Achieldan said:
I always see people referencing caretakers and the like in their signatures and on IRC, presumably other ADISC members.
If ADISC discourages "hooking up" and the like, how did you guys manage to get into that dynamic?
Well, first of all, the fact that some members have a "parent-child" or "sibling" relationship with each other doesn't mean that they have ever actually met in real life. It can just be an online thing. And crucially, even where people have met, it
isn't for the purpose of dating, let alone anything sexual - it's just an expression of friendship, especially the larger-scale meets.
ADISC isn't a dating site, but that doesn't mean that members cannot build relationships with each other via private messaging, or via IM or Skype. It's just that those relationships have to be built naturally as a result of members seeing that they have something in common (other than AB/DL/IC etc) through their posts, rather than forcing a relationship by publicly advertising for one. The point is that just because you can't come to ADISC with the
expectation of getting into some kind of relationship, doesn't mean that it won't happen, or that it's forbidden.
In addition, it tends to be more acceptable between established members who participate regularly, since they have proved that they are here for the conversation, rather than to find a mate.
You also have to remember that ADISC started out as a teen baby site, and the fundamental culture (PG-13), and some of the rules are, to a certain extent, a legacy of that time. For child protection reasons, meeting IRL was always strongly discouraged. That didn't mean it never happened, but the site
had to frown on it. It continues to be officially discouraged because a majority of the members, and certainly the staff, don't want ADISC to turn into just another creepy fetish dating website.
The final reason is that some members may have known each other in real life
before joining, and one member joined
because of the other. Off-hand, I think that's true of all the genuine AB/DL couples that I am aware of.