gotta give it all up.

She said she needed a husband not a child.

I'm not seeing how you wearing diapers, makes you a child. I don't like that she automatically went to that. I like to wear diapers, but that doesn't mean I'm not a great husband and father to my children. I still do "manly"things, while still liking to wear diapers. Sorry, this just struck a nerve I guess, but I don't think liking this, will or does make you less of a man.

Good luck

I agree, eagle1. I have accomplished a great deal in my life, as a husband, father, professional, citizen, etc. The fact that I like to wear diapers in the privacy of my own home while alone does not negate any of that, or make me a child.

But each of us must make our own decisions on how to live life, and I'm not going to judge Scales for how he and his wife deal with this issue. I do wish them luck, as it is not going to be an easy road.

* fiancée y'all. But thank you still fro the support.
She isn't controlling, she just seems concerned I care about it to much, and I suppose she wouldn't mind if I kept it my business but the point is to give it up for her.
Yes I am an AB as well. I am her man very often, but I guess she assumed when we had more freedom I'd want to be babied far more or diapered around our house very often.

I'm really guilty I fell into all our role playing and tender moments, now knowing she was probably uncomfortable with them. But it just means she loves me a lot right to join in that much, right?

Maxx said:

Subject to change without notice.

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This is exactly what I had in mind the last time I leaked.
In the morning I got up showered and off to work and didn't even notice that I leaked so much that the matress protector had a hard time coping with the flood. I was so groggy that I did not notice.
While at work my wife wrote that she changed the sheets because of noahs flood that must have washed over my side of the bed. I just responded with "????"
She wrote: "Don't worry, you know I am used to and can handle it now"
Please take notice of the last word in that sentence. Sometimes I don't understand that woman. Every time we talked she seemed so content and accepting but this message did quite unsettle me.

eagle1 said:

She said she needed a husband not a child.

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Thats what my wife said to me once BEFORE I disclosed my AB tendencies. She couldn't accept that I like myself hairless below my neck. Now that she knows, she's got no problem with it anymore. Maybe because she sees it as part of my personality. Which it clearly is.

So she's not even going to think about compremises? bringmesunshine

Every couple is different, and every couple needs to make their own agreements. That said, I think that for most couples involving one ABDL partner and one vanilla partner, it works best to have an agreement that is a compromise.

If the vanilla partner demands that the ABDL partner give up ABDL activities completely, often the ABDL partner feels resentment. Often the ABDL partner finds this an unlivable arrangement and goes behind the vanilla partner's back. If the vanilla partner then discovers what the ABDL partner has been doing, the vanilla partner feels betrayed.

It also usually doesn't work if the ABDL partner demands that the vanilla partner accommodate all of his or her ABDL desires. Often the vanilla partner pretends to be tolerant or enthusiastic but ends up feeling resentful about being pressured into activities he or she doesn't enjoy. Often the vanilla partner suddenly announces that the arrangement isn't working, and the ABDL is blindsided.

There is a lot of space in between. Asking the vanilla partner to tolerate some discreet, solo diaper time now and then isn't really asking very much, on the scale of possibilities. It can prevent resentment from building up.

I think my case is kinda rare, because I'm giving it up. I mean she said she would ask me to later down the line, but hey, I decided to just kinda toss it away for her. She didn't like it, and I decided to get rid of it. I'm the only one pressuring me in this situation.

I thought a relation is about give and take? Maybe it is time for you to take? Anyway, I foresee to see you back here soon with a lot of things changed, hope not in an unpleasant way…. Hard times, wish you the best. It is not wise to 'shut down' this fetish.

PaddedInPuyallup said:

but she wants me to keep wearing...just not around her.

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I'm in a similar situation - my wife tolerates it but doesn't want to see it. As much as I want to share my love for diapers with her, I believe it best to respect her wishes. So while our's is not the ideal situation, it's tolerable.

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jamiejamie said:

I think of this as sexually bondage and it's wrong. Be attracted to your wife, not diapers. Keep that in your mind.

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I am attracted to my wife, but I'm also attracted to diapers. May I offer a variation on your theme? Seek your satisfaction and gratification FIRST in your wife. I believe that in the long run, thinking positively about this will be more effective for you than just trying to be strong by "not being tempted" (a negative thought).

I also share your belief that this whole diaper thing can be sexual bondage, and I believe that I was in "bondage" because of my diapers. I also believe that through faith in Jesus Christ, I've been delivered from that bondage. So what does this look like? Well, I don't feel dominated by diapers, but despite this, my attraction to diapers remains (especially for the comfort and security they offer, but sometimes sexually too). Diapers represent a powerful and effective stress reduction tool for me. Like you, I've "stopped" for various periods of time but only to start again. So now I'm trying to integrate diaper wearing in a positive way that emphasizes the simple pleasure of wearing and wetting, plus my need for comfort, security, and stress reduction, in a way that is not focused on sexual gratification. I want to experience mutual gratification and satisfaction in my wife.

I don't mean to preach, and clearly I'm in no position to judge - just trying to work this thing through.

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Scales said:

My significant other has revealed to me she actually dislikes my AB/DL tendencies, and out of my love for her I'm giving it all up.

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Scales, best of luck! I sincerely hope that your significant other will appreciate your efforts and because of them, know that she is indeed loved!

PaddedInPuyallup said:

She was very accepting at first. Then the next day she lost it and cried and yelled and told me I was possessed by Satan for having these weird desires. Then out of the blue just about an hour ago, she sat me down and said after having time to process it, she has realized that it's something I like and comforts me and loves me enough to accept me with this quirk.

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That would worry me, for someone to have such wide swinging reactions, someone you've known for over a decade.

Whats that saying? If they mind they dont matter, if they matter they wont mind.

bambinod said:

That would worry me, for someone to have such wide swinging reactions, someone you've known for over a decade.

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How right you were. After I posted that, she went flipped and had a meltdown a few days later, then the next day accepted it again, but then the next day flipped out again. And that's where I am now. I have made a promise to give it up and I will try my best to do it.

To me, when an SO gives the ultimatum to stop wearing or the marriage/relationship will end, it is extremely selfish. AB/DL is not something we went searching for. We did not ASK to have a fascination with diapers. We just do! It is part of who we are! I think SO's should give us a chance, and prove to them that wearing diapers does not change us, it makes us better. I don't know about you, but I am always more relaxed and happy when diapered.

For those going through this, I would suggest talking about it with your SO, and find out what they REALLY think about it. Be bold, and ask them, "Would you rather I take up drugs and stay out all night?"

Note said:

And for some, it's something we choose to do and our interests grow from there. Like these people and many others like them.

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Maybe so, but for us who 'battle' with it and balancing our SOs wants and desires, i doubt its much of a choice. If it was a choice, giving it up should be easier, right?