I want to stop

Well, I'm going to say this.

Being ABDL is a major part of who you are, its like being gay or straight, you can't change it, you'll eventually accept yourself for who you are.

If you try to avoid it, or pretend you aren't, it will come back and hurt you, emotionally.

There is nothing wrong with being an AB/DL, it's what makes us unique

Sorry if this comes off as harsh or anything of the likes.

I sometimes still feel the same way you do, but trust me, when you accept yourself for who you are, you'll get used to it.

I tried ignoring the fact I was AB/DL, but deep down it made me sad, because I'm masking a huge part of me, I think the fact you want to "quit" reflects your guilt, do you feel guilty about being an ABDL?

My advice is to accept who are you, and go with the flow, you don't have to do it every day, if you're stressful, put a diaper on, (works for me)

Being AB/DL isn't wrong, its just the way our brains are wired, there are worse things out there than liking diapers.

Everyone goes though the binge cycle, even me just go with the flow for now, eventually it should pass, remember you're in control not the diapers, though they are amazing

Peace

You seem to put a lot of limits on your young self. Stop it.

This is a part of you. Do yourself a favor and dive in head first into being social. Begin dating. Make many friends. I guarantee you will have days where all you can think about is diapers. You get used to it. After you have dated someone for a while, you might think about telling them. I didn't at first. I eventually married and have a wonderful family. At some point i figured it was time to tell her. It was hard, but we both survived.

It took me 30 years to accept this part of myself. I still have hard days. The thing is, I never put my life on hold while I was figuring it all out. That's not living.

No more limits! Live. Everything will sort itself out, or it won't. Either way, life moves forward.

HugMuffees said:

I'm really not liking this, but I can't quit. I don't feel sexually liberated. I want to quit. deep down I want to quit. :frown: Why do I do this thing... everytime its the same circle, hopeful change, anxiety for a few days, morph to cravings, purge wonder wtf happened. I can't take this anymore this isn't me. It isn't who I want to be there has to be some way. It's my actions I should be able to do things I like and not do things I don't. so why does this keep happening to me...

If I could just sate these feelings some other way. without diaper sex or baby stuff.

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i guess this is a strange thing for me to read mostly
i would ask first why do you want to stop? do you think it is wrong moraly? social pressure? what about this is making you want to stop

HugMuffees said:

How do you stop the binge purge circle?

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Stop purging.

Easier said than done, I know, but once you accept that it is highly unlikely these desires we have can ever be eliminated it becomes obvious that the only way to break the 'cycle' is to stop purging. Bad feelings arise when we fruitlessly struggle for self control. Maybe someday you will acquire the superpower to control your desires but, until then, use your self control for things you actually have some control over, like your physical response to your desires. You have two desires that are in conflict - the desire to engage in diaper play, and the desire to purge yourself of all diaper related activity. The first one, as you know, only gets stronger as you try to ignore it. The second one is a naturally occurring desire that has to do with being an accepted part of society, and it is this second one that you have more control over. Not that you will will ever lose the desire to be part of society, but, that while this part of you may be socially unacceptable, you will personally accept it as part of who you are. Of course, keep it hidden to match your comfort level.

The next time you feel the urge to purge put a diaper on instead and go about your daily routine. When you become distracted by playful desires just nicely tell yourself "later, when the time is right", and go about your business. If the desires seem too overwhelming go ahead and satisfy them, but keep wearing afterwards even though the desire is gone, or even completely reversed, at that point. This is not a punishment but a way to use your self control to overcome the urge to purge and all of the associated shame and guilt. You won't lose your desire to wear but hopefully you will be slightly desensitized to it and will be able, at times, to think and act rationally while diapered just as well as when not wearing. Your urge to purge may never completely disappear, either, but it should become manageable.

We diaper wearers will always have problems with personal relationships that the general population doesn't have. Accept it and move on. Moving on means trying different things to get the most satisfying life out of your unique circumstances. Put your diaper on and think about it.

I have the mental "want" to stop, but not the actual ability to stop. I've tried to make myself not like it, but as others have said... the "urge" comes back 10 times stronger. I then have to wear diapers for an extended period of time, days even before I feel like the urge has subsided.

Stopping this "want\need" is the most difficult thing I've ever tried. I'm even considering going to a psychologist, just to see if there is something else going on that I do not know about. Also, going to see a psychologist will make my wife feel better as well. She obviously doesn't like me wearing diapers, but acknowledges the benefits when I do.

I was struggling with the same feelings for years, And finally came to the realization that I want to be in diapers 24/7. And now I am subdue and as crazy as it sounds I am much happier. So hang in there and be your true self or It will eat at you.

Hi HugMuffees. When I came here I was really scared to let it go. Since I discovered that I am ABDL, my stash has grown in size incredibly. I was scared that if I let my desires to possess my mind and imagination, soon I'll want to wear 24/7, then to 'come out', so on... Just like you, I'm a painter. I was scared that one day I can find myself drawing "diaper art".. And Art is not about porno and diapers.. It was not the future I wanted for myself.

I accepted my ABDL side when I realized that it's just a tiny peace of my personality. Tiny peace I paid too much attention. I like drawing and painting not less than indulging in ageplay. And there are millions of other things I like to do. Look around, people here are definitely not some kind of crazy maniacs obsessed with diapers! Yes, probably you won't be able to get rid of your little side, but should you take it in such negative angle? Your little side, among the other your sides just makes you more unique and interesting person.

I also was scared about dating girls, because I was sure they will never accept me. But during my college years I've overcome my fear and dated girls (though I never had guts to tell about my secret side). I think it also played it's role in my way of accepting myself. Oddly enough, but when I dated I was completely forgetting about my ABDL desires, there was a fragile creature I needed to care about, this was just more important for me.

Letting-go and gaining self-acceptance means overcoming our fears, and we always fear of unknown. There is no other way to overcome it than to gain the courage and try it. :smile:

Wow thanks for the support guys. Reading through the posts is really quite heart warming to see I'm not alone in this inner conflict. I think my purge phases are just as much part of this fetish as my abdl play.

An update about my situation.

I'm still in the throws of binge purge, but I've decided to change my approach somewhat. I can't just reject myself that wants to quit and I can't reject my abdlness. Even if one is more a conscious level of me doesn't make it bad or evil the same applies for my subconscious. They are both me. So instead I'm going to try and get both aspects of myself to get along. I don't really no how yet. This is new territory for me.

I'm not planning on buying adult baby stuff anytime soon, but I'm trying to not beat myself up over the want or be scared of it. like when thoughts of diapers come up and I feel myself freaking out I just say "hey its alright there's nothing wrong with you. You have two sets of contradictory wants and there's nothing wrong with either set. Lets just get along and accept the dissonant state for a while and continue with our lives. One day you'll know" Nothing wrong with the wants, but I feel perhaps like the act for me is simply another form of purging this emotional state. So I do things like watch films from my childhood etc. Maybe I'll find a better balance or better yet unite these two halves of myself.

While occasionally uncomfortable it has given me control over my actions again and that feels good.

HugMuffees said:

Wow thanks for the support guys. Reading through the posts is really quite heart warming to see I'm not alone in this inner conflict. I think my purge phases are just as much part of this fetish as my abdl play.

An update about my situation.

I'm still in the throws of binge purge, but I've decided to change my approach somewhat. I can't just reject myself that wants to quit and I can't reject my abdlness. Even if one is more a conscious level of me doesn't make it bad or evil the same applies for my subconscious. They are both me. So instead I'm going to try and get both aspects of myself to get along. I don't really no how yet. This is new territory for me.

I'm not planning on buying adult baby stuff anytime soon, but I'm trying to not beat myself up over the want or be scared of it. like when thoughts of diapers come up and I feel myself freaking out I just say "hey its alright there's nothing wrong with you. You have two sets of contradictory wants and there's nothing wrong with either set. Lets just get along and accept the dissonant state for a while and continue with our lives. One day you'll know" Nothing wrong with the wants, but I feel perhaps like the act for me is simply another form of purging this emotional state. So I do things like watch films from my childhood etc. Maybe I'll find a better balance or better yet unite these two halves of myself.

While occasionally uncomfortable it has given me control over my actions again and that feels good.

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By Joe I think he got it!!!
Good job.

It is a long process. A really long process. Give yourself time to figure this out. It is a fundamental change. You can do it!