While trawling through the web the other night, I stumbled across this website <http://www.sexuality.org/authors/henkin/ls13.html>
and the article within was reasonably interesting discussing paraphilic infantilism, causes etc... then I came to a section which read thus;
"The clinically significant face of infantilism is what the psychoanalyst Wilhelm Stekel called psychosexual infantilism, which he regarded as a retreat from reality: a regressive psychic move toward a fantasy life whose goal is to become “the eternal infant” (Stekel 1952, p 85), helpless and irresponsible. As he describes their case histories, the psychosexual infantilists Stekel saw lived significantly disordered lives. Though chronological adults, most were severely, narcissistically dependent on what today we would call their co-dependent parents; they felt deeply inferior to other people; they felt depressed and out of control emotionally and were demonstrably out of control behaviorally; and they rarely derived erotic pleasure from their infantile activities, which more often concerned staying unemployed, isolated, and unencumbered in the parental home than with having a consenting adult sex partner feed them from a bottle, change their diapers, and lotion their genitals with arousal and/or orgasm as a likely goal or consequence."
this freaked me out a lot as I very much fit this description. My life is horribly disorganised, and as for a co-dependent relationship with a parent- I have moved back in with my mother twice since the age of 23 (although most recently due to illness, but still none the less dependent on her for a roof over my head, and minor financial assistance). I do have a cross between a superiority complex and an inferiority complex - depending on extrinsic factors. Im bipolar - so I do get depressed a lot, and obviously when manic or mixed, emotionally uncontrolled. I spent from the age of 17-25 without having a real job, and recently in the last 12 months cut my work down to almost nothing, while studying extremely "part" time. I burn almost all the friendships I have after a small amount of time, and generally prefer being quite isolated, and am living in my parental home. the bit about erotic pleasure probably only fits me about 50%.... but this disturbed me greatly that I fit a psychiatric description so closely....
Does anyone else feel this fits them? is this just a coincidence? Am I worried over nothing? Am I trying to make excuses for my behaviour??