Telling a therapist

Ok so my school has free consoling savable to anyone that wants to go and I was wondering if eventually I should tell them that I am an ABDL or not. And if i should tell them how should I.

Tell the counselor and report back to us what he/she recommends.

It is hard to come clean about this. But know that you're not the only one with the same issue! Be honest and forthright!

Do you want to see a counselor ONLY to talk about ABDL?

If not, why are you going to a counselor?

(You do not need to detail in this thread the answers if you do not want to.)

My advice: If you feel the counselor could understand your situation better by you telling him/her about your ABDL, then by all means, tell him/her. If not, I would (at the least) hold off telling him/her until such time that you feel it would add to the counselor's understanding of your problem.

School? As in high school? If so, that's a really bad idea. School counselors are not bound to confidentiality.

No college and I have other personal things that are bothering me that I need to get of my chest and when i say consoler I mean therapist

I have told mine and she was fantastic. It all depends on your relationship with him/her. I'm still finding out a lot about myself because of it. Talking out loud about it is also good as it helps you to accept it more. When I first started talking I couldn't even say "I like to wear nappies" out loud. I didn't know until I tried saying it that I was ashamed of myself. So we've been working on my shame. She gets me to read out things that make me feel a little uncomfortable to make me get used to talking about it.
Recently I've started wearing my nappy under my clothes to therapy. This is to help me feel more accepted and that, since she isn't judging me, I won't judge me as much.
She also encouraged me to wear for self-soothing when I was feeling anxious and had the opportunity.

The thing is, she's read a lot into my my life from this bit of information and lots of it has turned out to be true. It might not be a big issue for you but it can help inform the therapist about your other issues. For example, if you like pooing your nappy that can be an indicator of something that happened in your childhood.

All in all, tell her was a very important step for me. The way I did it was write her a letter and emailed it to her a few days before the session. Note, I go to a lot of sessions so this is a long term thing I'm working on. I'm not sure how it would work in the short term.

My hope is that you get a therapist who is knowledgeable concerning AB/DL. Mine knew about it, but wasn't that knowledgeable because he said I'd probably outgrow it. We all sort of know that it's not something you outgrow. But if you get someone who's understanding, you might be able to make some good headway. I'm guessing you're trying to understand this as it pertains to you, why we have these feelings, etc.

Im happy that your more accepting of yourself, I have experienced that odd moment when talking outloud about nappies. It tends to bring it to existance in a way that one reacts more intensely to than when we just think about it in our head. I havent had a need to mention ABDL to my docs but when i meet other dls and I start talking about brands we wear and such topics I get a bit more concious of my self and wow is it awesome to know it brings comfort to talk about it without being embarrased.

You might start with a licensed sex therapist, as I expect they would have more exposure to ABDL issues and clientele. My therapist doesn't know a lot about it, but that's not the main reason I'm in therapy. More important to me is a therapist you can talk to who you feel doesn't judge you and doesn't make you have a lower self image or self esteem. If you can't honestly talk to your therapist, then you need to find a new one, because it isn't worth the time, energy, emotional investment, and money unless you can be your true self.

Well I don't have any money so I am using what I have amiable here which is free here

Aidy said:

The way I did it was write her a letter and emailed it to her a few days before the session.

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I think this is a great idea. I went to a psychiatrist some years ago who knew nothing about this, didn't seem interested in learning anything about it, and simply assumed that it involved children. In fact, when I said I wasn't going to continue the sessions, he warned me to stay away from kids. I nearly punched the sick bastard. I sincerely hope no one else has ever had an experience as bad as that.

-RMS

littleabjames said:

Well I don't have any money so I am using what I have amiable here which is free here

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If you're using the free therapy available to you as a student, I think you should get to know the person and understand the relationship before going into too much detail. Go the first time and meet the person. Learn about his/her background, talk about your own background, bring up anything about college life that might be bothering you (you had the other thread about the roommate going through your drawers for Advil and maybe seeing diapers but not saying anything, so "how do I establish friendly boundaries with my roommate" is a great and very safe first topic).

If you meet a therapist that you're comfortable talking to, I think you could bring up diapers (if you even want to talk about them) after a couple sessions. Remember also that a therapist is looking to help you function better, so if you bring up diapers or other AB things as a topic you want to discuss, you should be clear from the start about your goals. Do you just want someone to confide in safely, but you're otherwise doing okay in life? Do you want advice for how to have a fetish and a romantic relationship with another person? Are you ABDL things making you feel like you're not getting out socializing enough or otherwise a bit isolated? I think if you explain to the therapist why you want to discuss the things you're discussing, you'll wind up with a very productive conversation.

I wonder why it is that you feel that you should discuss your sexual preferences and predilections with a counsellor? Looking at your profile it says that you are "AB, DL, BF, DF, Sissy / LG, Little". If you are in fact all of these (and please don't think I am judging you or criticising in any way, because I most certainly am not) then I suspect that your predilections are pretty deeply ingrained; and as Dogboy said in an earlier reply, these fetishes, as with many other unrelated ones, are simply not something one "outgrows".

I know from personal experience just how hard it is to give up a fetish, when I was younger, I tried more than once to give up my DL tendencies; the fact that I am here now posting an answer to your question shows just how successful these attempts were. I have long since come to terms with it, given up trying to overcome my ingrained desires and embraced them, and I am now much happier in myself as a result.

As others have said, unless the counsellor/therapist has in-depth knowledge of ABDL and related tendencies, then there is little point in talking to him/her, because they simply won't understand your problems.

Im not trying to get rid of my ABDL side that is the last thing I want to do but like I said I have a lot of personal problems that surround ABDL like my mom not acepting me for this I just want help on ideas on how to bring it up to the therapist

I brought it up with a therapist once that had specific training in addiction. He tried to give me alternative things to do in place of being a DL. It didn't do much for me. I thought the alternatives were lame and in the end being a DL didn't have a negative side. He was very open to talking about it and wanted to help. I had sought out a councilor to try to help me understand where wanting to wear a diaper was coming from. Did I have some repressed childhood memory? Anyway it was a good experience, but not extremely helpful.

Well these therapists are here so you can talk about anything that is in your life

Sorry. With my earlier comment I had forgotten that you were seeing a therapist at your school.

At my university there was a similar service. I went in for an intake interview, and based on my interview, they assigned me a therapist to visit with. Maybe your school will have something similar. If that is the case, then you can tell the person in your intake interview that you want to discuss issues related to interpersonal relationships as they relate to sexuality, and maybe you will get a therapist with some experience that might be able to help.

Hopefully there are multiple therapists at your school so that if things don't work out well with the first one you have the option to try another one.

ArchieRoni said:

If you're using the free therapy available to you as a student, I think you should get to know the person and understand the relationship before going into too much detail.

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I've seen quite a number of therapists over the past 10 years. This is generally the tack I take with them -- and the one I'd recommend to anyone else, especially if it's a situation like yours where it's free therapy through a school-type-clinic.

Fetishes are very private and personal matters...not everyone is worthy of entrusting with that part of your life. It's not that it has to be a deep dark secret; but like the color of your pee or the smell of your breath, it's just not information that should be available for general consumption.

Get to know him/her. Learn what their philosophy of treatment is, some of their life experiences and such... See how they react and relate to other issues in your life (we all have many hangups and things to work on besides how we relate to our fetishes) -- if he/she proves helpful in those areas, I'd tend to trust more and maybe get to the place where I'd tell.

there have been times for me with therapists that right away I knew I coudlnt' trust that person with this part of my life... And the professional relationship ended almost immediately. Because for me -- maybe like you -- If I can't trust them with that, then that throws into question how much I can trust them at all.

Ok, I'm rambling now. Anyways, just a shout out. I think ArchieRoni's got it right here. Take it slow and see if you've got chemistry and a good connection w/ this person before you spill the beans.

Are you only going to tell them about your ABDL side or do you have other issues as well? If you feel like that telling them about it would make you feel better then I would suggest you tell them. I think they have a policy where they won't tell anyone unless you want them to or it is life threatening. If you have other issues as well then I would suggest you incorporate the ABDL into it if it makes you feel better to talk about it