Hello folks! I wanted to start off by thanking y'all for the thoughtful threads I've been reading as a longtime lurker.
I'm in a situation that is probably familiar to some of you. Presuming most of you haven't read my intro, here's my deal: I wore goodnites well into grade school and vividly remember wearing them. Eventually I stopped wetting but my parents didn't throw out the bags. Within a year after stopping I was sneaking into the closet at night to put one on. At that time I had no idea why I liked it but eventually my parents noticed and got rid of the lot. I couldn't wear again until I "rediscovered" my fetish in college and realized what it was.
(Adult content warning, my apologies if this is out of bounds)
Prior to the point where I began buying diapers for myself, I'd had two healthy heterosexual relationships which included non-penatrative sexual activity. My diaper buying began after a bout with mono which knocked me down for almost a month. As a consequence of being "out of the game" and with my previous relationship broken up, I had no issues for a while.
Then, during my college's spring fling I had an abortive hookup with a long time crush (neither of us was drunk don't worry). I had been wearing diapers for several weeks during the nighttime before this event. Lying in bed with the two of us near naked, I found I was completely unable to gain and maintain an erection even though I felt totally aroused. We decided to break off our little escapade becuase she said she had nothing to "work with". It was one of the worst experiences of my life because of how it dug into my sense of being a man.
I have two questions. One, is it possible that this was caused by a permanant shift in sexual conditioning by the diapers? Two, am I not so far down the rabbit hole that I could regain my heteronormative sexual function? How? Would I need to totally give up diapers to do so?
Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts. I realize this is heavy stuff but I've seen the kind of maturity on this forum before.