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Thread: Socially Weak

  1. #1

    Default Socially Weak

    I've been thinking, I haven't been good with other people. Other's emotions, actions, or even problems tend to go over my head. Something about dealing with others bothers me. Most people kind of bore me. Thankfully online I don't sound as cold as I do normally. I've thinking about dating. (Online more than likely) That being said I don't think I'll find anyone I could possible feel loved by. I lost hope awhile back, but I feel it coming back lately.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    I've been thinking, I haven't been good with other people. Other's emotions, actions, or even problems tend to go over my head. Something about dealing with others bothers me. Most people kind of bore me. Thankfully online I don't sound as cold as I do normally. I've thinking about dating. (Online more than likely) That being said I don't think I'll find anyone I could possible feel loved by. I lost hope awhile back, but I feel it coming back lately.
    Bolded the awesome part. That's incredible news, DBM. Really, it makes me happy to see you feeling better. And who knows, you might just find a person that makes you really feel special. Try it out, don't beat yourself up if there's a setback, and you'll find someone.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    I've been thinking, I haven't been good with other people. Other's emotions, actions, or even problems tend to go over my head. Something about dealing with others bothers me. Most people kind of bore me. Thankfully online I don't sound as cold as I do normally. I've thinking about dating. (Online more than likely) That being said I don't think I'll find anyone I could possible feel loved by. I lost hope awhile back, but I feel it coming back lately.
    I know what you mean with small talk and socializing. When I have to go socialize with various people, I either become intensely anxious or intensely bored. A few days ago I did this, and I was bored that time. I practically fell asleep. I realized though it can be the topics. Sometimes when I talk to this same group, I can have really awesome conversations. We have really great conversations about topics I'm into, like movies, books, TV shows we all like, philosophy, psychology, etc. I won't get bored at all. This past time everyone wanted to talk about stuff I am not into, like sports and like, daily life or whatever. It felt like my energy was being zapped away heh. I bet that kind of selfish of me, but I guess it's also a sign that we just need to try to find those common topics that everyone gets a kick out of.

    If you go try to date, those common topics are what you ought to be looking for. Something that you both enjoy. If you get into a relationship you're going to be talking to that person a LOT. So of course you want to find someone with lots of similar values, interests, etc. Usually the best relationships I've seen around me have been ones where people share a good bit in common, especially with values, but have a few things that differentiate them to keep things interesting. It also helps to practice. I was 'socially weak' for ages. I mean, it was so bad I was put into a class for social skills as a teen. I'm still learning social skills to this day, but I think I come across as only slightly awkward, and mostly normal. Even if you have some kind of spectrum disorder social skills can still be learned. It doesn't come as naturally, but you can learn it like any other skill or academic subject.

    You gotta get out there and practice though. Try chatting with store clerks. I did that to help learn and help overcome anxiety. It's a good trick to practice because you won't be there for very long and there's a natural cue to exit, when your stuff is done being rung up. If you think you seem 'cold' then practice that - unless seeming cold makes you happy, and then that's okay, too. Whatever works for you and helps you live the best life for yourself, that's probably the best answer. If you date online, you'll eventually chat on the phone or on Skype or something, and you'll want to present your true self. Ask yourself, would you date you (if you were whatever gender you liked)? If not, well, maybe it's not time to try to find a relationship. Also, I notice you said you don't think you could feel loved by someone. That sounds kind of one-sided. Are you just looking for validation and to be loved, or are you looking to share love, share yourself, with someone else?

    Well, best of luck to you. Hopefully you can find what you're looking for.

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