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Thread: Should I? Shouldn't I?

  1. #1

    Default Should I? Shouldn't I?

    Right, so i have these 2 friends and i am hella close to them, they trust me unconditionally.

    For example, they were having an affair for a while before she left her ex and is now with my friend, i am the only person that knows, i have known for two years. They tell me everything, and i do them to (well to an extent), they know i have a deep secret that i haven't told them and have never pushed me to tell them. But i feel like i am being dishonest, sort of cheating the friendship.

    Only one other person knows about my little side, but these two friends also know that i am bi-curious and that is my second deepest secret lol.

    I know no one will say just tell them, but i just need an outsiders view on this?

    Cheers.
    Last edited by King of Clubs; 09-Aug-2015 at 17:40.

  2. #2

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    Step one: disabuse yourself of the idea that you are being dishonest by not revealing this. There is a difference between secrets and privacy and there's nothing wrong with keeping some things private from those who aren't involved and don't need or want to know.

    With that out of the way, you should be able to better determine if it is a benefit overall for you to share this with your friends. Ask yourself what do you stand to gain or lose by making this known? Do you think it would benefit your friends or that they would be glad to know?

    For me, it makes the most sense to keep this by default to those who I'm intimate with and that I hope might be involved in some way. That's not to say that I would never consider another scenario but it's where I start from. This is private and personal for me, so there's generally no more reason to share it than my toilet habits or how I handle my nose hair grooming. You should decide how public or private this is for you and be prepared for challenges if it is more on the public side.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Step one: disabuse yourself of the idea that you are being dishonest by not revealing this. There is a difference between secrets and privacy and there's nothing wrong with keeping some things private from those who aren't involved and don't need or want to know.

    With that out of the way, you should be able to better determine if it is a benefit overall for you to share this with your friends. Ask yourself what do you stand to gain or lose by making this known? Do you think it would benefit your friends or that they would be glad to know?

    For me, it makes the most sense to keep this by default to those who I'm intimate with and that I hope might be involved in some way. That's not to say that I would never consider another scenario but it's where I start from. This is private and personal for me, so there's generally no more reason to share it than my toilet habits or how I handle my nose hair grooming. You should decide how public or private this is for you and be prepared for challenges if it is more on the public side.
    They may be glad to know, and it may bring us closer knowing there is nothing kept secret. I guess worst case scenario i could loose 2 of my best mates, but if that were to happen i'm not sure how great a loss it would be. If my little side were to get between.

    I'm just not sure, and i see these sort of posts all the time but i have actually been contemplating telling them for a while but never built up the nerve, not even through the assistance of copious amounts of vodka. Maybe if i don't feel confident in telling them when my inhibitions are down my gut is trying to save me some grief?

  4. #4

    Default

    Only thing I have to add to Trevor's statement, is a second scenario:

    I have personally found it beneficial for my self acceptance to be open about my Adult Baby lifestyle with my friends. It makes it so I can wear 24/7 (also part of my self acceptance, and just plain fun) without the fear of being caught by my friends, or them wondering why I have a backpack with me (diaper bag). It means I can be more comfortable, as well, it means that people who are close to me can get me more meaningful gifts for my birthday (not a big deal though), like stuffed animals and such. Yeah, they know me better than ever before, but it doesn't mean that we weren't close already, and my relationship with them isn't really that different since I told them, I just get to be a little more comfortable in my habits, even though they aren't really a part of it anyway. I guess you can say, I'm pro-openness, but only because my Ab/Dl life is a lifestyle, it is more than a fetish or a potty option, for me.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, telling most people who are younger and capable of liberal thinking, really don't care much when they find out, it isn't that big of a deal in all reality. So, either way, just find out the benefits, and if there is a touch of doubt that they might be too old school or something, then choose carefully about sharing.

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