"Solitary" Adult Baby Life (Realities)...

Many Adult Babies fantasize about regression and having an understanding, kind, and loving partner, but for many of us, this seems rather unrealistic.
Many potential life partners, whether Heterosexual or Homosexual recoil in disgust and horror when confronted with the prospect of a soul=mate being an Infantilist/Adult Baby.
The gut reaction is that we are seen as satanic and evil, for wanting to relive very early childhood.
"Grow Up!", is what is screamed at us when our "true" infantile selves are discovered, either by accident or through the potential partner digging through our belongings and finding stuff like adult diapers, adult-sized plastic pants, along with various plushies and baby toys.

The reality, is that many of us end-up living a life of solitude and loneliness, fearful of being discovered, and then being misunderstood and severely emotionally hurt by others.
Yes!
I am one of them.
I live a life of fear and shame that I simply want to be a little tiny baby again.
I have accepted and come to terms with my "Baby Side".
It took many years of being at war internally with myself, before acceptance came.
Yes!
I regress alone here in the safety of my small bedroom here at home.
In my "refuge", I feel free to be the little baby boy I have wanted to be.
I do not and would never bother anyone.
Here in my refuge from the world, I interact and play with my true friends, my dollies and my plushies.
I play with my baby toys.
I feel safe here.
I feel wanted here.
Lastly I feel loved.
Yes!
This is only temporary, since I do have a rich and rewarding adult life as a disability rights activist.
Anyway, I simply wanted to share my thoughts...

Yeah, I'm pretty alone in all of this as well. I've got some "diaper friends" but my interests are a bit different from theirs when it comes to diapers. Hopefully I can find someone that I can be intimate with, that'll be ok with the diapers. They don't have to be involved. I just don't want to hide it from them.

Even though the overall tone of this topic is sad, I feel you have hit upon some salient points. The simple fact is that most people will reject participating in this. My wife certainly will have nothing to do with it.

Being solitary, however, can have its benefits. I treasure alone time when I can get it, in any form. Since it is rare for me, I take advantage by doing the things that don't require participation by others. Watching movies, playing video games, and my favorite, sleeping in just my diapers. Combining my love for alone time and my desire to wear diapers works for me.

I say this as I prepare for 4 days of alone time next week. Since I am all, stocked up, I should be able to indulge quite thoroughly. Joy!

We all come at this from different angles or perspectives. My wife accepts me and sometimes calls me her little baby. But my wife is not healthy. I worry about her all the time, and my life is filled up with that worry. It's always a matter of what next is going to happen that impacts the both of us. It's no way to live. No one gets a free ride in this world, and we all must deal with the limitations that the mere act of living, creates. I find that I must look for and find some sort of joy in each passing day. There has to be something to look forward to, otherwise living becomes a very bleak prospect. I hope others on this site can do the same. There are worse things than not having a diaper partner, and I know you all understand that as well. It's the human condition.

caitianx said:

Many Adult Babies fantasize about regression and having an understanding, kind, and loving partner

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Very insignificant % can reach that.

As to my experience, to find comprensive and involved GF is something like mission imposible. More frecuent is when someone is reporting "I´ve GF who knows, but wanna not touch the stuff." I still think there're big mayority of ABDLs living alone. If it's lonely ? May be. I deal with that in way "I can go with every girl which I consider atractive, but I never reveal my strange vicious."

If I admit for a moment some kind of serious relation, so I´ve to be able to support stupidities of my GF and She´s to do the same with me. Terribly difficult.

I love myself and love my dl tendencies, when I meet my special someone just like my list gf, I'll be up front with her and either she'll stick around because it's me being me, or she will run for the hills and I still get to be me. Either way it's a win win.

I don't think it's all as gloomy as you made that sound, caitianx. I've had an AB carer in the past and no longer do - whilst I miss elements of it, there's still a lot of fun you can have as a little on your own. Playing with your toys, having a nap with your paci in or watching TV with your favourite plushie are all still lovely and relaxing.

Sure, those things are even more enjoyable when you have someone to share them with, but I didn't find the transition back from having a GF/carer to just being single to be unbearable.

As for the concept of us being solitary in terms of our ability to discuss ABDL with wider society, that's an issue for all of us - even those with a partner who tends to our Little needs, or ABDL friends you can hang out with in person.

With the wider world, we have to be discrete and not ruffle too many other people's feathers, to use the cliché.

I am actually at my happiest when regressed and in "Baby Mode".

I feel that personal safety is important.

Being seen as a terrible bad person is something I do not want to deal with.

Therefore, I just remain alone.

I feel fearful of ever hurting anyone else.

caitianx said:

With the wider world, we have to be discrete and not ruffle too many other people's feathers, to use the cliché.

I am actually at my happiest when regressed and in "Baby Mode".

I feel that personal safety is important.

Being seen as a terrible bad person is something I do not want to deal with.

Therefore, I just remain alone.

I feel fearful of ever hurting anyone else.

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I know you live with a lot of challenges. I think I speak for many here who can say we care and which things were better. The best I can suggest is to enjoy the things you can do.

dogboy said:

I know you live with a lot of challenges. I think I speak for many here who can say we care and which things were better. The best I can suggest is to enjoy the things you can do.

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Yes!
Today I indulged my little boy inner self by going to the Lancaster Fair in Lancaster, NH to see all the farm animals there.

caitianx said:

Yes!
Today I indulged my little boy inner self by going to the Lancaster Fair in Lancaster, NH to see all the farm animals there.

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Good for you. I would love to go to a fair. I love walking around in the country. In my case, I won't leave my wife alone for a lot of time, because I know how difficult life is for her. She can only walk a few steps with her prosthetic leg and his little energy. The places we go to are usually indoors and wheelchair accessible. So we look for places like that and it gives us an outing. You do that which you can do.

That's great. What animals did you see?

plasticsounds said:

That's great. What animals did you see?

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Girl cows and boy cows (without testicles).
Boy and girl Sheep and Goats
Girl pigs.
Lastly, boy and girl chickens.

Personally as a non DL and as some one who is more just a little than an actual AB, with no attachment to specific objects, and more just after the emotional content of a monogamous relationship with a partner with a strong caretaker/mommy role/image, I'd say there is basically no enjoyment of this stuff being solitary. It's pretty much all inseparable from feelings of unhealthy obsession, yearning, pain, self loathing etc etc.

To be brutally honest I feel like people that can satisfy all those feelings by buying a nappy and sleeping in it when they have the time and space to have it easy.