I am ripping my mind apart over all this, because I have no idea what to do.
I don't know how many of you have read my recent blogs about my depression and the recent happenings where my friend suggested suicide to me and I almost acted on it.
I have defriended and blocked said person, I can most certainly say that I am indeed happier without her in my life. She I believe was the root cause of my depression. She was very supportive to me, but also could be very cruel and verbally and emotionally abusive.
I don't usually read to much into my dreams that I have at night and I'm not sure if anyone here thinks that there is more to them. But last night, my dream involved her, I was with her and I was happy.
I seriously don't know what to do, I feel like my subconscious is trying to tell me to make mends with her eventually. But I also fear falling back into the same situation again.
She can't admit that she suggested suicide to me, she is lying about it to everyone and saying that I took what she said out of context. I still very much care for her, I have a lot of good memories together. But I am struggling to find forgiveness for her actions even though I have a lot of people telling me I need to in order to heal.
I'm really not sure what I should do.