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Thread: Feeling too old to enjoy young things-squeezed out of the fun...Or something else?

  1. #1

    Unhappy Feeling too old to enjoy young things-squeezed out of the fun...Or something else?

    I don't know how to say this, but I feel like I've lost my generation altogether, like some sort of immortal when they see all their friends growing older and they stay the same... I don't know if it is infantilism that fuels my love of various (what I would consider) childish interests outside of the actual ABDL scene. For example, I love Anime and it seems I'm more keen on the cutesy-er ones lately. I went to my first comicon-esque convention recently (I've always wanted to go), and I seem to be becoming really addicted to card games - MagicTheGathering, Hearthstone, even Pokemon TCG for god's sake! And I mean I'm 25 years old now, I feel like I should be getting away from all that - but I want to indulge these things more than ever... But I have absolutely no friends left who would possibly be interested in any of these things and most of the people who do are way younger... I know I know - there are tons of Adult Cosplayers and all that, but I mean these teenage kids have way more experience than me and I feel like some sort of greesy old man! Like, I just want someone my age to play these games and enjoy these elements with, but that seems an impossible feat. It feels so awkward to be the old one who "still" has an interest in such things, especially since a lot of it hasn't actually blossomed until now... I can't say for sure if it falls into a more infantilist-oriented nostalgia from childhood or if it's just an immaturity or what, but it just feels so wrong and creepy to be with such a young crowd. When a kid goes outside they look for a "playmate", but that seems what exactly I'm looking for in an adult, not for any sexual or even relationship reasons, but just some person to hang out with thats my own age for these entertainments I so love and enjoy. What I can't understand is though - what is my motivation for all this - am I overindulging some infantilist non-sexual interests or some kind of emotional need or some kind of immature state where everyone else is evolved past. For the last part it's especially confusing as I play less and less non-card-games (like console ps3 etc) and it's especially odd. The key is that these are legitimately innocent interests not related to the abdl-fetish stuffs. Does anyone else experience this - what is going on???

    PS: I didn't know what section to post this in, so I thought Off-Topic was a catch-all... If I was incorrect please move me, thanks.

  2. #2

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    I've read what you've written and all I can think is that you're describing symptoms of arrested development. I enjoy playing with some toys that I've required, especially when I'm in a regressive mood. But most of my time is spent doing adult things. I don't think you would find many your age who would enjoy doing things that young children enjoy. For that, you would have to find someone who is like minded, someone who is AB/DL, etc.

    My normal day consists of a cup of morning coffee and reading the newspaper. I enjoy getting out on the bike trail, riding my bike and perhaps part of that is regressive as I rode my bike everywhere when I was a kid. The rest of the day is occupied by more adult things, many of them work related or doing house chores like cleaning or laundry.

    So I guess what I'm saying is that you are expecting something from your friends which probably won't happen. There's nothing wrong with enjoying "little" things as long as it doesn't rule your adult life. To every thing there is a season, a time and place. If there aren't many adult things you enjoy doing, you may have a problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I've read what you've written and all I can think is that you're describing symptoms of arrested development. I enjoy playing with some toys that I've required, especially when I'm in a regressive mood. But most of my time is spent doing adult things. I don't think you would find many your age who would enjoy doing things that young children enjoy. For that, you would have to find someone who is like minded, someone who is AB/DL, etc.

    My normal day consists of a cup of morning coffee and reading the newspaper. I enjoy getting out on the bike trail, riding my bike and perhaps part of that is regressive as I rode my bike everywhere when I was a kid. The rest of the day is occupied by more adult things, many of them work related or doing house chores like cleaning or laundry.

    So I guess what I'm saying is that you are expecting something from your friends which probably won't happen. There's nothing wrong with enjoying "little" things as long as it doesn't rule your adult life. To every thing there is a season, a time and place. If there aren't many adult things you enjoy doing, you may have a problem.
    Well it's not like I don't enjoy other things - I still like music/playing guitar, watching crime dramas and thrillers, doing genealogy, and getting involved in politics, etc.. It's that I enjoy these other embarrassing games and interests that most evolve out of. It's especially odd because I really dont play a lot of video games like I used to - just the various card games I seem to be addicted to. And thats not to say I dont play adult card games either - I play Poker for pocket change from time to time both online and off (though again, same problem - trying to find others to play Poker with as well)...

    I'm really geeky though, and dont like anything like biking or anything - I prefer just to walk - though from time to time I miss skateboarding like I used to when I was a teen (though its for the best, I'd just break something now the way my bones are lol - health problems and all that) I generally try to clear the slate if there ever is time for stuff, and I do laundry and things just like you, but I'd still like on my off days to go and enjoy these as well. And I know not to expect of my friends these things - I absolutely dont expect that. It isnt that it rules my life, its that I just want to incorporate these things more than they are... As I am a mix of adult and childish things, I also like a mix of Anime with my drama movies, you get it? It's still a big part of me, but theres more to me than one simple thing. Sadly the "normal" things aren't as hard for me to do - and most of my other interests are fairly solitary - like genealogy which I pretty much don't want to be disturbed while doing my thing, so I don't need that social side. But it's hard to enjoy non-solitary things without anyone else.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Plushie View Post
    Well it's not like I don't enjoy other things - I still like music/playing guitar, watching crime dramas and thrillers, doing genealogy, and getting involved in politics, etc.. It's that I enjoy these other embarrassing games and interests that most evolve out of. It's especially odd because I really dont play a lot of video games like I used to - just the various card games I seem to be addicted to. And thats not to say I dont play adult card games either - I play Poker for pocket change from time to time both online and off (though again, same problem - trying to find others to play Poker with as well)...

    I'm really geeky though, and dont like anything like biking or anything - I prefer just to walk - though from time to time I miss skateboarding like I used to when I was a teen (though its for the best, I'd just break something now the way my bones are lol - health problems and all that) I generally try to clear the slate if there ever is time for stuff, and I do laundry and things just like you, but I'd still like on my off days to go and enjoy these as well. And I know not to expect of my friends these things - I absolutely dont expect that. It isnt that it rules my life, its that I just want to incorporate these things more than they are... As I am a mix of adult and childish things, I also like a mix of Anime with my drama movies, you get it? It's still a big part of me, but theres more to me than one simple thing. Sadly the "normal" things aren't as hard for me to do - and most of my other interests are fairly solitary - like genealogy which I pretty much don't want to be disturbed while doing my thing, so I don't need that social side. But it's hard to enjoy non-solitary things without anyone else.
    It sounds like you have a well balanced and a healthy life. I only had a small snippet from your first statement, but clearly, you're well involved in the normal parts of life, which is good. Back to your original thread then, I think it's difficult to find people who would enjoy doing "younger" things, but you might find success with the fairer sex. Girls can get away with enjoying younger things. It's worth a try. Also, thanks for all the information as it enables me and probably others to know you better.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    It sounds like you have a well balanced and a healthy life. I only had a small snippet from your first statement, but clearly, you're well involved in the normal parts of life, which is good. Back to your original thread then, I think it's difficult to find people who would enjoy doing "younger" things, but you might find success with the fairer sex. Girls can get away with enjoying younger things. It's worth a try. Also, thanks for all the information as it enables me and probably others to know you better.
    Yeah, like that'd ever happen though lol. Honestly if I can't find guy friends what luck can I have finding girl friends? Also most who tend to be into all these things are usually younger even at least a little bit, and I just feel so old and like its hard to make it clear I'm not just another creepy old man looking for something more - I would love to have some girl friends...Its a shame though, it always makes me feel like just another creepy guy, even though it's entirely innocent. And that's especially odd because my own gender difficulties would normally make just-friends seem more plausible, but I'm pretty much in my shell at all times...

  6. #6

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    I feel that way sometimes, Plushie. I'm 25 as well. Most of the relationships I've had have been brief ones or just one-night-stands, so I'm nowhere near ready for building a family - if I could even find someone to build one with - even though the idea seems nice. I can't drive and don't own a car. My job (whilst fun) is a bit sporadic and I work from home. It means I'm not really on course for the kind of "mature" mainstream adult life most of same-age my friends are building. Whilst most people I know are busy bringing up their little ones, I just feel like a little! However, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

    Firstly, I don't think having that connection to childhood interests is a problem. Lots of my married friends love things like Pokémon, Sponge Bob and Cannonball Z (to name just a few!). I think that whilst we all have a biological age which changes at the same constant speed, the age we are mentally and socially zips around all over the place. Sometimes I like to sit quietly in the garden with home-cooked food and a bottle of ale, other times I want to be in one of my cutesy teddybear t-shirts playing with my toy cars. Neither of those things stop me from functioning as a twenty-something adult when I want to or need to.

    We all change and develop at different speeds, and your changes will come naturally and be right for you. In the meantime, you sound like you're doing just fine. Keep your chin up.

  7. #7

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    There are many adults who enjoy those exact same things you described as childish. Maybe not in your area or on your immediate circle of friends/acquaintances but those people exist. I also don't know many people irl who enjoy these, I would call it, geek interests but I know of many people on youtube, stream sites and forums who do.

    For example, anime is not a thing that I enjoy but it's present all over in geek culture. I play a lot of videogames including one you mentioned which is Hearthstone, and I don't know if you're aware but tons of people play that, check twich.tv or youtube, tournaments happen all the time, streams and videos are done and posted everyday. There's a lot of people making money by playing these games, and they're not kids or teenagers, they're adults, alot of them with children even.



    Edit: Forgot to mention as I was reading this thread I was watching the latest video of totalbiscuit, a well known youtube gamer personality, playing hearthstone.

  8. #8

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    I'll start off by saying I'm 23 so I'm about the same age.

    I get what you're saying, but fortunately for me a lot of my friends are pretty open minded and are into a lot of the more "childish" things that I enjoy such as cartoons (including anime and Pokemon) plus they even appreciate some of the plushies I have. So I'll see if I can offer anything for your situation.

    As far as finding other people to play card games with - there are tons of people of all ages who play Hearthstone, Magic, and Pokemon (someone I use to go to high-school with plays Pokemon professionally and actually won the finals, I couldn't f#cking believe it when I found that out).

    So I'd say start off finding those around you who share that interest. A Google search or two and I'd imagine it'd be possible to find a forum where you can find others that are into those games, local, and around your age group. You can then set up a meeting to play face to face if you find someone you feel comfortable enough with. If you find someone who plays Pokemon there's a good change they're into other animes too. Maybe you'll meet someone, find out you have other similar interests and become good friends or maybe you'll find someone you can just play cards with which would be okay too.

    Secondly, yes, I experience what you're experiencing to an extent except more of my friends share these interests so I can enjoy them with them. You should really think and breakdown WHY you like these things. In my experience this really helped. Here's my experience...

    I really the cartoon Adventure Time. I know I like it because I love animation in general, it's written well IMO (there's always a sense that there's something huge going on beneath the surface), a lot of well known actors and celebrities are guests on the show, and the voice of Jake the Dog (one of the main characters) is voiced by the person who does the voice of Bender from Futurama and the voice of Marcus from Gears of War which I think is awesome and it's for many of these reasons my friends enjoy watching it as well.

    Anyway, you just gotta look around more and realize you're not the only one in your age group who enjoys these things. And remember you got all the time in the world to figure this stuff out.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCaptain View Post
    I'll start off by saying I'm 23 so I'm about the same age.

    I get what you're saying, but fortunately for me a lot of my friends are pretty open minded and are into a lot of the more "childish" things that I enjoy such as cartoons (including anime and Pokemon) plus they even appreciate some of the plushies I have. So I'll see if I can offer anything for your situation.

    As far as finding other people to play card games with - there are tons of people of all ages who play Hearthstone, Magic, and Pokemon (someone I use to go to high-school with plays Pokemon professionally and actually won the finals, I couldn't f#cking believe it when I found that out).

    So I'd say start off finding those around you who share that interest. A Google search or two and I'd imagine it'd be possible to find a forum where you can find others that are into those games, local, and around your age group. You can then set up a meeting to play face to face if you find someone you feel comfortable enough with. If you find someone who plays Pokemon there's a good change they're into other animes too. Maybe you'll meet someone, find out you have other similar interests and become good friends or maybe you'll find someone you can just play cards with which would be okay too.

    Secondly, yes, I experience what you're experiencing to an extent except more of my friends share these interests so I can enjoy them with them. You should really think and breakdown WHY you like these things. In my experience this really helped. Here's my experience...

    I really the cartoon Adventure Time. I know I like it because I love animation in general, it's written well IMO (there's always a sense that there's something huge going on beneath the surface), a lot of well known actors and celebrities are guests on the show, and the voice of Jake the Dog (one of the main characters) is voiced by the person who does the voice of Bender from Futurama and the voice of Marcus from Gears of War which I think is awesome and it's for many of these reasons my friends enjoy watching it as well.

    Anyway, you just gotta look around more and realize you're not the only one in your age group who enjoys these things. And remember you got all the time in the world to figure this stuff out.
    Well my area is so dumb it often gets grouped in with people from an hour away - with no transportation besides feet, I'm kind of limited in range, though I know in the bigger town I'd have more of a chance. Heck even in a neighbouring city I found out (at the comicon) that theres a place to go play MagicTheGathering at, but it too is an hour away... I'll definitely have to keep looking around, but in all honesty I think it'd have to be playing in private at this point.

    The anxiety about this all only adds to it... I mean I still turn down the volume and close the door when watching My Little Pony for gods sake. I mean I don't even want to load my netflix on my tablet in public now because it has all these anime shows and some cartoons mixed in with all the other stuff I normally watch. I have considering adding a separate profile for myself as a "kids" only one, but then my TV doesnt support it. Being embarrassed about that all, it's causing me to "turtle" in my shell... I mean, even mentioning anime of any kind and one of my old friends tears me apart about it...and hes a RL DL. (yes I've found one!)

    And thats just it - I don't feel like I have all the time in the world... I feel like I've been missing out and now am on the peak old age for all this kind of stuff...Like I should've or SHOULD grow out of all this...

    The only one in the world who even knows about my stuffed animal collection is my grandmother (whos more like my mother), but even she doesnt know I have a doll and sleep with 2 teddy-bears at night. .. or should I say "lay on" them, rofl because I often use them more as a cuddle pillow instead lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fraldinhas View Post
    There are many adults who enjoy those exact same things you described as childish. Maybe not in your area or on your immediate circle of friends/acquaintances but those people exist. I also don't know many people irl who enjoy these, I would call it, geek interests but I know of many people on youtube, stream sites and forums who do.

    For example, anime is not a thing that I enjoy but it's present all over in geek culture. I play a lot of videogames including one you mentioned which is Hearthstone, and I don't know if you're aware but tons of people play that, check twich.tv or youtube, tournaments happen all the time, streams and videos are done and posted everyday. There's a lot of people making money by playing these games, and they're not kids or teenagers, they're adults, alot of them with children even.



    Edit: Forgot to mention as I was reading this thread I was watching the latest video of totalbiscuit, a well known youtube gamer personality, playing hearthstone.
    Yes I know Hearthstone is one of the more common ones... I don't feel as embarrassed about that one, but still a little bit, and it does make me feel childish still... (not in the good, "little" way at all) I've only ever met 1 other person who liked that game in rl and he apparently deleted me after I beat him for some reason...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sanch View Post
    I feel that way sometimes, Plushie. I'm 25 as well. Most of the relationships I've had have been brief ones or just one-night-stands, so I'm nowhere near ready for building a family - if I could even find someone to build one with - even though the idea seems nice. I can't drive and don't own a car. My job (whilst fun) is a bit sporadic and I work from home. It means I'm not really on course for the kind of "mature" mainstream adult life most of same-age my friends are building. Whilst most people I know are busy bringing up their little ones, I just feel like a little! However, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

    Firstly, I don't think having that connection to childhood interests is a problem. Lots of my married friends love things like Pokémon, Sponge Bob and Cannonball Z (to name just a few!). I think that whilst we all have a biological age which changes at the same constant speed, the age we are mentally and socially zips around all over the place. Sometimes I like to sit quietly in the garden with home-cooked food and a bottle of ale, other times I want to be in one of my cutesy teddybear t-shirts playing with my toy cars. Neither of those things stop me from functioning as a twenty-something adult when I want to or need to.

    We all change and develop at different speeds, and your changes will come naturally and be right for you. In the meantime, you sound like you're doing just fine. Keep your chin up.
    I hear you on the car thing - I can't drive either and don't have one...And even if I did, I get extended bouts of vertigo that would make that dangerous to my and other's lives on the road.

    Thank you for the sweet words though... It's just so depressing not having anyone to share your interests with...Even worse, is when you do try to find that person and connect in some way, they might think your after something beyond a simple childish platonic relationship... I think that's especially my biggest fear with the fairer sex... I would like to be more like best friends with a girl, but being male-bodied (how else do I say it) makes it really awkward when I have almost a non-specific gender outlook in my mind (wow that was big lol).

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Plushie View Post
    Yeah, like that'd ever happen though lol. Honestly if I can't find guy friends what luck can I have finding girl friends? Also most who tend to be into all these things are usually younger even at least a little bit, and I just feel so old and like its hard to make it clear I'm not just another creepy old man looking for something more - I would love to have some girl friends...Its a shame though, it always makes me feel like just another creepy guy, even though it's entirely innocent. And that's especially odd because my own gender difficulties would normally make just-friends seem more plausible, but I'm pretty much in my shell at all times...
    Most of my friends are girls they tend to be more accepting of guys that don't fit the masculine stereotype. I'm pretty childish in general and they never mind, they normally just think it's funny or cute

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