Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Advice about spouse

  1. #1

    Default Advice about spouse

    Im a DL with a non DL partner. We have known each other a long time. We were friends before we ever were a couple. I came out DL to him before we started our relationship. But, at that time my diaper urges were not like they are now. We have been together for a long time. He is cool with me wearing at home and every night. But, my desire for wearing daily (not sure if i need to 'use' them yet while out) is insatiable and on my mind whenever unpadded. It gets me really down in undies. He thinks it is embarrassing when i wear in public. He got mad once after we had been out all day. He patted my butt and noticed i was wearing (dry). It has to be a tab-style regular diaper, no mens depends will do. But, on a few occasions he has reluctantly let me wear out. I love the guy very much and he is pretty accepting about it. But, i need this and dont want to upset him either.

  2. #2


    I think this is something you need to discuss with him. By doing so, you will be better able to understand where he is comfortable with your wearing, and where he is not. He'll probably share with you as to why he has objections, and they might be quite valid. These sorts of problems usually get solved by conversation and compromising.

  3. #3


    Yep, compromising is essential for any topic in any relationship. That is what the whole concept of partnership is all about. He can't expect you to give up something that is so deeply rooted inside you, but you also can't expect him to accept you to go so much into the extreme that both your well being might be in danger. He might fear of the whole town making fun of you. Since your wearing is not for medical reason, its an avoidable situation. And that makes him upset. Just a wild guess.
    Talk to him.

  4. #4


    He does have valid objections. I too share the fear of being discovered etc. Other than that, his biggest concern is the pee smell or leaking. On the flip side, we do stay home a lot because i am diapered up, I know he likes to go out more than we do. Maybe need to propose a compromise I know I can live with, at least for now. How about he letting me wear (dry unless its an emergency) to places that I really need it, places that cause me stress seem to be my real issue? Traveling, large crowds, shopping, restaurants are the worst. Then avoid wearing at work and around my family events (at least for now)? I guess the 24/7 thoughts might be lesser with some more public wearing? I never asked him really about just intermittent wear, i went full throttle and told him I wanted 24/7 because of my lifelong ic desires. That may have been too much. Hopefully a little more public wear and he will relax a bit too as time goes. I did tell him i joined ADISC and of course he had questions but he understands my need to talk about this with others like me.

  5. #5


    I suspect there's something else going on in your head. I don't know what, other than to say it probably has more to do with you and less to do with your partner. His concerns about smell and public embarrassment are valid. If I were your partner, "Dry except for emergency" would sound like a bomb with a flaky timer, never knowing when or if. Hardly fair to him, even if he were DL himself.

    With most of us, when we get to indulge pretty much any time as you do, the novelty wears off and we end up not wearing as much. With you maybe its become a security blanket? Rather than trying to change your partner, perhaps you need to find a security totem that's more acceptable to your partner for public use? Remember that for many of us, being able to wear and use at home whenever would be a pretty sweet deal.

    P.S. No offense intended to those of you who are IC.... but most of you would rather not wet in public if you had the choice, right?

  6. #6


    I m sure he is scared of the "flakey timer". You are right, i would probably start using it for its purpose and lose his trust. A security item is very possible, expecially since wearing helps reduce my anxiety. Not sure what would be a good substitute for me. Diapers are the major focus for me and they seem more "off my mind" while padded. I am very grateful for his acceptance to this point expecially because i know many DLs are in a relationship with far less freedom.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    but most of you would rather not wet in public if you had the choice, right?
    ...Even as a DL, you are a boring and vanilla man, Maxx.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    ...Even as a DL, you are a boring and vanilla man, Maxx.
    Sorry to disappoint, Ash. I was so striving to live my life to please you.

  9. #9


    One thread I was complaining about odor, but that only poses a problem when they have been taken off. I don't know what brand you are wearing, but without leaks your spouse shouldn't worry too much about smell.
    I don't mind when it happens in public, nobody notices anyway. You kind of get used to it. When somebody WANTS to do that, I'd say go for it as long as they don't stick their wet bums into peoples face.

  10. #10


    I drink only water so my diaper isnt too stinky unless its full. Obviously, they are fully used at home. Which is what he bases that on. Sometimes when i move around the smell of pee and powder escape. But, in public it will be changed more frequently or not wet at all.

Similar Threads

  1. Spouse of DL
    By LBeckett745 in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-Sep-2015, 02:33
  2. Non accepting spouse
    By Dommy in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 16-Jul-2013, 13:06
  3. Telling my spouse
    By egor in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-Feb-2013, 12:36
  4. What does your spouse think of your DL/TB/AB side?
    By dlsc in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 25-Feb-2012, 23:46
  5. does your spouse let you wear?
    By crazymb in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 11-Sep-2011, 00:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.