So I have a fetish for women wearing diapers.
Nothing new 'round these parts. Yeah, I can get off to the idea of myself wearing/using/regressing, but I mostly focus on the idea of a woman wearing/using/regressing.
But...it's starting to occur to me...I think maybe it's wrong/unfair to women to fantasize about them like this in my head.
In my fantasy, I'm controlling a whole other human being. By fantasizing about her regression (even if it's just an emotional regression, where she retains her mental faculties but just wants to act like a baby), I feel like I'm stripping a wonderful person of the traits that she would likely take pride in(her ambitions, her role in society, etc), and causing her existence to suddenly COMPLETELY revolve around and depend on me. Even if, in my fantasy, she and I are just ageplaying in the bedroom, the power dynamic has started to bug me more and more lately.
Yes, these are just fantasies, and I'd never ACTUALLY want to do this to a person (except maybe bedroom ageplay), but should I feed a part of me that finds joy in the subjugation of a fellow human being, even if that subjugation is imaginary and hypothetical?
And, honestly, it doesn't just stay some little fantasy that I can pull out and put away. For example, I dated a woman for a month, and she was SUPER-accepting of my abdl-ism. However, when I would start to say/do things that infantilized her, she would look at me and say, "Don't infantilize me." She seemed to feel demeaned or disrespected by it. And honestly, in a relationship where she expects to always be my partner, my equal, and never my subordinate, viewing her in an infantilizing way kind of WAS disrespectful, in my opinion.
Maybe if I didn't have this fetish, if the idea of her acting like a baby wasn't super-hot to me, I'd have had no problem always treating her like an equal. But sometimes, my sexual side wanted to see her on the floor, in a diaper, being passive and dependent and docile and playful and cute. But that just ISN'T HER. And it's just not healthy to want that from my partner, is it?
I mean, lately, when I look at women as a whole, at everything women have done and are capable of doing as 50% of the human race, I can't put them into that baby archetype without feeling guiltier than I used to.
So, what do you think? Is it demeaning to infantilize women? Why or why not? I'd especially love to hear the opinions of women. Ladies, if you're ABDL, how do you separate your submissive, babyish persona from your productive-member-of-society persona, and how do you expect to be treated in your idea of a healthy relationship? If you're not ABDL, how does the idea of a man turned on by the concept of you in a diaper, acting like a baby, make you feel?