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Thread: Need advise on meeting another abdl

  1. #1

    Exclamation Need advise on meeting another abdl

    Warning Bad Grammar and Spelling Below


    I met this guy on bedwettingabdl.com. I found his email on the abdl database. He took 2 years to email me back, (He doesn't check his abdl email often lol)
    he emailed me back his phone number, I texted him, He immediately texted back. we talked about meeting and about sharing secrets, what we would do if we met in public randomly, (No-one must know) sort of thing. He was shy about even saying hi in public where as i was more interested in hanging out in public as friends with a shared secret. He wanted to come over. He kept asking me what we would do. My response was "I don't know ive never done any thing like this before I feel weird inviting over a guy to play naked and in diapers together, Im a virgin ave never even invited a girl over but jumping into diapers? I just cant wrap my head around this."He asked me if i would change him, again i said " I just don't know" So finally he came over i met him at a church parking lot of all places then he followed me back home. He came in asked to see my stash. I showed him my HUGE collection of diapers, He was surprised I let him choose. I was feeling awkward so i made him change into it in the bathroom, while i changed in the living room. He apparently had to go bad so he flooded a pamper which he could still fit into. I on the other hand had gone only a couple hours before not thinking this would happen that night. so i had to go in the bathroom and pour warm water down the front of my depends, which made me have to go a little so i finished off with a pee. He wanted to rub my diaper and wanted to know if i wanted to rub his I did want to so much but i felt weird to say i wanted to. I touched it a little gave it a squeeze still not knowing if i was gay or not. He rubbed my diaper. Then he suddenly said he had to go it was late. I made him take the diaper off in the bathroom and put in in a bag which I put in the garbage outside.

    Fast forward a month. During our first visit i found out he was only in town for summer. He was attending college elsewhere. So i texted him asking him if he wanted to come over once more before the summer was over. I'm going to re-post here word for word what was said, Its my greatest desires and weirdness leaking out but i need help and maybe one of you can give me some advise. Here goes.

    ME: You should come over at least once before my vacation

    ME: on aug 2

    ME: I would do so much more than last time

    ME: Id still be uncomfortable but i need to experience something before i jump in

    HIM: what would you want to do?

    HIM: Dont be shy and let me know give me some ideas other than i dont know throw out specifics I could tell last time you wanted to to way more.

    ME: Start off with changing each other into a diaper then feel it as you wet then play with it just rub it till its cold.

    ME: There are other things but i would never ask someone i trusted completely

    ME: just one in particular

    ME: once upon a time i dreamed of sticking my hand down the diaper when someone peed but i know now that is something i just cant do based on all the diseases i could get doing it.

    ME:and yes i love to watch people poop diapers but i just don't want my house to smell like shit.

    ME: if i could get past that part I would shape your diaper like clay but sorry i would not go as far as changing.

    ME: if you come over again i would want to hold our pee all day and drink plenty of fluids that way we really have to go and flood.

    ME: i go through phases where i'm not interested but you got me back into them

    ME: btw sorry for blowing up your phone

    ME: Okay the thing that i could never ask is, Ive always wanted to rub my face into anothers diapered groin and just breath the baby fresh scent pampers includes in those diapers while the diaper gets warm but i definitely wont do that with you this time.

    ME: there's got to be more that your interested in your abdl fantasies other than "Im open to anything Im very laid back"

    HIM: Ill do what ever you want

    HIM: I know you want more

    HIM: we could turn the lights off in your room.

    ME: Im not going any further you always seem to think i want more but i dont. Im struggling to come up with more you have not put forth any imagination.

    -------------------------------------------------
    I feel like im being forced into a situation where things are going to be a little to gay for me or ill be doing things im not comfortable with yet and i dont know that he wants me to do. The turning off the lights thing just freaked me out.
    Im not trying to be homo phobic but i just don't know where to go from here. Hes 19 im 22. As far as i know he's the only abdl that i know of in Virginia he lives in the same town i do or at least he does when not at school. I find my self craving having another abdl experience with another abdl and do way more than the first time where i made so many mistakes. Should i continue to try to spend time with this guy or try searching more. I cant turn down the only other person near me male or female.

  2. #2

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    Wow, yeah a bit of a complicated situation but my first impression is to tell him that you're not gay (don't worry he probably won't take offence) but I can understand your feeling since he's the only one near you (that you know of.. ? yeah trying to be mysterious here) *cough sorry um yeah let him know where your limits are and what you are and are not willing to do. If he tries to force you do do anything then.. Well, drop him. I know how it feels when there's seemingly no-one else but it kind of looks like a situation like this could easily get out of hand.

    Sorry if I misunderstood anything you said in the post, I kind of find it difficult to absorb big amounts of information..

    just read my post through.. and you said YOUR grammar was bad.. Sorry I'm not in a very serious mood.

  3. #3

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    Do you have his real name? He has your home address and phone number. The pair would have been more than I would have given on a first meeting. His complete secrecy and not wanting to meet in public first would make me leery. Giving specifics over the phone via text message may be a problem. I prefer to go over such details either in person or another way. I really like two way communication where I am not the only one saying things.

    Him saying he is willing to do anything tells me he is either lying or has no experience. Most likely, it is a lack of experience. I feel that neither of you have enough experience to know what you want to do together. This will make things awkward unless both you communicate.

    Speaking of communicating, it is acceptable and fine for you to clearly state what you will not do and what you will not accept. No diaper changes at this time is completely reasonable. Him wanting to go further than you want is not a good match. You wanted to meet in public; he follows you home. Him touching your diaper without permission further proves my point. I am not seeing respect for you or your limits here. Could be reading the situation wrong, but it is a red flag that makes me really nervous.


    I am not yet ready to say you need to stop with this person, but I would recommend caution. Only you can decide if he is worth meeting again. Best of luck with your decision.

  4. #4

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    That's got to be hard for you putting all this out here. There's a sort of a frantic quality I'm getting from both of you in this. It's understandable when you lack experience and it seems like if you don't act now the chance will never come again. Once upon a time, that might have been a true risk. Now, with the widespread adoption of the Internet, there's no reason to believe you won't make another connection with someone in the future.

    I would advise to take a step back and think if this is the right situation to play around or if it is simply desperation. If you like and trust him and it seems like you'll have fun, by all means go for it. In general, experience is good even when not perfect, but you need to be safe and sane as well. Personally, I'd go for the changing as well if you were comfortable for another meeting and don't worry about any gaiety right now. If it all feels like too much too fast, catch the next chance, either with him or someone more suitable in the future.

  5. #5

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    Wow, yeah a bit of a complicated situation but my first impression is to tell him that you're not gay (don't worry he probably won't take offence) but I can understand your feeling since he's the only one near you (that you know of.. ? yeah trying to be mysterious here) *cough sorry um yeah let him know where your limits are and what you are and are not willing to do. If he tries to force you do do anything then.. Well, drop him. I know how it feels when there's seemingly no-one else but it kind of looks like a situation like this could easily get out of hand.

    Sorry if I misunderstood anything you said in the post, I kind of find it difficult to absorb big amounts of information..

    just read my post through.. and you said YOUR grammar was bad.. Sorry I'm not in a very serious mood.
    I know i just needed to put the info down in an order while it was still in my head. I realize now I left out a few things. 1. He says he's straight, he is just a little gay around diapers, which is what i think i might be knowing how many girls are into this sort of thing. Also like i said he is one of a few that i know are near me. The other two I didn't mention were people I only know of online that haven't been on where i found them for so long it doesn't matter anymore. Yes I will try to set my borders. One more thing, I have trouble reading the longer posts and absorbing them as well, but I might have more focused people helping me this way.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremiah View Post
    Do you have his real name? He has your home address and phone number. The pair would have been more than I would have given on a first meeting. His complete secrecy and not wanting to meet in public first would make me leery. Giving specifics over the phone via text message may be a problem. I prefer to go over such details either in person or another way. I really like two way communication where I am not the only one saying things.

    Him saying he is willing to do anything tells me he is either lying or has no experience. Most likely, it is a lack of experience. I feel that neither of you have enough experience to know what you want to do together. This will make things awkward unless both you communicate.

    Speaking of communicating, it is acceptable and fine for you to clearly state what you will not do and what you will not accept. No diaper changes at this time is completely reasonable. Him wanting to go further than you want is not a good match. You wanted to meet in public; he follows you home. Him touching your diaper without permission further proves my point. I am not seeing respect for you or your limits here. Could be reading the situation wrong, but it is a red flag that makes me really nervous.


    I am not yet ready to say you need to stop with this person, but I would recommend caution. Only you can decide if he is worth meeting again. Best of luck with your decision.
    I knew his real name. He told me it at the end of our first meeting but I have forgotten it. That might say something about how much i care, but I don't know. I gave him my phone number because he wanted to only email, and I didn't have a computer at that time and a data limit on my phone. He had my permission to touch my diaper but it was still awkward. I knew we had to do something, but my first time I just couldn't get over the awkwardness. I think it is a lack of experience in both of us. He is not a virgin so he has done a similar (if you can even call it that) thing with another. Yes I believe he is way too pushy and not giving on the ideas enough.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    That's got to be hard for you putting all this out here. There's a sort of a frantic quality I'm getting from both of you in this. It's understandable when you lack experience and it seems like if you don't act now the chance will never come again. Once upon a time, that might have been a true risk. Now, with the widespread adoption of the Internet, there's no reason to believe you won't make another connection with someone in the future.

    I would advise to take a step back and think if this is the right situation to play around or if it is simply desperation. If you like and trust him and it seems like you'll have fun, by all means go for it. In general, experience is good even when not perfect, but you need to be safe and sane as well. Personally, I'd go for the changing as well if you were comfortable for another meeting and don't worry about any gaiety right now. If it all feels like too much too fast, catch the next chance, either with him or someone more suitable in the future.
    You make it sound so simple to find another on the internet. People are taught not to reveal themselves online and most don't take it a step further to reveal their deepest darkest secrets. I, however feel as though if i put my real name and my interests online however kinky they are, only the people searching for those kinky things will find it and if they are looking for me then they will have to deal with something new like it or not. I used to spend much time looking for others with similar interests near me but after years of searching, I have found that they don't want to be found. That I will most likely not find them.


    Thank you all for your helpful comments very much full of wisdom.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sitherus View Post
    [snipped] You make it sound so simple to find another on the internet. People are taught not to reveal themselves online and most don't take it a step further to reveal their deepest darkest secrets. I, however feel as though if i put my real name and my interests online however kinky they are, only the people searching for those kinky things will find it and if they are looking for me then they will have to deal with something new like it or not. I used to spend much time looking for others with similar interests near me but after years of searching, I have found that they don't want to be found. That I will most likely not find them.


    Thank you all for your helpful comments very much full of wisdom.
    I understand it's not as easy as going to the store to pick up a gallon of milk, but if you had any idea of the ease compared to when I was your age, you would be much less concerned. If you make the effort to seek out real connections with people, the opportunities will present themselves over time. Despite being older, I haven't been actively social in our community all that long, and I have literally lost count of the ABDLs I have met. I am in a good area for it but location isn't always the deciding factor.

    I don't mean to diminish the real hurdles, but we have posts every day from ABDLs who clear them. If you approach this diligently and with reasonable care, you will meet others, and in my experience, most aren't going to grope you unless that's what you want (not to say anything bad about a nice, consensual groping). Decide what you want and then take appropriate action.

  7. #7

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    *looks at texts* Yeah, that guy wants to bone. If you don't want to bone, don't get with that guy.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    *looks at texts* Yeah, that guy wants to bone. If you don't want to bone, don't get with that guy.
    Simply put.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by AshleyAshes View Post
    *looks at texts* Yeah, that guy wants to bone. If you don't want to bone, don't get with that guy.
    It's pretty clear that he wants to do something sexual, but it's not clear (to me) what activities he has in mind. Some guys meet up with other guys with the expectation that diaper-related activity will be a prelude to gay sex, of one of the more ordinary sorts. He might be one of those guys, even though he says he's straight. On the other hand, he may only be interested in diapered humping or masturbation.

    Sometimes miscommunication between ABDLs happens because one person has an unstated expectation that the other person doesn't recognize. A good way of avoiding this miscommunication is to be very explicit about what you do and don't want. For instance, if you think you are interested in changing each other and feeling each other while diapered but not in any sort of sex that's impossible with diapers on, you could say that. If you just want to hang out with someone watching a movie while wearing diapers, and that's all you want, you could say that.

    Of course, this is harder to do when you don't know what you want. You sound conflicted about how far you want to go with this guy. It's normal for young ABDLs to feel conflicted about exploring ABDL activities with other people. Trevor's advice seems right to me. It's good to get experience, even when it's not perfect. It's also important to be safe and sane. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer about what to do here; it depends on how you feel about this person and what you feel comfortable with.

    I can assure you that this is not the last time you will meet another ABDL (unless you deliberately decide not to meet other ABDLs, but I can't imagine why you'd make that decision). It's true that we're not living on every block, but there are enough of us out there that you will have more opportunities. It's easiest if you live in a big city, but ability and willingness to travel can provide opportunities, too.

    I think your instinct to meet in public is sound. Coffee shops or a late lunch at a casual restaurant are two good options that are low-pressure and not intimidating. Both are better than a church parking lot!
    Last edited by buridan; 12-Aug-2015 at 23:35. Reason: Typo: possible -> impossible

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