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Thread: Change of Perspective

  1. #1

    Default Change of Perspective

    I have been thinking about some things for quite some time. I am not sure how to dive into this, so bare with me. I am an older college student at a private university in Texas with a family, Veteran, and real world experience. I was recently sitting in on a lecture from a visiting professor that is from Kent State. he spoke on the topic of Feminism and equality among other things. He discussed how things still have not completely changed for the positive in the world (referred to homosexuality), and how there is still a fear from groups and individuals. It got me to thinking that although change is occurring, it is still not effective across all races, sexes, religions... I am a DL, if I had to classify myself, and I cannot help but think of how great our community/world would be if there was no judgement. I realize this is something that will never happen, but the ideas of the population, at least in the US, seem to becoming more open and free with new viewpoints and acceptance of differences. Listening to this Dr. speak was great because it really allowed me to open MY mind and think about what I can do to be more accepting of my own prejudices. If everyone could do so, this world would be a much happier place. Hopefully I haven't been too choppy, but this is raw.

    I cannot help but wonder when "our" turn will be, and in what form it will be displayed. Do "we" need an I am not trying to force any of my feelings or beliefs onto anyone else, but it sure would be great to have a population of folks that look at our difference like many currently look at gay marriage and the likes...with indifference and acceptance. There are a lot of folks out there, young and old, that are struggling to "come out" to a friend, parents, or a significant other, and acceptance is the key. I hope this makes some sense.

  2. #2


    There was a long thread about this a couple of weeks ago. In short, I suppose I can't fault people for wondering whether the growing acceptance of homosexuality heralds a larger trend of acceptance for all kinds of things, but I don't think it means much for us. I really think there's a threshold for prevalence, below which a certain thing will always be regarded as weird and creepy. In other words, until AB/DL is common enough that random non-AB/DLs are striking up conversations about it, talking about how their AB/DL friends are nice--if still a bit strange--people, etc., then we won't have the necessary "social critical mass" to go anywhere.

    And so, with that being nowhere in sight (as far as I can tell), I tend not to trouble myself with the idea all that often.

    Each of your family and friends probably knows a few gay people. In AB/DLs, it's probably just you. So winning acceptance, for the foreseeable future, likely means taking matters into your own hands, not waiting patiently for the accidental side-effects of somebody else's civil rights movement.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 17-Nov-2015 at 00:17.

  3. #3


    You also have to bear in mind that there is a fundamental distinction between equal rights for women, ethnic minorities, homosexuals, etc. and people who have particular sexual or quasi-sexual fetishes. Being a woman, or a member of an ethic minority is inherently public. You can’t hide your sex or ethnicity. Being homosexual is the same, to a lesser extent, since going around with, and demonstrating you affection for, the person you love is inherently public. Public acceptance is necessary, since you can't hide what you are without limiting yourself.

    The same is not true of a fetish – there’s no particularly good reason to express it in public, therefore no good reason for it to be acceptable in public. That isn't to say that there is any excuse for discrimination, more that it is an inherently private matter, and should remain private. The most you can reasonably expect is for society as a whole to not sit in judgement of people's private lives.

    The question is, what are you hoping for? I can envision a society where AB/DLs walk around openly wearing nappies, but it would necessarily be a society where gimps, bondage slaves and exhibitionists walk around openly as well. I really can't see that happening any time soon.

  4. #4


    As you pointed out, people in general will never fully accept each others differences, but I think that there is a lot of hope to be had. The internet is unlike anything that humanity has ever experienced before, and has really had a very short life so far. There are still transformations to human development that we can't predict, that could be on it's way. I think with the amount of information, stories, and mass education, there is a much better likelihood at stomping out persecution against groups than there ever has been.

    As for, "our time," personally, I would like there to be a day when we get "our time," and I wish it could be soon, but I doubt it would be.

    The reason I wish it could be soon, is if people understood and accepted AB/DL's in the general populous, it would make a number of things much easier:
    1. Teens could be less afraid of being discovered (my life would have been easier if this was the case).
    2. Teens could learn faster that they are not alone, and are not freaks (also would have helped).
    3. It would be a lot less frightening to change a diaper in a stall of a public rest room.
    4. It would make telling your special someone a lot easier because they are already aware of what it is.
    5. It could very well increase the market opportunities for AB/DL products, and we might actually see producers like pampers and huggies start making products for AB/DL's, similar to companies like Campbell's soup featuring a Gay parent household.

    Reasons why it probably won't happen soon, if ever:
    1. We are a much smaller community.
    2. Most AB/DL's generally want to stay out of the media/keep our lifestyle to ourselves.
    3. There isn't really a perfect spokesperson scenario at the moment, the closest popular person that was probably AB, was Miley Cyrus, and I don't think many of us want her to be the public figure. As for other public figures, there is always somebody who shows up on a TV show, that a bunch of AB/DL's have a problem with, because they are usually on the extreme side of AB/DL life.
    4. People have a hard time justifying gathering public acceptance of our lifestyle because in a large number of cases, it is considered a Kink, but this leaves out the number of people who have kept it simply a lifestyle, or more of a therapeutic activity. The funny thing about this though, is that there is a large amount of recognition and acceptance towards the BDSM community, which is entirely a kink. I do understand though that, for people who are AB/DL as a kink, that they wouldn't want to publicize their sexuality.
    5. We don't really have a constitutional right we are fighting for in all of this. Homosexuality became a big deal because of the battle over marriage, and because homosexuality was largely oppressed by tossing people into prison and psych wards for it in the past. We don't really have a history of oppression, mostly because we just don't have much interaction with the public. If there was somebody who got tossed into jail because they had diapers and stuffed animals and claimed to be AB, then we might have some headway in public acceptance, because we have something to fight for.

  5. #5


    I don't think it will be too long before the scientific community takes the nature side of the nature vs nurture debate, with a fairly high level of certainty. Sexual orientation will not be seen strictly in terms of hetero/homosexual division but more in terms of the entire range of known sexual preferences. Gender identity and sexual orientation (variety) will both be understood as uncontrollable acts of nature that are essentially permanent.

    When this becomes public knowledge there will no doubt be a portion of society that says "I don't care. It just ain't right and I don't like it", when it comes to sexual variety outside of plain heterosexuality. This would also apply to desires for unusual activities that are not related to sexuality.

    I think the best we can hope for is that being caught in public in a babyish diaper would be only slightly worse than the proverbial act of being caught with your pants down. Some laughter, some embarrassment, but no job loss or endless public flogging as long as you don't make a habit of public exposure. The same would apply if someone outted you.

    Romantic relationships for a person with strange desires will always be dicey, but with a better public understanding there should be less anxiety when it comes to telling a potential mate early in the relationship. The relationship might end but, otherwise, the consequences should be no worse than the ones mentioned above if you are outted.

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