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Thread: Serious Post

  1. #1

    Default Serious Post

    I am 19 I have, no job, no car, no license, no high school diploma, no GED, not anything that would help me have a good life aside from my fiance. All I want to do is help people but I can't help myself no matter what I try. I will figure my life out, but I keep getting told I'm a failure, that I'm ungrateful, disrespectful, and that I'm in an endless spiral into nothingness... not exactly what I'd call postive or 'constructive'. Is it my fault that depression, social anxiety, and suicidal tendencies plague me? Not really, yet when I say that, I get told I'm just saying I'm a 'victim' or that I 'am asking for 'pity' when that couldn't be farther from the truth. I don't want pity, I don't even need respect, all I really want from life is love and to love. What am I supposed to do if all my motivation escapes me? Reward doesn't motivate me, punishment doesn't motivate me, nothing motivates me. I keep looking for answers and I find none. I just get told to "Just do it" or "Stop being a p*ssy and do it!" when I don't really know how to just do it. Ironically I have had people tell me stuff about growing up and not wearing diapers or being changed so I should grow up, regardless of the fact the person has no idea of my ABDL side.

  2. #2

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    I read your profile and remember your past posts. From this, I see that you are a Christian and attend Church. To me, these are good things in your life.

    A significant help for me has been my Bible. My favorite Psalm is 23. Read through the Psalms and you will find many stories of people struggling and God helping. David wrote in Psalm 40:2 of being pulled from a horrible pit, set on a solid rock, and directed in the way to go. King David was not ever literally known to have been in a pit, but he had some depressing times in his life where he was figuratively in a pit. The Psalms can provide comfort.

    The New Testament is where the directions for Christians are found. Reading Ephesians, Colosians, James, and Hebrews would be good initially. Most books are only 4-6 chapters and take less than 15 minutes to read. These books gave me more than comfort; they gave me meaningful and helpful directions to have a good life. After reading these 4, I would encourage you to read the rest of the New Testament. Each book has a special message with its own gems of helpful wisdom.

    I understand you are needing help right now. Have you gone to God in prayer and asked Him for help? He is faithful to answer me and King David. He will answer you just the same.


    I will pray for you and ask God to help you. May God bless you.

  3. #3

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    It's a shame there isn't a support group where you live that could help people such as yourself and others. For most of us, the formula is simple: first get an education and then get a job, but when the education part gets interrupted, the rest has a way of falling apart. If you can understand why you didn't finish your schooling, you might be able to overcome those reasons and get back on track. Getting the GED is not simple as standardized tests have upped the bar, but it is possible. Professional counseling might help as well. A lot of junior colleges have good services for career counseling, so you might look into that as well.

  4. #4

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    You need a goal. Something you want to do, or want to be good at. A GED would be a good start. Not that the knowledge encompassed by a GED is all that useful. The value lies in going through the process, learning how to learn, and learning how to overcome obstacles to a goal. Once you've done that, the process can be applied to the next thing on your list of things you want to accomplish. Oh yeah. You'll need a list. It'll change as you go, but you have to start somewhere.

    Like dogboy said, a phone call to the local junior college counseling office is in order. State unemployment offices often have counselors as well that can point you in useful directions.

    Even though you're out of school, a call to the guidance office at your old high school might be worth a try. They may not sit down with you, but they can give you names and numbers of state and county resources that can help you.

    Not all employers are the same, but when I saw GED, I saw someone who maybe made some mistakes but wanted it bad enough to get back up and try again. I also saw someone who was willing and able to learn things outside of a classroom. That's more important than the actual knowledge. Virtually every occupation requires you to learn new things that high school (or college...) didn't teach you.
    Last edited by Maxx; 08-Sep-2015 at 15:41.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremiah View Post
    I read your profile and remember your past posts. From this, I see that you are a Christian and attend Church. To me, these are good things in your life.

    A significant help for me has been my Bible. My favorite Psalm is 23. Read through the Psalms and you will find many stories of people struggling and God helping. David wrote in Psalm 40:2 of being pulled from a horrible pit, set on a solid rock, and directed in the way to go. King David was not ever literally known to have been in a pit, but he had some depressing times in his life where he was figuratively in a pit. The Psalms can provide comfort.

    The New Testament is where the directions for Christians are found. Reading Ephesians, Colosians, James, and Hebrews would be good initially. Most books are only 4-6 chapters and take less than 15 minutes to read. These books gave me more than comfort; they gave me meaningful and helpful directions to have a good life. After reading these 4, I would encourage you to read the rest of the New Testament. Each book has a special message with its own gems of helpful wisdom.

    I understand you are needing help right now. Have you gone to God in prayer and asked Him for help? He is faithful to answer me and King David. He will answer you just the same.


    I will pray for you and ask God to help you. May God bless you.
    Things I've noticed are improving, but still bad and I still am unmotivated. I know eventually I'll be okay, that God has a plan for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    It's a shame there isn't a support group where you live that could help people such as yourself and others. For most of us, the formula is simple: first get an education and then get a job, but when the education part gets interrupted, the rest has a way of falling apart. If you can understand why you didn't finish your schooling, you might be able to overcome those reasons and get back on track. Getting the GED is not simple as standardized tests have upped the bar, but it is possible. Professional counseling might help as well. A lot of junior colleges have good services for career counseling, so you might look into that as well.
    I am in conseling and have been for years. 15-18 and no at 19. I'm still in the evaluation process right now but my appointment which I think is today, should wrap that up and I can finally get into the talking about stuff part. The real cause I didn't graduate is because.... I was bullied so frequently through all my years of school. It depressed me, not to mention that depression runs on both sides of my family, so it was a bad mix. I literally got physically sick from all the bullying, like beyond faking it to get out of school to avoid bullies. From what I've heard depression weakens the immune response. I need intensive conseling both career wise and mental health wise for my depression.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    You need a goal. Something you want to do, or want to be good at. A GED would be a good start. Not that the knowledge encompassed by a GED is all that useful. The value lies in going through the process, learning how to learn, and learning how to overcome obstacles to a goal. Once you've done that, the process can be applied to the next thing on your list of things you want to accomplish. Oh yeah. You'll need a list. It'll change as you go, but you have to start somewhere.

    Like dogboy said, a phone call to the local junior college counseling office is in order. State unemployment offices often have counselors as well that can point you in useful directions.

    Even though you're out of school, a call to the guidance office at your old high school might be worth a try. They may not sit down with you, but they can give you names and numbers of state and county resources that can help you.

    Not all employers are the same, but when I saw GED, I saw someone who maybe made some mistakes but wanted it bad enough to get back up and try again. I also saw someone who was willing and able to learn things outside of a classroom. That's more important than the actual knowledge. Virtually every occupation requires you to learn new things that high school (or college...) didn't teach you.
    I have and have had goals. They never really helped me. It seems my motivation sparks randomly and I get really motivated to do something, then it just dissapears like it was never there. I really wanted to be a video game designer and computer animator... all of which takes a lot of skills AND a diploma from a high school or alternative program. I do not see my life going anywhere, but I guess I won't know unless I try.

  6. #6

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    You're probably not going to like this advice much, but it's given with the aim of helping you, not to try and be abrasive.

    If multiple people have said you're ungrateful and disrespectful then you probably need to honestly assess whether there's any truth in that. It's easy for all of us to wallow in an attitude of 'they're the problem, not me' but if those people do have some grounds on which to accuse you of showing those characteristics, then working on how you interact (regardless of whether you like the person) will increase your chance of getting a job, building better relationships and just generally being more productive.

    As for the lack of motivation, that's probably depression AND/OR a reflection of the fact you feel you're stuck in a rut, rather than an inherent characteristic. Either way, circumstance plays a part. Thankfully, you can (usually) change your circumstances. I had little motivation and drive when I was out of work, I had a lot more once I found a routine. Also, you're young. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 19 and I didn't have the focus and ambition I found once I knew what I wanted to do for a living (fashion writing).

  7. #7

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    I'm going to give you the same advice I just gave my 18 year old friend who things his life is over.

    Suck it up and get over it.

    You're 19, your young an you have every opportunity to get a GED and to fix your life. The only thing that's stopping you is you.

    It's hard I see it when you're a kid because at you're age every failing is the end of the world and every high point is the greatest thing ever but seriously if you want a better life, get your GED, get started and do something about it.

    At your age I was homeless, I was on the verge of suicide. No diploma, no drivers liscence and nowhere to go,

    Now I'm a manager at a local restersaunt, I have three published novels, my own home and lots of wonderful friends and all it took was me realizing that I could fix my problem if I stopped giving a shit and put my mind to it.

    So suck it up, get your GED and get your life started.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    I am in conseling and have been for years. 15-18 and no at 19. I'm still in the evaluation process right now but my appointment which I think is today, should wrap that up and I can finally get into the talking about stuff part. The real cause I didn't graduate is because.... I was bullied so frequently through all my years of school. It depressed me, not to mention that depression runs on both sides of my family, so it was a bad mix. I literally got physically sick from all the bullying, like beyond faking it to get out of school to avoid bullies. From what I've heard depression weakens the immune response. I need intensive conseling both career wise and mental health wise for my depression.
    I went through a lot of bullying when I was very young, mostly through grade school. It was very confusing to me as I was an only child, and adopted as well. I think I also gave off some sort of vibe because as I grew into early puberty, other boys would hit on me and suggest that I do certain sexual things. I understand how this can continue to play in the back of one's mind. I also suffered from depression and from what I can see, I think it's depression that is interfering with your motivation, not a lack of desire. I think if you can beat the depression, you can get back on your feet. Anyway, I do wish you well in all of this.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sanch View Post
    You're probably not going to like this advice much, but it's given with the aim of helping you, not to try and be abrasive.

    If multiple people have said you're ungrateful and disrespectful then you probably need to honestly assess whether there's any truth in that. It's easy for all of us to wallow in an attitude of 'they're the problem, not me' but if those people do have some grounds on which to accuse you of showing those characteristics, then working on how you interact (regardless of whether you like the person) will increase your chance of getting a job, building better relationships and just generally being more productive.

    As for the lack of motivation, that's probably depression AND/OR a reflection of the fact you feel you're stuck in a rut, rather than an inherent characteristic. Either way, circumstance plays a part. Thankfully, you can (usually) change your circumstances. I had little motivation and drive when I was out of work, I had a lot more once I found a routine. Also, you're young. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 19 and I didn't have the focus and ambition I found once I knew what I wanted to do for a living (fashion writing).
    It isn't multiple people, I am not wallowing in anything, and I really am trying to get better but the depression does kill my motivation no matter how bad I want something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny View Post
    I'm going to give you the same advice I just gave my 18 year old friend who things his life is over.

    Suck it up and get over it.

    You're 19, your young an you have every opportunity to get a GED and to fix your life. The only thing that's stopping you is you.

    It's hard I see it when you're a kid because at you're age every failing is the end of the world and every high point is the greatest thing ever but seriously if you want a better life, get your GED, get started and do something about it.

    At your age I was homeless, I was on the verge of suicide. No diploma, no drivers liscence and nowhere to go,

    Now I'm a manager at a local restersaunt, I have three published novels, my own home and lots of wonderful friends and all it took was me realizing that I could fix my problem if I stopped giving a shit and put my mind to it.

    So suck it up, get your GED and get your life started.
    Your advice was unhelpful completely. "Suck it up" I mean really... you don't think I haven't heard that a million times? I don't mean to come off as rude, but the older people get the more I think they forget what it means to be young. What is actually stopping me, is my depression. I have no self pity, in fact I really wish I wasn't depressed, I just cannot find an exit to this vicious cycle of try and fail. I don't think my life is over, I just don't see my life going anywhere ever. I get it, I'm young I couldn't possibly know anything about life... but I really don't see how telling me to suck it up changes anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I went through a lot of bullying when I was very young, mostly through grade school. It was very confusing to me as I was an only child, and adopted as well. I think I also gave off some sort of vibe because as I grew into early puberty, other boys would hit on me and suggest that I do certain sexual things. I understand how this can continue to play in the back of one's mind. I also suffered from depression and from what I can see, I think it's depression that is interfering with your motivation, not a lack of desire. I think if you can beat the depression, you can get back on your feet. Anyway, I do wish you well in all of this.
    Thank you

  10. #10

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    Without trying to be nasty, Premetheus, you've essentially asked for our advice and then discounted any constructive criticism and just agreed with the posts which sympathise with you. You're clearly having a tough time, and I empathise with that, but if you dismiss all the posts which suggest you change your attitudes or do something different, then I'm not sure you're looking for advice at all - but for validation.

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