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Thread: Not sure what to title this.

  1. #1

    Default Not sure what to title this.

    I'm transgender, I'm sexually attracted to men, and cross dressing is a very sexual thing for me, same with my AB/DL side, I have no clue why, maybe its just the way my inner female expresses herself.

    All the times I try to ignore it, it just feels wrong to ignore it, I feel trans, I feel confused about my body, a part of me just wants to wear girl clothes, the other part is worried about judgement.

    Since, I'm moving out of my house soon as soon as I finish tafe, I am considering getting a sex change, getting girls clothes etc.

    I'm just wondering is cross dressing a sexual thing for some transgender people? I sometimes see the beauty of another pretty female, and picture myself wearing the same dress, yes, for some reason its very sexual for me, why is it?

    I feel drawn more towards female clothing than I ever do with male clothing, It just feels right, some days, I wouldn't mind just sitting in nothing but a diaper, and a cute pink fluffy dress, and a nice little hat with silver long hair, but that won't happen

    I do have some short shorts, and a bra I occasionally wear and sleep in, I must say, its a very awesome and beautiful experience that helps me express a part of me that is in denial.

    I also find myself sexually attracted to other transgender people who are "physically men" but female on the inside.

    Why do I feel so confused, but happy for understanding myself and letting myself express this part of me?

    God, I'm so confused.. about my sexuality and gender, this is a very emotional thing for me, I just don't know what to think of myself

    My little self, is a girl, my grown up self is female,

    Like, I know I'm trans, but I'm still confused, is this normal, why do I love men so much is it because I am female?? I sometimes wish I had a cute boyfriend lol.

    Sorry, I don't know what to title this, but I'm very confused about myself.

  2. #2


    Calm down, take a deep breath, and just say 'Screw it'. Go find a therapist. You aren't broken, confused, or anything like that, but will be a good first step on your journey of self-discovery and understanding. I can't speak for all of us, but for me, this is how I felt for a long time.

  3. #3


    It takes time to figures these things out, what you actually want in life, that sort. I can say for certain I've been where you are, and still am there for some things. The worst thing you can do is rush it. These things take time to work out, my recommendation is to find a therapist who specializes in this kind of stuff to help you work it out, it also helps to ask peers, people who you know won't judge you and aren't bias to help you figure it out. For me I found that, it was quite obvious to a lot of people around me that I wanted to be female for quite a long time but no one ever said anything to me.

    It's only natural to be confused and upset about some things, and regarding the orientation of liking male or female, I find myself more attracted to the idea of having a cute boyfriend myself, is that weird? No I don't think so, its human, normal, 100% okay to feel the way you're feeling. I'd recommend expressing your female side in private once you have your own place or a private area to do so and find out if you genuinely like the idea of being female, from there it might help clarify a few things for your journey of self discovery.

    And as for the sexual aspect of it, that's normal too I find. I've come to discover it's generally based around the idea of 'this is something that society generally says no to so its naughty and it turns me on' kind of thing. The real thing you have to ask yourself about that is: Is it really because it turns you on? Or is it that its naughty that it turns you on? After a while if its just the naughtiness of it, you'll find it becomes less and less arousing because it becomes more normal for you, on the other hand it could just be something that floats your boat, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

    Hope this helps in some form or another.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by mantlepython View Post
    I'm transgender, I'm sexually attracted to men, and cross dressing is a very sexual thing for me[...]
    3Rd time, is a charm... Say it with me... "coun-sel-ing" therapy... as said before (both posts above)...

    Why? No, not because you're crazy... but so-as you don't make yourself (and possibly others) crazy, worrying about these things...

    Why? Because you could really use a 'spotter', whilst you sort this all out (and, as said above... this doesn't happen overnight - getting this way or, sorting it out)...

    Why? Because it doesn't matter much what you get your rocks off about (whether they be inside of ya or out - so long as it causes no harm)... have some fun with that yet, don't make it your major...

    To expand a bit... it doesn't need be 'naughty' nor taboo... it really is quite a sensual thing to explore and find these new expressions and boundaries... even once the novelty has mostly subsided... even I in my age and experience, find myself quite pleased when I don the feminine attire...

    It's symbolic and tactile and, it's freedom from a number of impositions to the spirit... it's adventurous... it's like frolicking naked in a warm summer breeze...

    Whether you're a girl 'trapped' in a boy's body... or, you're any sort of a person, with a penis or a vagina (or anything in-between - pun intended)... I think that you should learn to be soft and strong... sensitive, smart, compassionate, protective, nurturing, read maps & be intuitive... cry sometimes, keep it together sometimes and, laugh often...

    Be safe, use some caution... but, this is not an all or nothing... and, this isn't really about anyone but you... so, do it your way (figure out what that is, as you go)...

    You've nothing to be ashamed of except, being ashamed of it...

    Don't force it nor, repress it... be the natural you!

    How would you cope if this was 50 to 60 years ago or, you are on a remote island... hormones and surgery are not an option... how would you still be you... what does it mean?

    Gender, is one thing... sexual attraction is yet another... physical anatomy another...

    We're with you,

  5. #5


    Thank you all for your support

  6. #6


    Something I am surprised no one seemed to mention is that ones sexual desires and being transgender are fairly separate from one another.

    I actually have had similar issues with the thought of me being attracted to women. which then made me question whether or not I was really transgender. Then of course I come back to my senses and remember that these things are separate.

    Everyone is different and is attracted to different things. It's pretty normal. So being sexually into cross dressing, there really isn't anything wrong with that and I am sure there are other transgender people into the same thing.

    Point being is, there are transgender people into women. There are some into men. There are some who are furs. Some are AB, DL, a cross between multiple things listed here. Some have foot fetishes, some maybe into BDSM. I think you get the point.

    Also, as others have said here, going to therapy is pretty important as a therapist will be able to go into much further depth about these things. Just make sure when you pick one, you take your time and really look into them, and their experience. You really want someone who is caring and deals with transgender people on a regular basis.

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