This is just some reflections I have been thinking about and I finally felt that I had to share this.
As I get older, and more wiser, I think a lot about the whole community as a former baby and as someone who has taken to the daddy role, and I think a lot about how far I have come as a person since I gave up a lot of anger and hostility that used to run my life and I was not about to let AB run my life the way it has run some others lives.
I am not sure where I am in this as I move towards the four-year anniversary of when a lot of things changed in my life, I think about what has happened to me in the diaper community and where I have gone, and where I will go.
I wonder what will happen and I wonder how things will go and what I will find. I am not going to give up the lifestyle, just don't really wanna be a solo baby wondering if I'd ever find a mommy.
I gave up being a baby because the need for my diapers has faded. I used to have to wear diapers because of bladder issues, and I was able to retrain myself. I guess that had something to do with it. Bout the only babyish thing I do is still sleep with my blankie, and a whale I can't sleep without since my cancer scare in '99.
I also gave it up because of mommies coming and going in my life, and disappearing and not being honest with me. I could not take all that pain. You feel like you finally found something and it gets ripped from you and after it had happened you think have finally found the answer.
I think also about how much has changed for me since I got hurt bad in '04 by a baby girl here in Ohio, and how far I've come and what I have done. I think that my life, my AB lifestyle, and such have a purpose. I don't know what that is, but as time goes... I find more peace with who I am and what I have in my life.
It's like I've tried to tell some die-hard ABs I have run into through other sites, that there is more to life than just being a baby and sitting around in a diaper all the time. I admit I get a bit cynical with them, and critical but that's cause I find that there's more to who I am than my diapers, or whatnot.
I've been thinking about this for the past few months and I have been thinking about how things have changed so much and so fast and furious for me in the past four-five years since I got hurt bad by the AB girl I was daddy to. I think about what I have. I know there is a reason why I am a part of the lifestyle known as adult baby. I just don't know what it is yet.
For now, I'm just gonna be happy with who I am, and pass on what wisdom I can. Who knows what I will find out there in this community and I know that I am to the point in my when and if it comes, I am ready for it.