Crying as a fantasy?

Recently I've had a thought: Some day, when I get into little space with someone, I really want to end up crying like a 4 year old. A real little meltdown, and have a "daddy" calm me down.

I even know why. I am a very impressionable and sensitive person. I take everything extremely personally and get offended easily. In my waking life I constantly need to keep this mask of emotional composure/poker face to survive, and that has lead me to dull my emotions over time. They were simply too much to live with in the real world.

So I guess I long for release of all the supressed emotional tension I have built inside all the time. I wanna cry like the little boy that I am.

Maybe one day laugh like one as well, but that's another matter

Anyone feel the same?

some1 said:

Recently I've had a thought: Some day, when I get into little space with someone, I really want to end up crying like a 4 year old. A real little meltdown, and have a "daddy" calm me down.

I even know why. I am a very impressionable and sensitive person. I take everything extremely personally and get offended easily. In my waking life I constantly need to keep this mask of emotional composure/poker face to survive, and that has lead me to dull my emotions over time. They were simply too much to live with in the real world.

So I guess I long for release of all the supressed emotional tension I have built inside all the time. I wanna cry like the little boy that I am.

Maybe one day laugh like one as well, but that's another matter

Anyone feel the same?

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I was exactly the same way. I could be joking with my Mom and she could joke back about something that could make me cry lol. In some cases i was told I was overly sensitive. However, over time it became a problem in school. It also became a problem with my x step father at the time as he was one of those macho kinda men. So because I acted feminine and cried a lot .. he would call me a fairy and pick on me.

So eventually I just built barriers upon barriers trying to hide my emotions. Now I rarely ever actually cry. I may tear up now and then, but I stop myself from going any further than that unintentionally. Even things that make me feel like I am going to just break down and cry ... never happens. I get to the point where I just have to stop what I am doing and I hop into the shower to calm myself down.

I really wish I was able to cry like I used to before all the crap. But for me it doesn't have much to do with being an AB/DL, little or what have you. I just wish I can cry normally as an adult.

some1 said:

Anyone feel the same?

Click to expand...

Yeah to some extent... since I hit my 20s I can no longer cry the way I used to when I was a child - I miss being able to get my emotions out properly. I would like to have a really good age-play session with someone I really trusted where I could try and cry properly once again... but it's hard, it would need to be the exact right person and circumstances... *hugs* little one.

yes i am exactly the same, as a kid i was punished for crying, "ill give you somethign to cry for" was the general repsonse.. so i built up lots of barriers. now, it takes a lot to get me to cry, I have cried 2 in the last 3 years, the first was at my nanas funeral, And only for 30 seconds during a song, The second was when i had my major depression in january of this year. and then it was only again for about 30 seconds.

I do regularly wish i could cry like a baby once again.

cheers
Babylea