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Thread: Question, Please Help.

  1. #1
    MichaelWeston

    Unhappy Question, Please Help.

    So, lately as of maybe a couple months.. I've feel like I've been wanting to be a woman more than a man (which I did when I was in my early teens but not for many years). At what point do I take my brain up on it and stop pushing it back into the dark crevice of my brain? What do I even do? I feel like doing anything would ruin my career.

  2. #2

    Default

    i wish i could offer sage advice, but i probably can't, as i have never had that feeling. i mean, even as a fairly unusual guy (as evidenced by my membership and contributions here), i have felt like being a girl precisely zero percent of my life. but i have wanted other things, so hopefully there is some kind of parallel.

    once you can manage it, go on vacation and enjoy yourself for two or three weeks the way you want to be. repeat if necessary. eventually, decide if it makes you happy enough to scramble your life up and implement "in real life" because it would make you better in the long run!

    for me, i like diapers and bedwetting, but it gets old/boring after a few days. so it never stays for long - a "pervcation" once in a while is enough ;-)

  3. #3

    Default

    What is you career, in generalized terms? I would suggest talking to a therapist if it bothers you enough, but really just to help you decide what it means. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be another gender, it just influences you differently depending on how much you are into the idea, it might just be that you enjoy cross dressing and being a sissy, or it might be that you have been pushing back the fact that you might be Transgender. In the end, you should probably figure out how too keep your passions happy without interfering with life too much, but it is important to be happy with who you really are in your own mind. I'd take some time to figure out what these feelings mean to you.

  4. #4
    MichaelWeston

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    What is you career, in generalized terms? I would suggest talking to a therapist if it bothers you enough, but really just to help you decide what it means. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be another gender, it just influences you differently depending on how much you are into the idea, it might just be that you enjoy cross dressing and being a sissy, or it might be that you have been pushing back the fact that you might be Transgender. In the end, you should probably figure out how too keep your passions happy without interfering with life too much, but it is important to be happy with who you really are in your own mind. I'd take some time to figure out what these feelings mean to you.
    I own a business and work in Law Enforcement. I have talked to my consoler about it, he seems to have the general consensus here. We are still working on it. It might be age showing or something, but for me it is odd cause I see a woman and I am like, wow she is hot, like a normal person. Then I think, I am meant to be like that, that thought becomes overwhelming. And those two things seem contradictory.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelWeston View Post
    I own a business and work in Law Enforcement. I have talked to my consoler about it, he seems to have the general consensus here. We are still working on it. It might be age showing or something, but for me it is odd cause I see a woman and I am like, wow she is hot, like a normal person. Then I think, I am meant to be like that, that thought becomes overwhelming. And those two things seem contradictory.
    Well, not all women are straight, it can still be logical for a transgender woman to be into other women. Maybe you are trans-lesbian? It is good that you are visiting with a Councillor about it though, just so you can have somebody in person to talk to about this and figure out what it means to you. Yeah, I could see how this would make things a little bit difficult in law enforcement, but mostly because I imagine that you would have to deal with a lot of stigmas. In all reality though, there really shouldn't be any protocols or laws that I would imagine you would be breaking by coming out as trans, although I am sure that there would be a bit of lash back out of that. They would probably pull you out of the field if you started to cross dress. Maybe that wouldn't happen though if you were to go through the full process and look legitimately like a woman if that is what you are shooting for. This is all my inexperienced speculation though, so take it for what it is.

  6. #6
    MichaelWeston

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    Well, not all women are straight, it can still be logical for a transgender woman to be into other women. Maybe you are trans-lesbian? It is good that you are visiting with a Councillor about it though, just so you can have somebody in person to talk to about this and figure out what it means to you. Yeah, I could see how this would make things a little bit difficult in law enforcement, but mostly because I imagine that you would have to deal with a lot of stigmas. In all reality though, there really shouldn't be any protocols or laws that I would imagine you would be breaking by coming out as trans, although I am sure that there would be a bit of lash back out of that. They would probably pull you out of the field if you started to cross dress. Maybe that wouldn't happen though if you were to go through the full process and look legitimately like a woman if that is what you are shooting for. This is all my inexperienced speculation though, so take it for what it is.
    It would be a hard process in more way than one, A. I am a very manly man (6'4, 210 Pounds), I work in LE and I have christian parents (There in there late 60s, not particularly adaptive). I will have to put thought into this, you guys have helped more than you'd imagine!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by MichaelWeston View Post
    It would be a hard process in more way than one, A. I am a very manly man (6'4, 210 Pounds), I work in LE and I have christian parents (There in there late 60s, not particularly adaptive). I will have to put thought into this, you guys have helped more than you'd imagine!
    Yeah, it is a lot to think about, I'd say to keep meeting with your Councillor and discuss what is going to make you happy, you know yourself best. Good luck.

  8. #8

    Default

    Have you warn girls clothing how dose it make you feel.
    There are so many that cross dress and that is as far as it goes there still man John wayne cross dressed in private. So many men are into panties under there clothing .
    So mabey this mite be an out let for you.
    Just a thought .

  9. #9

    Default

    Law enforcement sounds like an area where you need to be more cautious about this career wise. I agree with Tyger that if you eventually decide to make some changes, it would be easier to go either all the way (full 99%/100% passing trans woman) than some middle ground like a publicly outed cross-dresser. There are laws in place to protect trans people from work related discrimination, although reality is of course always a bit more complicated, and particuarly in the male-dominated industry like yours.

    That said, in private you can feel free to experiment in the middle ground, to find out what your particular needs are and where on the scale you end up. I also second foxkits' idea to first try some cross-dressing part time, in private (unless you haven't already done so), before taking any steps to out yourself in important places like work or family. You may realize that you are happy with casual part-time dressing and that you can feel both a man and a woman at different times or that just a little bit from the woman's identity (like wearing panties under your male clothes) is enough to satisfy your feelings without any harm to your career. Or you'll realize that you actually don't like it and continue living as a happy male. Or you'll realize that you want the girl part more and then there will be time to take steps to make that happen. In any case, I'd suggest to start small and continue from there if you feel like.

    Lastly, feeling like a girl or being a girl and liking girls are of course not at odds. Not at all. Some girls like girls.

  10. #10
    MichaelWeston

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by foxkits View Post
    Have you warn girls clothing how dose it make you feel.
    There are so many that cross dress and that is as far as it goes there still man John wayne cross dressed in private. So many men are into panties under there clothing .
    So mabey this mite be an out let for you.
    Just a thought .
    I can't say I have. Worth a try I suppose.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Avalanche View Post
    Law enforcement sounds like an area where you need to be more cautious about this career wise. I agree with Tyger that if you eventually decide to make some changes, it would be easier to go either all the way (full 99%/100% passing trans woman) than some middle ground like a publicly outed cross-dresser. There are laws in place to protect trans people from work related discrimination, although reality is of course always a bit more complicated, and particuarly in the male-dominated industry like yours.

    That said, in private you can feel free to experiment in the middle ground, to find out what your particular needs are and where on the scale you end up. I also second foxkits' idea to first try some cross-dressing part time, in private (unless you haven't already done so), before taking any steps to out yourself in important places like work or family. You may realize that you are happy with casual part-time dressing and that you can feel both a man and a woman at different times or that just a little bit from the woman's identity (like wearing panties under your male clothes) is enough to satisfy your feelings without any harm to your career. Or you'll realize that you actually don't like it and continue living as a happy male. Or you'll realize that you want the girl part more and then there will be time to take steps to make that happen. In any case, I'd suggest to start small and continue from there if you feel like.

    Lastly, feeling like a girl or being a girl and liking girls are of course not at odds. Not at all. Some girls like girls.
    Thanks for the advise. It'd be hard to go anywhere with this. I am a huge manly dude. 6'4", Beard and mustache, 210 Pounds. If there is a way to be manly I am that. I've been told I look like tom selleck.

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