How to find a non-sexual babysitter for my baby girl

Hi all, it's Alex here.

My wife has been active in the AB/DL community for about six months, and I find interacting with her when she's in little space/regressed really unpleasant.

I don't really like babies to begin with, having to treat my wife like one is awful and I get instantly annoyed and grumpy at her.

So, we've been trying to find someone either online or in person who will baby her (a caregiver, I guess?), but every person (there have been about a handful) we've tried has ended up wanting to be sexual or actually feeling like they've fallen in love with her.

Obviously, this is hard on our relationship, and builds even more resentment on my end towards her need to be treated that way...

Is what we're looking for even out there or is everyone looking for a baby/romantic partner out of their baby/caregiver relationship?

Thanks for any input!

-Alex

I suspect many of us can relate to your dislike of babies!

Do you know anyone in the healthcare profession? If so, that might be a good place to start. You can have lunch or dinner and broach the idea of caregiving with them to see how they react.

Alternatively, think about your friends and find someone who's very maternal or has a good deal of 'real' childcare experience. The only real difference between babysitting a 'real' toddler and babysitting your wife is that everything is ... well, bigger.

Finding a female caregiver who's heterosexual and willing to care for an AB female shouldn't be particularly difficult. The real challenge involves finding straight females to care for a straight male!

Thanks so much for your response. I guess part of our problem is that neither of us is particularly comfortable with the idea of coming out with this to people in our real lives, so everyone who we've seen before was a stranger online. The idea of approaching a friend or even an acquaintance like a doctor about my wife's infantalism seems really scary.

I understand ... I wasn't suggesting you approach a doctor.

However, I would suggest you look for an LPN or CNA (or the Canadian equivalent thereof!) who has had experience with both 'real' children and adult care. There are a number of sites that allow you to search for adult sitters as well as babysitters and nanny-types; you can email candidates, explain your need, and follow up with the interested responses.

You will, of course, need to offer a per-hour payment to the sitter. My experience is that professional carers will see AB-sitting as 'easy money.' I know a number of ABs think they can find a 'free' sitter, but that's just not going to happen. The only 'free' alternative would be someone you already know.

Is this the case even for online roleplaying sort of babysitting/caregivers?

I've never done anything online, so I wouldn't know ... but I would not expect so. There's no travel expenses, etc., with online roleplaying, so I don't imagine an hourly charge would apply.

Find someone gay. Not bi, gay. Lol. That could seriously work. I've babysat many little girls.