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Thread: Deemed to be single?

  1. #1

    Default Deemed to be single?

    Ok so I seem to have no luck with getting a girlfriend, I have outlined the scenarios below where things looked hopeful.(each number is a different person)

    1. Needed a date for a school formal, one of my friends girlfriends found me someone, we saw each other only six time in six months then i got the "lets be friends" she wasn't the touchy type, didn't want to cuddle or anything.
    2. Talked for awhile then organised a date but at the last minute she said I wouldn't like her and cancelled the date
    3. Went on a date but then not another(can't remember why/what happend)
    4. Added this girl on FB and we chatted for ages and arranged a date, we got along well had a really long date and then noticed she deleted her profile on dating site and she said this relationship isn't going to work out because she is still in love with here ex.
    5. Same as above but kept asking when she wanted to go on a date(seemed to avoid the question) but she then said to me "I'm a nice guy [blah blah] but she hasn't been single in ages and needs some time away from relationships/dating.
    6. We got along well but she didn't always respond to messages, last time I got a response was when I asked when she was free so I could call her and she said she will be once she is back in town. She said she was back so I asked if she was free tonight then later said I will call her the next day, found out she unfriended me on facboook so I asked what I did wrong via FB messenger(I could she she read it) and still no reply.

    I'm not a person who like to go out clubbing or drinking and my friends are poor so they usually can't go out either. So I tried online dating, most time it never went anywhere, usually run out of topics to talk about.

    Going to try again but then I don't know what to do. I am 24, usually most people are in relationships but then.

  2. #2


    My two cents: don't try too hard. Get to know to people, become friends, don't rush.

    Also, try to get feedback on your behaviour and be mature about it. You might not have flaws or be mean or anything, but there are some things that are still better to avoid. It's hard to put my finger on it tho, to explain it better.
    My point is not that you did something wrong at all, finding someone who clicks with you takes sooo many tries, it's part of the process, but the process also makes you grow as a person and makes you a better candidate, I think.

  3. #3


    Wow! Sounds like my life! I thought I had a sign on my forehead that said "looking for a LTR" and it scared the women away! lol I had a whole series of "strike outs" before I hit a home run. Been married over 20 years now. I was introduced to my wife by a mutual friend a common occurrence. As mentioned above, relax. Don't try so hard and make yourself available - the gym, church, the library (Is that a good author you're reading?), the grocery store (women like helpless men), etc. Good luck and keep us posted!
    Last edited by Scaramouche; 10-Aug-2015 at 04:37. Reason: more places to meet women

  4. #4


    Yeah story of my life but the one thing I'd really say is like TyphaHare is don't try too hard. And I'd also say even if you're desperate for a relationship (haha it's okay I am sometimes ) don't try to adjust yourself to make someone like you. Trust me, I'd do it all the time when I was younger to get people to like me and it never worked. If you find someone who truly likes you for who you are then that would be a much better relationship. You can't keep an act up forever.

  5. #5


    The harder a person tries, the more they drive others away. Desperation makes the other person wonder why. Like others said, don't try too hard and be yourself. You want more than just some random girl anyway; you want one who loves you as you are.

    The list of scenarios all seem doubtful to me. The first one appears to me as a polite way to both attend the formal. No real relationship formed out of it. The others were polite enough to chat for a while but did not want to go any further. Ok, so those were not correct for you. Keep hoping and looking. You want one who gets more interested in you as she learns more. Start with getting to know each other and finding some mutual interests. Then consider dinner.

    My suggestion would be more selective in who you ask. There will be fewer rejections this way. Asking for feedback on how you are doing is another good idea already proposed. Being 24 and single is fine. Finding the correct one is what matters. You are doing much better than the guy who married the crazy one at 18. His life sucks the other way. Past experience does not predict future results like zipperless said.

    I doubt you are deemed to be single. I believe you are just taking extra time to find a special lady perfect for you. She will be worth the wait. Best of luck.

  6. #6


    Similar to myself when a younger... I was hardly ocupated with rejecting my ABDL and losing posibilities to seek for GF (and a lot of things more.) When I thought I found my "blue princes," mostly it ended for something. I've two kids with two differents (today) exGFs and today I'm not for any kind of serious relation. Prefere enjoy, but later I go to my home and she to her... Guess some time I'll find. But I've to accept "stupidities" of my GF and she has to accept mines. Suicidal mission...

  7. #7


    This is the worlds' oldest subject of discussion. I feel like a father, now! All too often, I realize I'm forgetting the good things I already have in life. When I was a child and had a new toy, I'd feel contented. As an adult, I measure my successes differently. I too, ceaselessly worried about how desirable I was to females, compounded by the frustration of comparing myself to others. I still do! Rejection remains a possibility throughout life. The best advice has already been said; don't beat yourself down with defeatist thought or what you think "normalcy" is, don't try to be psychic (ask for feedback), be patient and make your date time a learning experience, and certainly, don't fabricate any part of your personality. Perfection does not exist, and never expect it. It's not fair to you, or the girl. Embrace the opportunities, dust yourself off, and keep trying to find the closest thing to your "dream girl"! ;D

  8. #8



    I know there has already been a lot of replies already, but I know what you mean. The only thing I want to add is to keep yourself open. You never really know when love is going to smack you upside the face. I just got back from a vacation in Hawaii. While I was down there, I ran into someone from where I am actually from; she was just down there for an internship. We ended up hanging out that night, and then went on two dates. We really clicked and it was amazing. I'm not sure if anything will happen, but the couple nights we had together and it was real. It wasn't just a date with a random girl. It was something actually worth it.

  9. #9


    Agree with the other posters about not trying too hard. There's a reason why people say 'Treat them mean, keep them keen'.

    Also try and meet people with the same interests or life beliefs as you (maybe through sport, music or ABDL, etc).

    You sound like a lovely guy. There's someone out for everybody so keep trying (just not too hard :P)

    Good luck. Keep us updated.

  10. #10


    Disclaimer: I'm currently single, so take with salt..

    If possible, try doing or going somewhere interesting for the date. It gives you something to talk about until you find enough common interests to keep up a discussion. Hell, it's cliche as hell, but movie then dinner is pretty effective (and in that order, as the movie gives you something to talk about during dinner if all else fails).

    And as everyone else has said, don't approach it as "trying to get a girlfriend", that drives people away and isn't really a great way to live life anyway. Look at it as going out to have a good time, and if something more comes of it, great!

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