I feel like I have to release some steam, I haven't been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, though It runs in my family, I've self diagnosed myself, from how I feel all the time leads me to the fact that I have depression and anxiety, and this isn't one of those, Oh, I have anxiety I must be cool type of thing, the constant sadness and the panic attacks I have a swell as the constant worrying about random things that are so little, but effect me so much, one small thing is enough to make me feel suicidal and anxious for no reason even if its illogical.
The world around me feels like its sick, horrid, terrible, I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots who don't understand me, I have stupid people calling me stupid yet they don't realize how stupid they are, It seems like everyone around me is a self centered, themselves idiot, even if its fact, It must be wrong in there eyes, why are people so cruel?
I feel like I've lost touch of reality, I feel numb, empty, emotionless, I feel like this sadness will never end, I've felt like this for years, lately this sadness has felt a lot worse, I have no energy or motivation to do anything, and I even underestimate and self doubt myself.
I feel like everyone is out there to hurt me, and I cannot trust anyone, I think this might have something due to the bullying I went though at one point.
I learn and understand things faster than my peers, yet I get treated like an idiot.
What really bothers me is how come terrible people get all the respect and get treated well, there is this one person who is a manipulative horrible person, yet people feel sorry for him when he lies and says he has bipolar, He doesn't have bipolar he is just a douche, how does this person get more respect and get treated better than me.
I feel like I'm falling to pieces emotionally, I have no energy and just want to sleep all day.
I feel like my depression is caused by my intellect, I see the world in a different way to most people, and its really sad and depressing seeing it the way I see it, the world seems meaningless and pointless and we are just here, evil people get away with everything, get everything they want, while nice kind people get kicked out of society and treated as evil people.
There is so much on my mind, I just can't stop thinking or worrying about pointless things.
Is there anything that will help me, or cheer me up.
On the bright side, diapers help me cheer up a little, as it alters my mindset to a happy state, seems like diapers are the only thing that do ahaha.