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Thread: UPDATE: "I need some advice with telling my friend and girlfriend"

  1. #1

    Default UPDATE: "I need some advice with telling my friend and girlfriend"

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    Well, my thread was closed so I guess I have to make a new one to give an update. I have told my friend, though it took a her a few explanations to get it. She has been accepting and generally good about not prying. I got a new girlfriend. My new girlfriend is much better than my last. The unfortunate fact is that my last girlfriend turned out to be a lying shrew, though she hid it well for quite a while. I just told my new girlfriend tonight about my medical issue right before I had to leave to run errands. I guess I will see her reaction and the outcome of the situation, as well as learn if our relationship has a future, tomorrow.

  2. #2

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    First, I'm sorry that it didn't work out with your last girlfriend. As for your question, yes, I think when you're becoming serious with someone, they should know about things that will affect how the two of you interact. If you sleep together, she's going to know about your incontinence, so telling and explaining is something you will have to do. Most people have something that impacts on their health. When my wife and I were dating, she was upfront, telling me she was diabetic. That has turned out to be a very big thing in our lives, but I loved her and accepted that, knowing it would be a challenge for us later in life.

    I had lived an exclusively gay life all through college, and I was upfront with her about that. She accepted it and we worked through it, her giving birth to two children. We also adopted her nephew. Having something physically wrong with you like incontinence shouldn't be a deal breaker, and if it is, it's better to know that now, because she would be really shallow not to accept that, assuming she loves you.

  3. #3

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    Well, it went well. I told her and she is completely ok with it. She still loves me and accepts me.

  4. #4

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    Thats good news. I hope your first 'wearing' goes well.

  5. #5

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    awesome, congrats. Has she asked you many questions about it? Personally I kind of like it when people show interest with questions, but some don't I suppose.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyger View Post
    awesome, congrats. Has she asked you many questions about it? Personally I kind of like it when people show interest with questions, but some don't I suppose.
    No, she has not. Actually, It has not been mentioned since she said she is ok with it. I honestly prefer it not mentioned. I told her, she accepts it, end of story. I am not sure I would be ok with talking about it.

  7. #7

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    Before i was dating my partner i told him. He didn't say much at first. Mostly just sharing his kinks. Then a week later he actually brought it back up. He had time to do his own research, and had some good questions. So, maybe she just needs some time. I know you prefer not to get more questions, but maybe be prepared in case she does ask more. I was thrilled when he asked for more details, it showed he has a real interest or concern. If you ever pad up around her, my guess is she will ask some more. Maybe?

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by MisperceivedMelody View Post
    No, she has not. Actually, It has not been mentioned since she said she is ok with it. I honestly prefer it not mentioned. I told her, she accepts it, end of story. I am not sure I would be ok with talking about it.
    If you're comfortable and she's comfortable then I think that's really good. Enjoy spending time with each other and growing closer. If/when you want to discuss your incontinence further (like if it might affect going out somewhere, for example) don't be afraid to do so.

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