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Thread: Spouse of DL

  1. #1

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    Hello everyone, I am interested in learning more about AB/DL so if anyone has advice or links to helpful information I would really appreciate it. And bear with me because I've never heard of this before and am still trying to understand it.

    I got married a few months ago to a wonderful man, "E". We are very happy together, we have disagreements like any normal couple, but nothing major. Anyway, the other day I was cleaning out our closet, when I discovered a large stash of diapers..all different kinds. Some were plain white, others had little cutesy animals on them which really freaked me out. And they were large, made for an adult and not a child. I have never seen my husband wear them before so I knew they weren't for a medical reason. I really started to worry it meant he was a pedophile or something. I started looking around on google and that is how I discovered it's a fetish called diaper lover. Every website I found was adamant it had nothing to do with children, except for one Yahoo answer post which said her DL husband said the same thing, but then she caught him looking and pictures and videos of diapered babies online so now I'm unsure...

    For a few days I had trouble looking at him, he knew something was wrong but I told him I was just stressed out from work and not to worry about me. Finally one night I got the courage to ask him about it. He was mortified. He even started crying, he was so embarrassed. I told him how much I loved him and that I just wanted to understand this side of him that he never told me about.

    He didn't tell me much, I think because he is still so ashamed. He said he hates himself for this fetish, and he's tried to get rid of it but can't. He said he isn't interested in the AB lifestyle but just likes the diapers. He didn't go into detail about what exactly likes about them. My assumption is that maybe he goes to the bathroom in them? Masturbates in them? I really don't know. I don't know how he's hid it from me this long (we dated for 2 years before he proposed, but we didn't move in together until after we were married). I'm very hurt that he kept this secret from me, but I think I understand why because he is so embarrassed about it and wasn't sure how I would take it.

    I love him and accept that this is a part of him. But I don't feel comfortable participating. At the same time, I know he can't control this because of the nature of fetishes, and i don't want him to feel like he has to be ashamed or hide who he is. I am very conflicted. We have a wonderful sex life already, experimenting with some bondage (another fetish of his, not mine, but I do enjoy it) and I think this would be a turn-off for me. I don't want to see him as a child. I want him to be a man that takes care of me (and he does, I'm just worried this will change my perception). And I fear when we have a baby someday, that he will become aroused when changing its diaper.

    I think a large part of my anxiety is because he won't really talk to me about it, and I don't understand it, but I want to. Can somebody please help set me straight? I love E so much and I don't want this to come between us.

    Help!

    -L

  2. #2

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    Hi and welcome L

    It is always great to see spouses trying to understand their partners. I completely understand how hurt you must be feeling, but please know that he kept it a secret from you because he was so embarrassed, not because he doesn't love you enough to tell you. We hide these things for many years (I hid mine from my wife for over a decade). There are a few other spouses on here who can probably also offer you support. I have put a couple of links below to other threads discussing spouses:

    https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre.../85923-My-wife
    https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...-to-understand

    You should also check out http://understanding.infantilism.org/ There is a lot of good information on this site.

    Please know that DL's and AB's are not pedophiles (any more than the normal population I guess) and it is about being a child or liking diapers and not actually liking children sexually. It is about the object and the feelings. AB/DL's do not want to involve children in their activities.

    I have a very understanding wife who is not in any way interested in diapers and AB, but she does support me and sometimes baby me. I started off as just a DL, but now have discovered a more AB side to me where I like to be cuddled and treated like a baby. It does not mean that I do not look after my wife and kids any differently, it just means that I have a different side to my personality as well.As to having kids I can tell you from personal experience babies diapers are yucky and will not turn your husband on. It is like saying that because you like to dress up as a nurse you would find a child dressed as a nurse sexually attractive (I don't know if that makes sense, but I hope so)

    Anyway you came to the right place. This is a great support group and you can ask us any questions. Good luck and I hope you can get your head around this, it is not easy, but it has brought my wife and I even more closely together. All the best.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by LBeckett745 View Post
    He didn't tell me much, I think because he is still so ashamed. He said he hates himself for this fetish, and he's tried to get rid of it but can't. He said he isn't interested in the AB lifestyle but just likes the diapers. He didn't go into detail about what exactly likes about them. My assumption is that maybe he goes to the bathroom in them? Masturbates in them?
    Well, you've certainly come to the right place to find out about this odd little hobby. Looking around here, you'll find a wide spectrum of behaviours that fall under the ABDL aegis. It sounds like your husband is mostly on the DL side of the spectrum, meaning he is attracted to diapers as an object rather than babyish behaviors (I'm the same way).

    He almost certainly uses them occasionally for their intended purpose. Some prefer strictly #1, some like to do #2 as well, although I think they're in the minority because of the smell and cleanup involved. Its also likely that he masturbates in them occasionally. How does one become sexually involved with diapers? Nobody really knows for sure. Its been discussed here ad nauseum. In my case, I was attracted to diapers early on. Wearing a diaper to bed around age 12, friction accidentally resulted in my first-ever orgasm and ejactulation (scared the crap out of me - didn't realize what had happened at first). That may explain it for me, or maybe not.

    As best we can figure, this is totally unrelated to pedophilia, especially for the DL's among us. Its the diaper, not the child that is attractive. As for AB's among us, they want to BE babies, not fool around with them.

    I've had kids, and now have grandchildren ranging in age from toddler to college-age. I was never attracted to children "that way", and oddly enough, their diapers held no charm for me either. My youngest granddaughter is almost 2, and thus far I've managed to dodge changing her even once.





    I really don't know. I don't know how he's hid it from me this long (we dated for 2 years before he proposed, but we didn't move in together until after we were married). I'm very hurt that he kept this secret from me, but I think I understand why because he is so embarrassed about it and wasn't sure how I would take it.
    I've been married for more than 30 years, and my wife doesn't know about this. Early on (pre-internet), I assumed I was the only one on the planet with these desires, so I figured it would be too wierd to clue her in on it. I also figured it would pass. Wrong on both counts. As things are now, our schedules differ enough that I can indulge with her none the wiser. If we live long enough to both retire, perhaps I'll have to fess up. Alternately, one or both of us could end up incontinent and moot the point. I'll jump from that bridge when I come to it.



    I love him and accept that this is a part of him. But I don't feel comfortable participating. At the same time, I know he can't control this because of the nature of fetishes, and i don't want him to feel like he has to be ashamed or hide who he is. I am very conflicted. We have a wonderful sex life already, experimenting with some bondage (another fetish of his, not mine, but I do enjoy it) and I think this would be a turn-off for me. I don't want to see him as a child. I want him to be a man that takes care of me (and he does, I'm just worried this will change my perception).
    If he is true DL, he may not see himself as a baby. He just likes diapers. As for your participation, he may not want or need that as part of his fantasy. You'll have to ask him. For myself, its always been a solo pursuit, with no desire for anyone to play along. Even if my wife were aware, I don't think it would do anything for me to have her participate.



    And I fear when we have a baby someday, that he will become aroused when changing its diaper.
    Unlikely, for the same reasons that the vast majority of men don't molest their teenage daughters. There are some pretty strong built in inhibitions against that (except for the odd sociopath, of course.



    I think a large part of my anxiety is because he won't really talk to me about it, and I don't understand it, but I want to. Can somebody please help set me straight? I love E so much and I don't want this to come between us.

    Help!
    Time and patience. It helps that you're not prejudging. In the meantime, a stroll around here can be enlightening.

    P.S. When do men ever talk about feelings? Rarely if ever. This isn't any different.

    Edit: Some other random thoughts that may be helpful:

    1. How much? How often? Assuming you play along, as opposed to tossing him out on his ear, there will be an initial rush of excitement when it will seem he's always diapered. Then it will settle out to some kind of normal level. For me, once or twice a week is probably average. I'm pretty sure it would be about the same even if my wife were aware and approving. When she's gone out of town for extended periods, that's what it settled down to. That's plenty to satisfy me, and there's too much real life happening for me to do it much more than that. Unless E has other mental problems as well, I wouldn't expect this to take over his life. Of course you can expect to have a say in how much time and money he devotes to the hobby, same as if it were golf or model railroading.

    2. But the kids. I keep thinking about the kids. Sample size of one, when my kids were around, there were a lot of long dry spells. No time, no privacy. Work, kids sports, family obligations. With apologies to the incontinents here, I'm not going to wrestling or gymnastics meets diapered. There were a few years where the only chance I had to indulge was in hotel rooms on business trips. The wife knowing about it wouldn't have changed that much.

    Longest recent dry spell was a dozen years ago when the daughter came to live with us, bringing along two kids, husband, and giant dog. There was no place or time sufficiently secure to wear or even stash diapers in this small house. Didn't get much regular sex either. Would that have been different if my wife knew and approved? Unlikely. Neither of us is kinky enough to do that around the kids.

    3. Yeah, what about regular sex? Again, sample size of one, I'll take sex over diapers any night of the week. If you can find a way for them to happen at the same time, even better, but that's between you and E. The thing about fantasies is, they're individual. E and I share a diaper fantasy, but beyond that, I'm sure the inside of his head is a lot different than mine. I'm just throwing this stuff out to give you ideas about what he MIGHT be thinking. I'm pretty sure its been mentioned, but perhaps you ought to take this as an opportunity to let your own freak show a little bit. Isn't there something kinky that's been wandering around in your head? If you can do this for him, maybe there are some other things he can do for you....
    Last edited by Maxx; 26-Aug-2015 at 13:46.

  4. #4

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    Hey, L.

    I hid my DL side from my wife for several years, and it was awful. I hated my DL side, and I hated myself, and I got to the point where I wanted to end my life because of how awful it was. I decided I'd rather be dead than tell her, and that by killing myself I would be doing her a favor because she deserved better than me. At that low point, I decided to get help, but still didn't tell my wife or the doc about the DL. He thought I had manic depression and gave me medicine. The medicine didn't work, and we made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. Then night before we went to the psychiatrist I broke down and told my wife about my DL side. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the help I needed unless I was honest with the doctor, and I needed to be honest with her first.

    Let me also say that I married "up". After I met my wife, I remember wishing I could find somebody kind of like that to date and marry. I knew she was out of my league, so my best hope was to find somebody who had some of her traits. Telling this person that I respected and loved with all my soul about my DL side was, bar none, the hardest thing I've done, and in the end, I only did it because for me it was either stop living, or tell her about it.

    I share this to tell you that I sympathize with your husband. If I can extrapolate from my own experience, his not telling you is not because he doesn't love you, or because he loves the diapers more than you, or because he wanted to keep it a secret from you -- at least that wasn't me, when I was in his shoes. I was afraid of losing the best part of my life, my wife. I was so certain that she wouldn't love me, that she would reject me, and that she would condemn me. Looking back on it with five or six year's distance, I can tell you that I underestimated her, and I underestimated her love for me. But what I felt was real, and it was painful, and it was terrifying.

    Now, let me say that "E" is the man you knew and loved before you found out about his DL side. Everything you love about him is still part of him. He is not his obsession. He has a side of him that is, to put it mildly, different. My wife still thinks that my DL is weird. She doesn't get it. I don't ever expect her to understand what happens internally to me that makes me DL. It just isn't in her wiring. But she is okay with that, because she loves and accepts me. All of me. All my perfect imperfections, to quote John Legend.

    We don't include DL in our sex life. It isn't a turn on for her, and she isn't interested in including it. Every DL is unique, but for me I wear a diaper almost every night and I wear a diaper often during the day. If I'm wearing a diaper when she is interested in being intimate, she takes it off like she would take off other clothing. If I've been wet, I go take a quick shower.

    In terms of masturbation in the diaper, that is pretty common for DLs. There is usually a sexual component for a DL (as opposed to many ABs for whom there may or may not be a sexual component), but it is to the diaper itself. It has nothing to do with children. For me, the diaper is a comfort object. It helps reduce my stress and anxiety. I can't explain why, but it has been for as long as I remember. (My first memory is of being 4 years old and putting on a diaper, so it has been there my whole life.)

    I recognize that this is strange and new to you. My wife and I are working through the challenges and are getting to a comfortable place. It is a journey you and E get to do together to find a balance that works for both of you.

    Let me now address another item you brought up: having kids. I have five kids. My oldest is not quite 9 and my youngest is just over a year. We've been dealing with kids' diapers now for nine years straight. I can't speak for others, but I can definitively speak for myself: the kids diapers don't do anything for me. I am not aroused in any way. If anything changing the kids diaper is a turn off. So, it does not necessarily follow (and from those I've met, I'd say it is actually quite unlikely) that changing a baby diaper will have any effect on your husband.

    What advice do I have for you? First, talk to him. Tell him what you told us: that you love him and that you accept this part of him. Right now he is likely feeling exceptionally vulnerable. You will probably have to tell him this several times over a long period of time to help him believe that he is worth your love. So keep telling him.

    If you have concerns or questions, please be honest about them and bring them up so you can talk about them. This will show him that you (1) really are accepting and (2) that you are being honest about your feelings. This makes the sincere love you are expressing in the first step more believable, and will allow you to open up an avenue of dialog about the subject.

    Talk about what you are comfortable with and what you are uncomfortable with. My wife knows that part of what helps with the anxiety is masturbating or urinating in the diaper. We've talked about it, and she is okay with it because she understands that it is something that is helping me deal with my anxiety and problems. We have discussed that it is important to both of us that I don't use the diaper as my primary sexual outlet, so she said that as long as we are making time to be intimate and building our relationship together she is okay with the masturbation part. I don't masturbate in front of her. In short, we have discussed the terms that we are okay with and we make it work in a way that addresses her concerns as well as meeting my innate needs.

    Finally, if you sense any mental health issues, don't be afraid to address them, even though they are a totally separate, though possibly related issue. My depression and anxiety are real issues I still deal with on a daily basis. I am taking medicine to help with those issues. They were exacerbated by the DL side of me, but resolving them has not cured me. I am coming to realize that I will always have a DL side, and I can't believe I've found somebody who will take me as I come and will love all of me.

    The last thing I'll say for now is that this group, ADISC, can be a great group for both of you. This is a support group with a bunch of people in a similar situation. Let us help you and your husband. I'm pretty new here, but I joined because I wanted to be able to get that kind of help from people who understand me and understand that while I didn't pick my issues, I'm still a good person regardless of those issues, and that those issues are part of what has made me who I am today. So welcome to the community. Invite your husband to join us as well. We can work through this together!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by ornitorrinco View Post
    Hey, L.

    I hid my DL side from my wife for several years, and it was awful. I hated my DL side, and I hated myself, and I got to the point where I wanted to end my life because of how awful it was. I decided I'd rather be dead than tell her, and that by killing myself I would be doing her a favor because she deserved better than me. At that low point, I decided to get help, but still didn't tell my wife or the doc about the DL. He thought I had manic depression and gave me medicine. The medicine didn't work, and we made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. Then night before we went to the psychiatrist I broke down and told my wife about my DL side. I knew I wouldn't be able to get the help I needed unless I was honest with the doctor, and I needed to be honest with her first.

    Let me also say that I married "up". After I met my wife, I remember wishing I could find somebody kind of like that to date and marry. I knew she was out of my league, so my best hope was to find somebody who had some of her traits. Telling this person that I respected and loved with all my soul about my DL side was, bar none, the hardest thing I've done, and in the end, I only did it because for me it was either stop living, or tell her about it.

    I share this to tell you that I sympathize with your husband. If I can extrapolate from my own experience, his not telling you is not because he doesn't love you, or because he loves the diapers more than you, or because he wanted to keep it a secret from you -- at least that wasn't me, when I was in his shoes. I was afraid of losing the best part of my life, my wife. I was so certain that she wouldn't love me, that she would reject me, and that she would condemn me. Looking back on it with five or six year's distance, I can tell you that I underestimated her, and I underestimated her love for me. But what I felt was real, and it was painful, and it was terrifying.

    Now, let me say that "E" is the man you knew and loved before you found out about his DL side. Everything you love about him is still part of him. He is not his obsession. He has a side of him that is, to put it mildly, different. My wife still thinks that my DL is weird. She doesn't get it. I don't ever expect her to understand what happens internally to me that makes me DL. It just isn't in her wiring. But she is okay with that, because she loves and accepts me. All of me. All my perfect imperfections, to quote John Legend.

    We don't include DL in our sex life. It isn't a turn on for her, and she isn't interested in including it. Every DL is unique, but for me I wear a diaper almost every night and I wear a diaper often during the day. If I'm wearing a diaper when she is interested in being intimate, she takes it off like she would take off other clothing. If I've been wet, I go take a quick shower.

    In terms of masturbation in the diaper, that is pretty common for DLs. There is usually a sexual component for a DL (as opposed to many ABs for whom there may or may not be a sexual component), but it is to the diaper itself. It has nothing to do with children. For me, the diaper is a comfort object. It helps reduce my stress and anxiety. I can't explain why, but it has been for as long as I remember. (My first memory is of being 4 years old and putting on a diaper, so it has been there my whole life.)

    I recognize that this is strange and new to you. My wife and I are working through the challenges and are getting to a comfortable place. It is a journey you and E get to do together to find a balance that works for both of you.

    Let me now address another item you brought up: having kids. I have five kids. My oldest is not quite 9 and my youngest is just over a year. We've been dealing with kids' diapers now for nine years straight. I can't speak for others, but I can definitively speak for myself: the kids diapers don't do anything for me. I am not aroused in any way. If anything changing the kids diaper is a turn off. So, it does not necessarily follow (and from those I've met, I'd say it is actually quite unlikely) that changing a baby diaper will have any effect on your husband.

    What advice do I have for you? First, talk to him. Tell him what you told us: that you love him and that you accept this part of him. Right now he is likely feeling exceptionally vulnerable. You will probably have to tell him this several times over a long period of time to help him believe that he is worth your love. So keep telling him.

    If you have concerns or questions, please be honest about them and bring them up so you can talk about them. This will show him that you (1) really are accepting and (2) that you are being honest about your feelings. This makes the sincere love you are expressing in the first step more believable, and will allow you to open up an avenue of dialog about the subject.

    Talk about what you are comfortable with and what you are uncomfortable with. My wife knows that part of what helps with the anxiety is masturbating or urinating in the diaper. We've talked about it, and she is okay with it because she understands that it is something that is helping me deal with my anxiety and problems. We have discussed that it is important to both of us that I don't use the diaper as my primary sexual outlet, so she said that as long as we are making time to be intimate and building our relationship together she is okay with the masturbation part. I don't masturbate in front of her. In short, we have discussed the terms that we are okay with and we make it work in a way that addresses her concerns as well as meeting my innate needs.

    Finally, if you sense any mental health issues, don't be afraid to address them, even though they are a totally separate, though possibly related issue. My depression and anxiety are real issues I still deal with on a daily basis. I am taking medicine to help with those issues. They were exacerbated by the DL side of me, but resolving them has not cured me. I am coming to realize that I will always have a DL side, and I can't believe I've found somebody who will take me as I come and will love all of me.

    The last thing I'll say for now is that this group, ADISC, can be a great group for both of you. This is a support group with a bunch of people in a similar situation. Let us help you and your husband. I'm pretty new here, but I joined because I wanted to be able to get that kind of help from people who understand me and understand that while I didn't pick my issues, I'm still a good person regardless of those issues, and that those issues are part of what has made me who I am today. So welcome to the community. Invite your husband to join us as well. We can work through this together!
    Uauuuuu... this is a great post. I really felt very close to everything you just said. The only difference is that, because my lack of courage to talk with my wife, I ended up separated. She does not know what happen to me, and I guess she will never know. I hope someday I can find a good friend that I will be able to share everything that happen to me.

  6. #6

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    There is a lot of good information here. I had it under control for 8 yrs then the whole binge and purge cycle hit again. I went to therapy and found this site all about the same time. I finally broke down crying one night and that is when I told my wife about it. The best thing that helped was on You tube. Look for Baby Mitch's understanding ABDL and watch it together. Ask questions using the "I statement", i.e. I would like to understand your need for diapers?

    Communicate and understand both sides.

    And do not worry. Chasing down the little shit to change their little shit does not make you want to be in a diaper or do any thing to them. I have two, and love them to pieces. Also the one rule I set with my wife is never in front of the kids.

    Egor

  7. #7

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    It's okay. Catch your breath. Do you even know how wonderful a spouse you are? You're wonderful! The fact that you conversed with him was fantastic! As far as what he likes about them, I'm not him, but I maybe able to clue you in. It maybe that he likes using them, or masturbates in them, but it maybe just a more comfortable underwear.



    Quote Originally Posted by LBeckett745
    Every website I found was adamant that it had nothing to do with children, except one Yahoo answer post which said her DL husband said the same thing, but then she caught him looking at pictures and videos of diapered babies online so now I'm unsure...
    I bet that poster wasn't sure how to interpret what she was. Most DLs look at pictures and videos of babies simply because they're looking for stuff intended for them, on YouTube or an Adult Baby diaper company, and unfortunately, kids in diapers get mixed in, because of similarity of search terms, I guess. In the past, may it stay there, there were a few problems with unscrupulous Adult Baby diaper companies using people under 18 as models, but the company in question is under new management, praise Yahweh. Rest assured. Most AB/DLs view those images the way we women view kitten videos. Kitten videos are watched because they're cute, not because you'd ever dream of hurting the kitty. "Well, that was cute. Let's move on."

    Quote Originally Posted by LBeckett745
    And I fear when we have a baby someday, that he will become arroused when changing its diaper.
    most likely no need. Kids are placed in a completely different part of the AB/DL brain.

    If he likes using them, it maybe because it's something naughty. Don't be alarmed if Adult Baby ones show up in his stash. He can still be purely DL, and like those, because if it's naughty to wear medical-looking a diaper, how naughty, and anxiety inducing is it to wear an Adult Baby one? Anxiety is a turn on for some folks. It's also naughty to tie people up, but you don't look at him funny for that, so no reason to start looking at him funny for this.

    It's also entirely possible that he likes them because boys have fancy schmaltzy external parts, and, well, pee is warm and wet. Depending on what the absorbent part of the diaper is made of, it might get squishy when wet, so now we have warm, wet, squishy.

    If he messes them, it maybe fun for his prostate, which is the equivalent to the place Dr. Grafenberg found in women.

    Needing to eliminate can be painful, and going from, "Goodness, this is painful," to no pain, can cause endorphin release. Maybe that's it?

    Sorry to be so specific about where in his body this may all come from, but I'm a cold, logical, clinical thinker, and it gives you some questions to ask him.

    What worries me is that you said that he said he hates himself. Make sure he knows you don't hate him, so there's no reason for him to hate himself. In fact, you love him, so all the more reason to love himself. He's not pervey or bad. He may think your acceptance is a fluke, until he trusts that it's consistent and real. He may think you're being nice for now, but will turn when you realize how weird he is. Maybe say, "Go put one on under your basketball shorts, and we'll sit on the couch together and watch the game," then, let him be, "E." Ignore the diaper entirely.

    Partner participation is something many of us want. For me personally, it'd help, "He really doesn't mind," get through my head. Don't feel pressured to participate. If it happens, it'll take time, If you'd like to, just remember, he's still, "E."
    Last edited by SpAzpieSweeTot; 26-Aug-2015 at 22:30.

  8. #8

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    Hi. I'm a male AB and DL myself. I have three kids and I can assure you this was never a problem. And as was already stated, people with our strange quirks are no different to the rest of earths population, meaning that 99% of 'us' are just normal people and then you have that 1% of sociopaths. I'd like to quote babymt here, since I think that comparison was pretty accurate:



    Quote Originally Posted by babymt View Post
    As to having kids I can tell you from personal experience babies diapers are yucky and will not turn your husband on. It is like saying that because you like to dress up as a nurse you would find a child dressed as a nurse sexually attractive (I don't know if that makes sense, but I hope so)
    We (meaning my wife and I) have this rule too, never in front of the kids of course. There's only that one *personal* problem I have, since I am not only a DL but also partially incontinent: There are times when I HAVE to wear in front of our kids (e.g. when we're having a car ride out of town). That feels kind of awkward. But you already ruled this out for your spouse, so that wouldn't prove to be a problem obviously.

    You should really invite 'E' to join us too. Having a rare fetish is nothing that has to be cured. Its something that one has to get to terms with oneself, since it is a deeply anchored part of the personality. And it warms my heart that he now has you to help him in that process.

  9. #9

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    You really came to the right place, and good for you! It's great that you're looking to understand rather than ridicule or put down your spouse's "extracurricular activities".

    I think the previous posts really cover a lot of important aspects, but I'll share my story as well:

    I came out to my girlfriend about my ABDL side about 6 months in, and she was curious but really supportive, and within a month of me telling her, she was asking me for advice on what diapers she should try! It's great!

    Maybe once the dust has settled, you might want to try wearing and using a diaper yourself, and see how that makes you feel. I'm not trying to push you towards adopting his fetish at all, but having the experience if wearing and using a diaper could really give you some insight as to what E finds appealing. Or, you might try purchasing your own and trying them out without his knowledge, and use that experience as a good way to start a conversation with him, since he seems reluctant to do so.

    The most important thing to do is to make him feel safe enough to open up to you and then establish the rules and boundaries you and he need. Your feelings are important too!

    In my own case, my girlfriend and I wear and wet together, but she needs time to ease into the infantile aspect of me. And we both agreed that we have no interest in me messing in her presence.

    Just take your time and feel proud of yourself for doing the right thing in this situation.

    Good luck to both of you!

  10. #10

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    All of the foregoing advice sounds great and I would try to follow it at the pace that's comfortable for the both of you. OK so what "sage" advice do I have? Once you both have gotten to a bit of a settled place concerning his DL fetish you might want to show him that you do understand (at least a bit). Stop at a big box store and buy him a present, yep, a bag of diapers or pull-ups. I can't imagine that he wouldn't love that show of acceptance. But as all of the others have said, don't rush it! It may be a week, a month, or even a year before this show of acceptance would be appreciated. Good Luck and keep us informed, we are here to help!

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