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Thread: I make myself feel guilty all the time.

  1. #1

    Default I make myself feel guilty all the time.

    Hello Its me again, Things seem to be going wellish enough for me, right now, but still, my grandma seems to force college down my throat, Which I will admit isn't all bad, and has helped me out more times than I can count, but still she says my grades have suffered in college ever sence I joined this site, which her definition of suffered is C's when in previous semester's I get A's and B's, because apparently there's an additional refund, that will come in October, because of me staying so long, and I'm not saying her pushy behavior is all bad, It just gets stressful, when combined with my brother and school, It gets bad. Also I am working on my school stuff, and working on finding acceptance in me, and praying, but the stress feels like it builds up until it explodes, and it gets way too much, overall I'm tired of living at home with a grandmother who may be nice, and does care, but tries to change me too much, tired of living with a brother, who even with his meds and a cold, is still just as evil although in different ways, and tired of waiting about 8 month's for me to graduate from college, when I may not even get a job outside college, or an apartment, due to stictics, Tired of not beaing able to say what I think or getting misunderstood, due to my Austim, and it takes me a while to say what I think, and get all flustered. And I know I can't control my family and my life and that focusing on the bad is a bad idea, but when I get super stressed like when I'm in college, It honestly feels like that's all there is, and in addition to everything else, I just don't know how to handle this.

  2. #2


    All you can do is take one day at a time. Only you know if you're spending too much time on adisc or other sites. Getting C's isn't bad but B's are better should you want to work on your Master's, which I'm guessing you don't. Anyway, hold the course and study hard. Plan and prepare and the grades will come. Then the next challenge is getting a job in your field. That's another case of taking one day at a time. Things have a way of working out over time.

  3. #3

  4. #4


    I understand the struggle you are having right now. It does make it stressful when what you meant is not understood properly. Communicating takes practice. For me, it took a lot of extra practice and some helpful advice along the way. Part of verbal communication is the body language. Autism often means the body language is missing, hard to read, or does not match the words. I can deadpan a joke like no other. Learning to appear excited was difficult. Reading body language and facial expressions is something else entirely. Someday, I might learn it.

    There is no reason to feel guilty right now. You are doing the best you can with what you have. That is awesome. It is nice that your Grandmother is helping you get through college. Only 8 more months and that will be done. She wants what is best for you and statistics say completing college is better than not.

    I was tired of high school in 9th grade; that made the other three seem to take forever. A better way is to appreciate what you are learning and take the time to prepare for what comes next. You can start looking for work now. You can be drafting and editing your resume now. You can also spend more time studying and learning. That will leave less time to spend on guilt and worry.

    Have you considered asking for help with your Autism? Would a student counselor at the college be able to help you communicate better? Now may be an excellent time to learn more than just the required college credits.

    May God bless you and your prayers in the coming months.

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