That I'm not a failure for not having a GED, a license, or a job.
That I am good enough despite how my brain thinks.
That I can do just as good as anyone else who tries to do things that are diffciult.
That I am not all alone.
Forget all that... what I really want to say is this, maybe I don't need advice from ADISC afterall because I've been ignoring the advice I once gave myself when I was at the lowest point in my life. I can remember what I meant but not what I said it was something like this... "*insert my name here*, you can do this, you're better than the problems you are facing. I know you can barely stand right now but get up. Face your tyrant of fears, stand up for yourself and don't be bullied by your own head. I believe in you!" now it may seem crazy that I said that to myself or something like it, but I've realised I need to take my own advice, swallow the difficult pill and fight through the bitter aftertaste.
As a few have said here and as I've known for only a few years, I am my own worst enemy. I can sabatoge myself into thinking I don't need anyone, that I can do it alone, or even that I couldn't do it even if someone helped. From now on I've made the choice to stand up for myself, against myself. That being said, I mean the thoughts that surround my conscious mind. Ones of suicide, depressing thoughts, and self doubt as well as doubting others. Doubt can be a good thing, but this time... it's not. Like a bird, I trust the branch I'm perched on and it feels cozy and I want to stay here... but I need to take flight and soar... truly reach for the stars and push myself beyond the mediocre and pursue excellence.
There is only so much I can say... so much I can do... to properly explain myself and I feel like I'm getting better at doing that. I just know things are changing for the better and that I need to escape the narrow window of depression and get out to the open perspective of internal calm. The... eye of the storm so to speak. Once I reach that... only the storm on the outside can be seen but I am calm nontheless.
So from the very all of my heart, thank you ADISC members. All the advice wanted or unwanted.... thank you. I hope to remain a valuable addition to the site, and am able to contribute.