I am new to adisc and wanted some thoughts from more experienced members. I haven't shared my story with anyone but my therapist, so here goes:
I experienced multiple sexual, physical, and psychological traumas from age five to about age thirteen. I developed mental health issues at age 12 but never opened up about the sexual abuse until a year ago. I will not go into details but at one point I urinated on my abuser in fear and was also abused in the bathroom. Since then I have always had anxieties about having accidents like during the abuse. I wet the bed off and on as a child, but when I disclosed the abuse in counseling my bed wetting became increasingly problematic. I went from having accidents occasionally, to a few times per week, to pretty much every now night... Sometimes multiple times per night. I will occasionally have daytime accidents during severe flashbacks also. According to my GP there is nothing medically wrong with me.
My therapist knows about my accidents and says that they won't get better until I deal with the abuse. I have so much anger, frustration, shame, and loss of self esteem since the accidents got worse. I finally caved six months ago and decided to eschew wet sheets and PJs for diapers. My sleep quality is better, my skin isn't irritated anymore, but sometimes I feel like diapers make me feel worse about myself. I feel so ashamed and no one knows- not even my family. I finally just told my therapist about the diapers because even though they help me, they also humiliate me.
Has anyone else had bed wetting caused by PTSD? How long did it last? How did you cope with it? Even if trauma is not the cause of your bed wetting, how do you cope both practically and emotionally with IC, using protection, etc?
Thanks for the support!