As of recent I've begun to realise how average I am. Never excelled in anything in my life, always being just above average when compared to a "normal" human, but never exceptional at anything. Going to uni now, but I'm behind schedule and this is only week one while giving it the best I can, stuck as a musician since forever (haven't made progress in three years), terrible at doing let's plays (yes, I did that. Don't judge), so many things I wanna start doing, but I just can't shake off the idea that I'll never be truly amazing or memorable. Just average.
I can't deal with that idea. I can't accept that I'll never be remembered for my abilities, even though I can do nothing to change my mediocrity. I'm in a mental prison I can't get out of. I'll forever be below what I want to be. It's very much a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be the person I want to be and it's killing me from the inside, especially when I see others doing things effortlessly. I want to be the best I can be and that does not seem to align with what I want out of life.
Anyone feeling the same? Or am I just being pretentious?