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Thread: so I told my wife aswell.

  1. #1

    Default so I told my wife aswell.

    Hey all. I'm new here and this is my first post.
    I just told my wife a few months ago about my desires for diapers. It hasn't been easy. Some ups and downs but she is more or less ok with it. The hardest part for me might be to control myself about not to push it that much.
    She is "ok" that i wear them sometimes because they are handy at some moments since I have an hyperactive bladder. But she is still not that cool, whenever I wear them just for pleasure.
    I'm looking forward to hear more from all of you guys that are married and all your suggestions are more than welcome sent me messages If you want and add me aswell

  2. #2

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    Best of luck! Try to get her to lay out what her boundaries are and cooperate on establishing ground-rules (or at least solid guidelines) for the when's/where's/why's, etc. After that, stick to those rules! If she sees that you take her feelings, thoughts, and boundaries seriously and knows that you're willing to cooperate and make sacrifices, she may be more likely to loosen up her restrictions.

    Oftentimes (and this is not necessarily directed at you, couchesstevenboy), we DLs get so caught up in trying to get our partners to accept *our* needs and desires to engage in our "fetish" and lifestyle that we lose sight of *their* needs and desires as a non-ABDL oriented person.

    Good luck! Let us know how this progresses.

  3. #3

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    Good advise from gt2... I had to level with my wife when she discovered a diaper order I mad on Amazon. I was very thorough, explaining how and possibly why I felt the way I did, how I had always been attracted to wearing diapers. She was very understanding and accepting. Again, talking about it helps as does having a meeting of the minds as to when it's okay to wear and how. Since you are somewhat incontinent, I don't see it as big a problem as you may. Sometimes we weird our own selves out because we know it falls outside the social norms.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by tg4selfcheckout View Post
    Best of luck! Try to get her to lay out what her boundaries are and cooperate on establishing ground-rules (or at least solid guidelines) for the when's/where's/why's, etc. After that, stick to those rules! If she sees that you take her feelings, thoughts, and boundaries seriously and knows that you're willing to cooperate and make sacrifices, she may be more likely to loosen up her restrictions.

    Oftentimes (and this is not necessarily directed at you, couchesstevenboy), we DLs get so caught up in trying to get our partners to accept *our* needs and desires to engage in our "fetish" and lifestyle that we lose sight of *their* needs and desires as a non-ABDL oriented person.

    Good luck! Let us know how this progresses.
    Wow this is so true, thank you so much!! I'll try to keep my balance.
    This is so exciting and frightening at the same time.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    .
    Thank you for the advice.
    I kinda need/ wear diapers every once in a while to make it all easier. For example long rides or flights, concerts, whenever I will have a tough non stop day at work, etc.
    Every once in a while I need to take a special medicine calm my thoughts down ( I'm Adhd) so I wear one during that night cause the pill will relax me so well that I will wet the bed, so that gives me another excuse to wear one.

    So now she knows that I actually likes them since ever so that part she is still trying to understand.
    She does notice the huge smile on my face when I wear /wore one for fun so knows that makes me extra happy. But I wouldn't like for he to think that I'm not happy or that happy when I'm not wearing one.

    - - - Updated - - -

    By the way, we've been married for 2 years now. We're 27 years old

  5. #5

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    Hey couchesstevenboy.

    I'm another married DL. I told my wife, and it was one of the hardest (if not the hardest) thing I've done in my life. But I was at a point in my life where severe depression and anxiety were tearing me apart, and I knew that my DL side was part of that whole mess, and if I was going to try to get help, I needed to be able to talk about the DL side as well.

    That was something like 6 years ago or something. It has been a long road. My wife has been more than supportive, but it has been a process for her as well. The advice from tg4selfcheckout is excellent. Pay attention to her needs. Find a balance that works for both of you. This can work!

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by ornitorrinco View Post
    . Pay attention to her needs. Find a balance that works for both of you. This can work!
    Thank you so much!! I will.
    Also, should I force the subject or just let it mellow. I think I kinda force it sometimes but I think I shouldn't

  7. #7

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    I wouldn't force it. Let her get comfortable with it at her pace. This is going to sound crazy, but you might even agree that you'll have another discussion about it in 2 weeks to honestly assess how it is going and what your feelings are. That way you both know that there is a pending conversation, and there is a set time and place to continue discussing your feelings and reactions to the situation, as well as an opportunity to discuss any needed changes in boundaries or other topics worth discussing. Then repeat. Schedule out another time and have the conversation again. You want her to feel your sincerity. You want her to know that you really want to take into account her feelings and thoughts and desires. You're showing her that you are willing to manage this part of your relationship in a trust-centered way.

    Too often I think that we leave the "next conversation" to a mythical time and date, so any questions, issues, or frustrations build up to a breaking point before a conversation happens. If either of you end up in tears, you probably waited too long to have the discussion, IMHO.

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