Spouses and Changing

My gf walked in on me last night while I was putting on a Abena M4. The door was closed and I was standing. She jumped a bit, but I kept going like it didn't phase me, and we started to talk while I finished 3 tapes. We crawled into bed and talked some more, and then spooned before falling asleep.

<Awesome!>


I have not asked her to participate and doesn't appear she is inclined, but at least she doesn't care about wearing (I have OAB-UI and it prevents a wet bed and pants), and maybe in time she will offer to help on her own terms.

giantguy99 said:

I got engaged recently and I have told my future wife if she's not comfortable with changing me that's alright. Basically while I would like her to help me change I told her specifically that she has to actually want to do that. I don't want her to feel like she has to and it is not a deal breaker for us. As of right now she does not want to which I will respect. I can't say it's hard on me but I definitely can't say it's been easy on me either. She has seen me in diapers most days and does not care otherwise.

Click to expand...

Sorry to say, one thing is acceptance from spouses that you wear diapers, another thing is "demanding / expecting" they help with changing diapers....what did you do before you met your wife? I think it's disrespectful to expect your SO to help change diapers on an adult who can do it him/her self.

NotTheAverageMan said:

Sorry to say, one thing is acceptance from spouses that you wear diapers, another thing is "demanding / expecting" they help with changing diapers....what did you do before you met your wife? I think it's disrespectful to expect your SO to help change diapers on an adult who can do it him/her self.

Click to expand...

Like I said before to her "Don't change me unless you want to". Basically I never got insistent on her helping me with changing though I told her I was tempted to be like that. I just have never acted upon that desire nor will I. Because she's clearly not comfortable with changing me for legitimate reasons (which I have repeatably said to her is alright). It's selfishness only when one acts on selfish thoughts. I chose willingly of my own free will to do the exact opposite of what my feelings want because I care to much about those around me. I almost hate myself (almost not quite) for even being able to have such thoughts (fortunately I realize I'm allowed to be human and not be perfect after all). Be advised I do manage my IC issues myself and both of us have accepted that I wear diapers to manage that condition. She's alright with the diapers in and of themselves. She seriously does not care about that at all. She just does not want to change me which I endorse. Sorry about the miscommunication there actually. I have higher functioning autism and it's hard for me to express my feelings usually. I don't process info the way a normal person does in social situations like this :smile:

I agree with you that I should change the diapers myself which is exactly what has been happening. I'm merely acknowledging that I have a desire that I refuse to indulge for various reasons. She has offered but I turned her down because I could tell she was not comfortable with that. :smile:

My wife has only changed me when I was in the hospital and or I couldn't do it myself at home. I wouldn't mind having someone change me, but if I am able to change myself, then I will do that. As for trying to hide my diapers from her, I don't do that, I am incontinent and have to wear. Since diapers are underwear and she has accepted that fact, I will wear just my diaper and shirt around the house like I did 'normal' underwear before I was incontinent. When I need to change, I go to the bedroom and change. Many a times she will come into the bedroom while I am changing and start/finish a conversation with me. I know, if I really needed her help she would help.

My wife sees me changing most days but doesn't help me but I know if I needed help which I don't she would without hesitation as she does this every day at work.

My wife allows me my privacy when I diaper up for bed to prevent wetting the bed. I don't hide my diapers from her they are in the dresser drawer. I take my wet nighttime diaper off without her seeing it and having to deal with it.. would she help me if I became unable to do it myself ..I am sure she would but would never expect her to do it just to do it. there would have to be a need for the help.

My girlfriend is super supportive as well, doesn't mind when I just walk around in a tshirt and a diaper before bed. Even though I always seek privacy to change, she once wanted to watch me, although I declined. Being recently incontinent I still think of what I'm doing as "naughty" even though it's now a medical necessity. I keep trying to think about how to bring her in, as she's casually mentioned a few times that she'd use the diaper samples I got that wouldn't fit me, but then other times is super dismissive of it. I'm not sure which side is the truth there, lol. She comes from a background where she's seen ABs at fetish events, and not the best examples, or in the best way - so it's a more delicate issue, and would be more of the distinction of AB vs DL I'd have to pitch, not as much introducing it as a concept.

ST50 said:

My wife sees me changing most days but doesn't help me but I know if I needed help which I don't she would without hesitation as she does this every day at work.

Click to expand...

Hi! Is your wife a nurse as well?

Before my wife passed away she would help only when I was physically unable, otherwise I always changed myself. Fit is important to avoid leaks, and neither my wife nor nurses could ever get as good a fit as myself, just saying.

I would love for my girlfriend to help with it eventually, but I don't want to force her or anything, and it's probably too soon in the relationship for her to be changing my nappies... Funnily enough, one of the first things she did after finding out about my incontinence was joke about how she could change me to practice for if we ever have kids... I wouldn't want her changing one of my messy nappies though, that would just be too unpleasant for her or anyone without the worlds biggest nosepeg...

My wife has changed me only when I am injured and on special occasions. Typically I change myself. We both laugh at the fact that when we are traveling she seems to always come in to the bedroom right when I am changing myself. We've dated for 18 years and been married for 13 so she has seen me changing my diaper many many times. I wish she would change me more often especially at the end of a hard day, but I don't want to push it on her.

I wear 24/7 and change myself. My wife knows all about my diapers, but I prefer to change in private as I still feel embarrassed