Hey, everyone, I'm Aki. Long time member, but I went inactive for awhile. I don't know how active I plan on being, but here I am.
I don't know if this is better as a blog post, but I'm opening this up for discussion to see how many people can actually pinpoint what happened in their life to bring this fetish/fixation to light. I don't believe that it's something that we're born with; I think that usually, with fetishes, something happened during critical points in our development that caused it.
I know where my fixation came from, and it took a long time and some sly questioning of my mom to put together an answer. My mom potty trained me when I was a very young two. I loved my aunt's house, and my cousins, and really wanted to stay and spend the night. My mom said basically, "you can't spend the night until you're out of diapers". An innocuous enough statement, but to two-year-old me, it sounding more like a threat feels right. She said I was potty trained a week later. Getting out of diapers wasn't my choice. If anyone knows anything about child development, you would know that a young two is 1.) very young to be toilet trained, 2.) a time when children are focused on autonomy, and 3.) toilet training has to be child-driven or you can run the risk of serious complexes.
The result? A preschooler obsessed with stealing diapers and putting them on, who was pulled forcefully out of his comfort zone in a very intimate way (can't think of anything more private than that area to feel like you have no control over. Follow the chain of logic, and wonder no more why I have a diaper fetish and am so anxious about sexual situations).
So, there's my breakthrough. I'm sure your feelings about diapers are different in nature than mine, I think we all feel differently about them even though we share the fixation in common. For me, it's security and safety. For you, is it relinquishing control? Something else? What is it for you? And why?