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Thread: Told Two Friends

  1. #1

    Default Told Two Friends

    So yesterday, I ended up telling a close friend of mine about this DL part. I had told another friend before but I still felt very secretive about it all the time, now only those two know about this. They ended up being very accepting of this, which was incredibly relieving. But even though they've been great, I'm still having an incredibly tough time coming to terms with this for myself. I'm not sure what to think of it anymore. I enjoy being a DL, but it's still difficult to accept being a DL. I even have a difficult time just saying the full word instead of the abbreviation

    I'd like to make sure that there aren't any misunderstandings on what it is with them (because I had shown a site instead of flat out talking about it). I have a few ideas on how to go about it but they're still a bit hazy.

  2. #2

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    Telling people is EXTREMELY nerve racking, but as long as you trust the people you told I think it's a good decision. I didn't even tell my wife until we had been married for a few years, which looking back I wish I had told her sooner. One thing I would say is I found it better to actually talk to her rather than have her do research online. Once they start to research it they are going to get lost in the vast internet and find things that don't apply to you. The only misunderstandings my wife had were things she saw online. The best advice I got (which was from ADISC) was to wait and not overwhelm my wife by talking to her too much about it, but at the same time don't wait weeks or months. If I'm being honest it took my wife a few months to be accepting of it, and she is still not 100% on board with it. If you decide to have them look as some websites I would list the ones that you feel are worth it and tell them that if the stray to other websites they will find a lot of things that simply don't apply to you. Hopefully this helped.

  3. #3

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    Thank you very much, that was tons of help! I think I know what I should do, I'll give it a try. Hopefully it'll be cleared up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baxton View Post
    Thank you very much, that was tons of help! I think I know what I should do, I'll give it a try. Hopefully it'll be cleared up.
    When I first read your post, I wondered why so many of our younger members want to tell other people about this, but on further reading, I realized why. It's all about finding acceptance, not so much by others, but rather, self acceptance. That's why a lot of young people who are gay, start that process. It's not easy realizing that you are different in some way from most of society. I had the double whammy when I was your age, being gay and being AB/DL and this was before the internet. Eventually I had to tell a psychiatrist.

    If telling others helps, so be it, but I would be careful because the general public misjudges us. More important is how you see yourself. I find that it takes time to achieve self acceptance, but it does come. Little by little, you will realize that this is a small but important part of your life. Still, in the big picture, it's small. To put it into perspective, I viewed a story on 60 minutes today about a young boy's fight to live with cancer. It was about Make-a-Wish. He was such a neat kid, but cancer won. If he can be as brave as he was, we can find ways to deal with Infantalism. You do it one day at a time.

    The important thing is to be a good person, someone who is kind and helpful to others. Then, diapers really don't matter at all.

  5. #5

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    Well you're braver than me. Certainly I would agree with the tell them rather than "let them get overwhelmed by the internet" approach.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    When I first read your post, I wondered why so many of our younger members want to tell other people about this, but on further reading, I realized why. It's all about finding acceptance, not so much by others, but rather, self acceptance. That's why a lot of young people who are gay, start that process. It's not easy realizing that you are different in some way from most of society. I had the double whammy when I was your age, being gay and being AB/DL and this was before the internet. Eventually I had to tell a psychiatrist.

    If telling others helps, so be it, but I would be careful because the general public misjudges us. More important is how you see yourself. I find that it takes time to achieve self acceptance, but it does come. Little by little, you will realize that this is a small but important part of your life. Still, in the big picture, it's small. To put it into perspective, I viewed a story on 60 minutes today about a young boy's fight to live with cancer. It was about Make-a-Wish. He was such a neat kid, but cancer won. If he can be as brave as he was, we can find ways to deal with Infantalism. You do it one day at a time.

    The important thing is to be a good person, someone who is kind and helpful to others. Then, diapers really don't matter at all.
    Thank you for the input, I always remind myself that there are others who have it worse than me, so I try not to feel bad for myself, so what you said about the young boy fighting cancer, I can only imagine on what he went through. I'll make sure to not let this side rule on how I view myself. Thank you again!



    Quote Originally Posted by MechanophilicFox View Post
    Well you're braver than me. Certainly I would agree with the tell them rather than "let them get overwhelmed by the internet" approach.
    Yeah, the internet does not really explain it that well. At least from some of the sites I've seen.



    Been a few days since, feel like if I don't bring it up soon, I won't ever say anything about it later. But giving some time between sounds good too, don't wanna seem pushy with it. So I'll probably give it a shot sometime this week.

  7. #7

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    Congratulations on what you did! I have done this with a couple of my friends recently and it was the scariest thing I have ever done. Also I am totally with you that even now I have a hard time saying Diaper Lover instead of DL. What I did find though is that coming out has made it a little easier for me to accept that im a diaper lover and for me to say it versus DL. Did you find this too?

  8. #8

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    Congratulations on taking that step and telling them, I'm glad that it went well for you and that they accepted it.
    I've told three of my closest friends about this, and they were all accepting of it, and it was definitely a relief that they did. It can certainly be a hard step to take, deciding to tell someone about something like this.

    I know what you mean though, I do still kind of have a hard time saying that I'm a diaper lover out loud.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Baxton View Post
    Yeah, the internet does not really explain it that well. At least from some of the sites I've seen.
    This one is pretty good:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover

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