Hey everyone, I haven't posted on adisc in a very long time and am usually a lurker, but I've been having some thoughts and feelings that I need advice on.
First a little backstory. I've been part of the furry fandom since around 2009 when I created my first FA account. Like here, I was a lurker and mainly just looked at art and read stories. This was all fine and dandy until I started to feel a bit lonely. I wanted to express my furry side and meet some fellow furs, make some good lifelong friends, and maybe one day get up the courage to go to a con. So October of 2014 I created a new FA account, this one with an actual sona and I began to chat with people. Now I have made a few friends, not any that are especially close but I've made headway. And while I still have problems meeting people or even knowing how to meet people I guess I'm still alright on that front.
Anyway, this year I started feeling a need to express my abdl side especially since I felt it was growing at an alarming rate and so I began trying to chat up some baby furs and see if I could make any friends and get some clarification on my own interests. One of these people, we'll call him "John" has been a real help although there are some issues. Mainly he's been pushing me to accept this part of myself, which isn't bad per say, but I get the feeling he wants me to become babyish and is not necessarily doing it for my sake. While I appreciate the help, the fact that I haven't accepted this and for some reason can't has been causing some issues.
1. I'm worried that "joining the baby side" will take me down a rabbit hole I can't climb out of. Since it's not technically a normal interest I'm worried accepting it will cause a degree of separation and making other furry friends, ones that aren't baby furs will be difficult or I'll feel too different or wrong. I won't be able to see myself as "normal" and I won't be able to interact with the normal people.
2. I mentioned this interest was growing a an alarming rate. It's honestly scaring me and I'm worried trying to explore it will cause it to take over my life and being an abdl will end up being at the forefront of who I am.
It's stressful and scary and I'm not sure how to approach these issues. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear some. Or if you need to ask any more questions to get a clearer picture that's fine as well. Thank you for reading this.