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Thread: So many things are going through my mind

  1. #1

    Default So many things are going through my mind

    I am writing this mainly to sort out what is on my mind and the conversation I just had. My girlfriend and I just had another deep conversation about my ABDL. As some of you know already I just started delving into the ABDL life, not really understanding it. I have been trying to find my place in ABDL and what it is that I am looking for.

    I just tried to explain to her that I have finally accepted myself as ABDL and that I am happy with who I am. I explained to her that the things I thought I wanted when we had our first talk have changed, as I am no longer in the Binge Purge cycle. That is one thing I learned here and tried to explain to her. Now that I know that this isn't going away and I have embraced myself as ABDL, I want this more than I originally thought.

    When we first discussed all this I was expecting to wear diapers for a few weeks or says and then expected my urges to go away, but now I know they wont. I am accepting this and I wont feel the guild and shame of it anymore. I originally told her that it was only going to be a few days here and there, but it has grown much more. Not because I was lying to her but because I didn't understand it myself.

    This last conversation we had tonight did not go so well. She started second guessing things, me. Said I wasn't the same person. If I'm wearing diapers, we cant talk or joke or make funny sexual jokes/comments. This is something that we don't want to be sexual, but from what I can tell right now, it might just be destroying what we have. I don't want it to. I love her with all my heart. We are going to try to work through this but we are both scared because we don't know what is going to happen in the future. What if she decides she isn't comfortable with me wearing diapers all the time like I said I wanted. I told her that I would be able to compromise, but as expected, she said she would only feel guilty because I wouldn't be happy.

    I would be happy. As long as she is there with me though it all. I don't want to let this become something that will tear us apart, but at the same time, I don't think I want to give it up.

    After a long hour of talking, crying, nerves and being scared we ended on happier notes. We told each other 'I love you' and sat there holding each other.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hopefully you can work this out. Not only is this a learning process for you, but also for her. She needs to find some understanding, that you could live with it making compromises and still be happy. I suspect that most of us married AB/DLs live that way. Your fortunate in that she loves you and will try to make this work. The two of you just need to keep working at it. At the same time, you don't want to always be discussing diaper wearing or you'll wear her out. It's about timing and pacing. Good luck.

  3. #3

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    People are always saying that relationships are based on more than a single issue, which is true, but in this case the divide over ABDL behavior is the single biggest issue between the two of you, and probably will be for the entire time you are together. Compromise is mandatory for the relationship, but there is no guarantee that an acceptable compromise can be found. Start with the most stark, black and white compromise: She accepts you as a person with unusual desires but that you take care of those needs privately and don't involve her physically or verbally in any ABDL play. Could both of you accept such a compromise without guilt or resentment? Would you both be willing to try this arrangement on a short term basis, say a few months? That would give you some time to clear your heads to address the issue rationally. "Rationally" doesn't sound very romantic, but every successful relationship has to address practical issues.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Drifter View Post
    People are always saying that relationships are based on more than a single issue, which is true, but in this case the divide over ABDL behavior is the single biggest issue between the two of you, and probably will be for the entire time you are together. Compromise is mandatory for the relationship, but there is no guarantee that an acceptable compromise can be found. Start with the most stark, black and white compromise: She accepts you as a person with unusual desires but that you take care of those needs privately and don't involve her physically or verbally in any ABDL play. Could both of you accept such a compromise without guilt or resentment? Would you both be willing to try this arrangement on a short term basis, say a few months? That would give you some time to clear your heads to address the issue rationally. "Rationally" doesn't sound very romantic, but every successful relationship has to address practical issues.
    We had a short conversation this morning after a rough night.. Apparently, I don't remember but she said this happened, I woke up yelling "S**t and F**k. I don't recall any of it. It was a rough night, was just scared of what was going to happen. Yet we talked this morning and we talked it through. I have come to accept that I am ABDL and I'm proud to say it. She said now that I've gotten to this point we can finally label(for lack of words) it and now it will be easier for her to learn and understand more. In other words she isn't in limbo trying to figure out what it is that I'm looking for out of it. And if that might change. So right now I think it's better I just hope it stays that way!

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