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Thread: Forcing Diapers

  1. #1

    Default Forcing Diapers

    Hello guys and sorry in advance if this thread offends anybody, I was just unsure of a safe place to discuss this maturely.

    My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for over a year, over this past year she has revealed to me her extensive desire to be controlled. She is very into BDSM and all that entails that lifestyle.(Keep in mind I had never been a dominant or submissive before) But she enjoys me controlling her outside of the bedroom as well, she is just a very submissive person you could say. in this past year she has also found out about my ABDL side, I frequently wear diapers around her and even into the intimate part of the bedroom depending on what I have planned that night. She never volunteers to wear diapers but will happily do it if I ask her to.
    I'm not sure if any of you have what I would define as "hardcore" BDSM experience but I was considering taking it to an ABDL level.
    I was thinking next time I tie her up I make her wear a diaper and give her an enema.
    She has very little experience using diapers but loves when I make her lose control. My fear is that this INCREDIBLY LUCKY find of a girl (like seriously finding a girl into BDSM that wears diapers with me seems like a needle in a haystack) might not respond very well to it and this might ruin diapers for her eternally. (and I want a diapee wifey)
    I'm sure the first response you would have for me would be to talk to her about it, but she HATES when I talk to her about what I'm going to do with her as she doesn't want to know what's going to happen next.
    The most nervous part about all of this is that she insists that we do not have a safe-word.

    But what it all boils down to is that I feel like I want to force her to be a DL, which probably is impossible.

    Regardless of all of the material stated above, if I want a DL wife, and she isn't a DL, I should probably end things? My fear is that right now I am incredibly lucky and that I will never find another girl capable of accepting and even partially embracing my DL side. I just feel like Girl Diaper Lovers don't exist.

    Sorry for the unorganized tangents within the thread... This may seem like a rant but I'm really just looking for guidance.

    any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2


    I do hope that there is a bigger foundation to this relationship than what you have stated if you are considering marriage. Yes, sex is a big part of your relationship right now, but it may not always be (hard to believe at your age, but true). She is apparently co-dependent and from what you have stated you do not appear to be. This disparity could cause problems in the future IMO.


    Ideal co-dependents mutually feed off of each other (unhealthy, but there it is). If one in a relationship is not codependent, co-dependency can be very draining for him/her. The co-dependent is in constant need for reassurance because the co-dependent has low self-esteem and trusts no one. At first, this need can be its own reward (you may derive some self-worth by fulfilling it), but as time goes on and there is no change (as there will inevitably will not), it can get very old.
    Last edited by Kenn; 22-Nov-2015 at 20:51. Reason: Further elaboration...

  3. #3


    I don't see any problem with two consenting adults. I'm sure if they're things she wouldn't want to participate in, she would communicate that. Maybe you should start at a lower point of control, and gradually increase it to not be overwhelming to her.

    You've already gotten her into diapers, if you feel she's wearing them reluctantly, I wouldn't go as far as the enema.

    You've also got to communicate with her. Ask her what she's willing to try.

  4. #4


    I'm going the opposite direction. You say she's reluctantly into diapers but will do it if asked. Then you say she doesn't like to know what's going to happen next. I say tie her up diapered and try the enema. If you have a "safe" word when she sees the enema, she should use it. Otherwise, it's full speed ahead. Make sure you have plenty of cleanup supplies and maybe it will be the start of something new for your relationship.

    What disturbs me is you say you want a diapee wife and if she doesn't become one you should break up. As Kenn said, sex or diapers should not be the basis of your relationship. I wanted a blond haired Republican for a wife. I got the opposite but we have a very loving and caring relationship. That should be the foundation of your relationship. Also, you say you don't want to hear it, but communication is very important otherwise, one of these days, one of you will walk away.

    So go forth and try new things but be respective f each other's needs. Good luck and keep us posted as to her reaction.

  5. #5


    I don't know much about BDSM, but if she wants to be controlled and have you take the lead on things can't you "tell" her in the moment to pick a safe word. Make it an order? Maybe that doesn't work, but I would need to have one personally before I'd be comfortable doing that to anyone. I suppose even without a safe word, tell her exactly what you're doing and if she seems like she's not okay with it then stop.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by zipperless View Post
    I wanted a blond haired Republican for a wife.
    Honestly, who doesn't want that?!?

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by Walak View Post
    I'm sure the first response you would have for me would be to talk to her about it, but she HATES when I talk to her about what I'm going to do with her as she doesn't want to know what's going to happen next.
    The most nervous part about all of this is that she insists that we do not have a safe-word.
    It's true that asking "May I do this to you now?" immediately before everything you do in a BDSM scene can kill the mood. But going into a BDSM scene without any discussion of possibilities and limits is emotionally risky. Depending on what goes on, it can be legally risky as well.

    There are ways of communicating desires and limits that heighten the mood rather than killing it. Talking in advance of a scene is key. Sharing fantasies can be an exciting way of finding out what the other person is likely to like. (Remember, though, that some fantasies should stay in the realm of fantasy!)

  8. #8


    Like Kenn said, I hope your relationship with this person is founded on more than just the sexual side. I'm sure it isn't but it's worth the concern since you didn't bring it up, though given your question it does seem irrelevant. If she's a girl that's down to do what you say then do what you want I guess. I would however tell her, not ask her or offer it since she doesn't seem to want it, that she now has "a;lwjeoijslkdjfehldke" as a safe word, or whatever floats your boat. That way at the very least it would make you feel better and she'd be forced to have one so that would fit in with her lifestyle choice. If it all however backfires, it wasn't because of me. Hope the best for ya.

  9. #9


    Being a sub, a lot of the time it's not about what is being done, it's about the loss of control.
    If she is not opposed to diapers, then put her in them for a day or two.. Once out of scene, communicate and review. It's easy as a sub after the fact to say what was good and what was bad. Communication is key.
    You could also 'tell' her to write down some fantasy scenarios that you can review. That gives you some insight without having to talk through a scene.

    More specifically back to diapers, order her to beg you to force her to wear them.
    It gives her an opportunity to step out of the situation, but she can also follow the order, and at that point, you are doing what is asked.. It's a good mind f***, and if she is willing gets her closer to where you want to be.
    Just remember you both have needs and need to communicate them with each other.

  10. #10


    I think the larger problem is that you may be expecting this young woman to satisfy every single need on your part. Sad to say, that never happens, and people who honestly expect complete satisfaction are always disappointed in one or more aspects of their relationship.

    An infantilist wants to give up control. It's very hard to regress or "play baby" when your caregiver is always asking what you want to do next. In that regard, at least, I think being a sub and being an AB are very similar.

    Remember that most young women have a very pragmatic view of diapers ... they've likely had more babysitting and childcare experience, so they see them as devices that serve a purpose for children rather than as a fetish object. She's probably having a difficult time imagining herself 'enjoying' wearing and wetting a diaper. On some level, she may see (or enjoy thinking about) you as a baby or child instead of as an adult, which may be why she's so accepting of you wearing around her.

    To be specific, I'd put a diaper on her and see how she reacts. I would not give her an enema unless you know she wants to experience messy pants. And, as another poster has noted, I hope your relationship is built on something a little wider than your infantilism.

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