until you're out of diapers". An innocuous enough statement, but to two-year-old me, it sounding more like a threat feels right. She said I was potty trained a week later. Getting out of diapers wasn't my choice. If anyone knows anything about child development, you would know that a young two is 1.) very young to be toilet trained, 2.) a time when children are focused on autonomy, and 3.) toilet training has to be child-driven or you can run the risk of serious complexes.

    The result? A preschooler obsessed with stealing diapers and putting them on, who was pulled forcefully out of his comfort zone in a very intimate way (can't think of anything more private than that area to feel like you have no control over. Follow the chain of logic, and wonder no more why I have a diaper fetish and am so anxious about sexual situations).

    So, there's my breakthrough. I'm sure your feelings about diapers are different in nature than mine, I think we all feel differently about them even though we share the fixation in common. For me, it's security and safety. For you, is it relinquishing control? Something else? What is it for you? And why?

  2. #2


    My story is a little bit complicated. My mother tells me I was pretty easily toilet trained at two. I discovered masturbation at about four, and I'm going to assume that I must have been exposed to something related to pee or potty training, probably on TV, around the time I was beginning to pleasure myself, as the fetish stuck. Commercials for training pants, certain episodes of Rugrats, etc. fascinated me, and I recall a time seeing my baby cousin wet a diaper during a change that caught my interest. My mother always told me that I didn't wear Pull-Ups during my training, and said they were silly, as they were just diapers. I echoed her sentiments, but deep down inside I liked them in a way I of course didn't understand at the time; perhaps something about their ''taboo'' nature helped set me off, I don't know. Oddly enough though, I never really thought about wearing them myself or scheming to get some.

    I started experimenting with wetting around 11 or 12, but I didn't really discover my adult baby side and a strong desire to actually wear diapers until about three years ago. I think growing up in a rather dysfunctional dynamic, along with some emotional trauma, is probably to blame.

    So there's a part of me that wants to wear and be babied for comfort and safety and security, and a part of me that just finds stuff like potty-training scenarios arousing.
    Last edited by KimbaStarshine; 27-Dec-2015 at 14:47. Reason: added something

  3. #3


    I think it's fun to wonder about why we have these inclinations, but I don't think that any of us really know, and I don't think we ever will. Terms like "imprinting" and "love map" are endlessly tossed around, but these are terms for biological and psychological processes that virtually every human is subject to, so by themselves they aren't all that interesting to talk about. Similarly, we often hear people pin their AB/DL tendencies on things like potty training early, potty training late, bed-wetting, etc. The trouble with these things is similar: They're not unique to AB/DLs. Gazillions of kids potty-train "early" and "late", and yet we don't have gazillions of AB/DLs. Clearly, developing an attraction to diapers is not simply our brain's response to one particular diaper-related experience, because as babies and toddlers, our lives pretty much revolve around diapers and diaper changes. Name any diaper-related thing, and there will be many, many non-AB/DLs who've experienced it. To explain the origins of diaper fetishes and similar things, I suppose we're really looking for coincidences--windows of opportunity for our sexual inclinations to be mutated that coincide with diaper-related experiences.

    These experiences might be ordinary or somewhat less than ordinary, and they probably needn't be exceedingly unusual or strange. Some of us, for example, can point to sexual or emotional abuse in our childhoods. I can't. Some had generally unhappy childhoods. I didn't. I had a younger sister in diapers, and I was probably a bit jealous of the babying she got--but then that scenario is super common with siblings. Truly, I can point to no one thing that seems to be the origin of my diaper fetish. It just... is. I've wanted to wear diapers for as long as I can remember.

    Now, to the question of what diapers are to me: They are, for me, largely an accessory to self-stimulation. Ok, ok... "masturbation". *blush* Put in clinical terms: I would characterize my own DL-ness as autonepiophilia--an autoerotic response to the mental image of myself as a toddler in a diaper. That there's a toddler angle to it might suggest that I'm an AB also, but it's such an intensely sexual thing, and so lacking in any inclination toward age-play and other AB activities, that it really doesn't seem right to call myself an AB. I'll sometimes refer to my "toddler side" or "baby side", but in my own little corner of the spectrum, these terms describe only my rather particular preference for babyish diapers.

  4. #4


    My mom said I was easy to potty train as well. I lifted up the cushion and peed on the couch ... I got yelled at and spanked ... and ever since I was potty trained. >.>
    So that's a thing. xD Clearly she was wrong ROFL. Considering I did that on purpose as far as I remember.

    So an interesting fact is because of this I know I was interested in diapers while I was wearing diapers as a baby. Which makes me wonder if all babies like wearing diapers to begin with, and maybe it just eventually gets taught to them that it's a grown up thing to do to use the potty. So if potty training is done too early and/or it isn't taught in a manner that makes you want to switch to a potty, maybe the liking diapers thing just persists.

  5. #5


    For me I was rather 'slow' in terms of development when was young. I couldn't even speak the all too stereotypical baby gibberish and my parents thought I was either going to be a mute or that I have down syndrome. Some time later (age 4) one of my best friends at the time happened to be one of those kids who would steal some of their sibling's diapers. At the time, the idea of wearing diapers was interesting so I tried one on. I ended up wearing it home and was later discovered/punished. A couple years later I was climbing a tree in my family's back yard (4 story pine tree). About three stories high, I lose my grip and fell all the way to the ground, smashing my back on the branches as I went. Sadly no one was home and I ended up crawling back into the house. After this I suffered from bedwetting for about a year. During this time my parents thought it was just me being lazy and bought me some plastic sheets and taught me how to do my own laundry. Fast forward another year, I tried skateboarding. In a painful wipe out, I cracked my back on a half pipe, knocking me out cold. I wasn't brought to the hospital, rather I was merely brought home and laid on a couch. The bedwetting ensues and so does the almost constant laundry. My parents thought it was just due to nightmares because of the movies I watched. Around age 8 I became and uncle and you can guess what followed. So for the next two years I was able to enjoy wearing some "borrowed" diapers. Course, also at this time my parents started demanding that I act more mature to set an example for my niece and her brother who was born a while later. Bye bye childhood... Fast forward to the birth of my twin nieces and with the opportunity arisen I tried my luck, only to discover "oh hey, not THAT small anymore." So I made my own makeshift diapers and dream about my parents actually spending some old fashion quality time with me. In about 2010, I suffered my first concussion when I ran head first into a hurricane class five proof glass door and nearly cracked it. My parents' decision? Oh he'll be fine. As a result, I started having some memory issues. In the winter of 2013, black ice was a problem on the sidewalks at my high school and I fall on it, striking my skull against someone's car; second concussion and wasn't checked on if I was OK. Junior year (2014), some jerk catches me in the back with the hood of his car. From that day onwards, I couldn't properly feel anything from the waist down. I could still walk, but it was mostly numbed. Bedwetting issues ensues and my parents rub it off as just the stress of high school. That summer I decided to finally go get myself some diapers from walgreens (certainty). They helped with the occasional nighttime incident, and helped comfort me. The december of my senior year. I caught the norovirus. For me, it caused me to lose control down there at random times. Regrettably for me, I ran out of supplies (and funds to get some more) and had to wake up with soiled pajamas for two weeks. My parents might've been worried, but they thought I'd just get over it. Tell that to my ten ruined pairs of underwear. Might I add that I ended up messing myself at school three times! So eventually I get better, but I now to this day have constant runs which I can barely sense coming. I am now in my first year of college, and I try to stay padded as much as possible due to my ever increasing loss of control. Side note to the loss of control, I've had 14 accidents in the past three weeks alone. I've told my parents and they either it is in my head or just me trying to get attention. Why do some parents have to be so nonchalant.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Btw, sorry for the long post, but I just wanted to get it all typed fast before the browser tried to refresh deleting it all.

  6. #6


    I will tell you what I have told everyone else: I don't know where it came from or why I feel compelled to live any of it out. Sure, I have a few theories, but I am 99.9% sure that those moments in my life weren't the sole reason of where my Infantilist tendencies came from and why I practise it.

    I know one thing though, I didn't just wake up one morning and think "hey, I want to be an "Adult Baby". This seems like a great idea to be unique and blah, blah, blah". I was an ABDL far before I knew it was a thing. If I were to jump on a trend bandwagon for whatever reason I would definitely choose something a little more sane, less stressful and less secretive.
    Last edited by Note; 27-Dec-2015 at 11:16.

  7. #7


    I didn't have any trauma, or any unusual potty-training experience, or really anything out of the ordinary that I know of. I've just always liked diapers. One of my earliest memories is pooping in one. By now I'm sure I've skewed the memory to what I want it to be like, but I remember enjoying it a lot, almost like the "kid equivalent" of the precursor to an adult orgasm, if that makes any sense. Even now, whenever I have "wet dreams" I am peeing or pooping in a diaper during the orgasm.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by babysittee View Post
    By now I'm sure I've skewed the memory to what I want it to be like, but I remember enjoying it a lot, almost like the "kid equivalent" of the precursor to an adult orgasm, if that makes any sense.
    Interesting that you mention this, because I was struggling with how to describe a similar thing, and ended up avoiding it altogether. It was late when I wrote my reply, and my brain just wasn't finding the words.

    I was wearing a diaper when I reached orgasm for the first time. I've described it before: I was 12 years old, and had this feeling like I was going to wet my diaper, something I generally avoided, as I was wearing old cloth baby diapers and didn't have a great way to wash them. At the same time, the feeling was uncommonly good, and the sense that I was somehow losing control was intriguing. So I didn't stop. Afterwards, I nervously investigated the aftermath and figured out what had actually happened. Looking back, I've often considered this to be the turning point in my DL career: The point at which diapers became sexual for me.

    But perhaps they always were sexual, and the biological signals simply hadn't finished hooking themselves up? It's kind of funny and distressing at the same time, but I actually can't remember what I got out of wearing diapers before that first orgasm. And yet, I'd been wearing diapers for years. I can remember sneaking them from wherever they were stored, putting them on, playing in them, sleeping in them, etc. I was totally addicted, from the age of 6. But what I actually got out of wearing, or how the diapers made me feel during those early years, was quickly obscured by that first orgasm. I wonder if that's common among the sexuals here? I've never wondered that aloud.

  9. #9


    Playing the psychology game is always fun. There are no rules and you can make up any story that makes you feel happy or content.

    If you are interested in a scientific explanation, biological imprinting theories are the only ones I've seen that offer substantial scientific support. I've never seen diaper desires specifically addressed, but there is pretty convincing evidence that certain desires, especially sexual desires, are imprinted biologically rather than psychologically.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    Playing the psychology game is always fun. There are no rules and you can make up any story that makes you feel happy or content.

    If you are interested in a scientific explanation, biological imprinting theories are the only ones I've seen that offer substantial scientific support. I've never seen diaper desires specifically addressed, but there is pretty convincing evidence that certain desires, especially sexual desires, are imprinted biologically rather than psychologically.
    If we simply leave it at "imprinting", though, then we're stopping short of the goal line. The processes you describe are not unique to AB/DLs or other groups, so in the context of "why am I AB/DL?", they're just tools for understanding the actual answer, not answers unto themselves. It's a bit like saying that a car accident happened because "cars". Well, ok, yeah, one kind of has to have a car to crash it, but then a lot of people have cars and don't crash them, so why did I get into an accident? Was it something I did? Another driver, perhaps? An act of God? Some combination? The car is kind of the least interesting part of the answer, and so it is with the imprinting and love map theories. They offer a framework for explaining how other factors may have contributed, and those other factor are, to an individual wondering why he himself was saddled with a diaper fetish, far more interesting than the biological or psychological machinery he shares with every other human. Right?

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