Though, I have never been diagnosed with depression, and it runs in my family, I have come to the conclusion that I do indeed suffer from depression, the thoughts and the constant sadness isn't normal, waking up without any energy is not normal, feeling suicidal on a daily basis isn't normal, I hate feeling this way.
I feel like it won't ever get better, I'm thinking of seeing a doctor soon, I don't wish too because I'm ashamed to feel this way, I hate feeling this way, it's a terrible empty feeling.
Why the hell are my emotions tearing me apart, physically and emotionally.
Lately It has caused me physical pain, pulling muscles, chest pain, I feel terrible.
I feel like I'm the root for everyone issues, I hate being around people, I don't like being hurt emotionally by people who call me there friends.
Its sad how other people get everything handed to them, and get treated like geniuses, yet they steal my ideas, or steal ideas and code off the internet and clam it as there own.
If i wasn't as smart as I was, I would be happy, its hard for a intelligent person to be happy, happiness seems to be a illusion :'(
I feel like everyone hates me, I feel like I'm living in a hell, I cannot trust anyone. It makes me sad.
Lately I've felt like the world is spinning around me, I have no energy, I feel crap.