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Thread: At what point to tell the gf?

  1. #1

    Default At what point to tell the gf?

    I've been dating this girl for just over a month now. We are super honest about our past and even our insecurities. Seems almost anything can be said and we are very understanding. I could spend the rest of my life with her. I don't even need to have her participate in my DL side, I just don't want to hide something from her. At what point do you think would be open to discussing this stuff?

  2. #2


    One month....well that certainly would be one way to test the strength of the relationship. Honestly, unless you're presenting her a kind of ultimatum I'd be holding off for now. Get to know her a bit more first.

  3. #3


    Indeed. Was thinking at least 6 months, I think I'd rather some other situations test the strength of the relationship before this situation. I know waiting too long may also blow up if it is seen as not trusting the other person. Though with the oddness of this, it could be justified.

  4. #4


    When I was dating it was usually in the 1-3 months range.

    Mind you there was one time I told a girl and the next day she broke up with me. You need to be honest but it can lead to rejection. If you want to share then you should. Just be prepared for the worst. For me that rejection lead to a massive purge of all my stuff and some depression. don't do what I did, that isn't healthy.

    Best of luck to you brother.

  5. #5


    I have only told one partner, who is my current girlfriend. I told her early on in our sexual relationship that I had a couple of particular kinks that I wasn't quite ready to share, but they didn't involve pain, fear, or danger. She took that pretty well, as we were both shy about that stuff at the beginning. This tactic might help; it establishes trust without oversharing and leaves a really convenient and easy lead-in when/if you decide to come out. "Hey honey, remember those kinks I haven't told you about yet?"

    In my case, my girlfriend took the DL revelation so well that she now wears with me and we have gone diaper shopping together. I also told her about my "little" side... she's not nearly as excited about that, and that's okay by me.

    Best of luck, homie.

  6. #6


    Like the others have said, I'd give it 3-6 months and just get to know her better first. When you do get to the point of telling her, hope that she can understand but don't push her into what your into.

  7. #7


    I've always told early on but I've felt comfortable enough to do so really suppose it depends on how you think the person you are telling will take it if you think she will be cool about it now tell her if you think she won't then don't tell her

  8. #8


    I dated mine for about 5-6 months before I told her. The way I see it, find a time when neither of you are stressed about anything such as school, work, etc., that way you both have a clear mind and can talk about it.

  9. #9


    I'm going to go against the tide here.... I'm going to say there is no point in really waiting. This is a part of you and that being said if your significant other truly cares and accepts you for who you are then it's better to be honest up front. This is really a test of character!

    I told my wife the first month ( when we first started dating) about my bed wetting and history involved with it. She was relieved cause she thought it was something serious (i said it was lol and to me it is), she asked a few questions and said that she loved me and it didn't change her feelings for me one bit.

    Find the person who's right for you. If this ends up ending the relationship then it was not meant to be and you probably saved yourself a rough time later on...

    Just my 2 cents

  10. #10


    I told my girlfriend in the first month of our being in a relationship. In fact, I told her less than two weeks after we added the titles. Something you need to remember is that telling her really isn't about you, it's about her. You like diapers, you wear diapers, there's no surprise or anything there for you. But she doesn't know and this is going to be all new for her and it might be a lot for her to take in.

    I told my girlfriend early on because I thought it was only fair to her that she knew in enough time to decide if my wearing diapers would alter how she felt about being with me. I didn't want to wait six months only for her to hate it, me not to want to give it up, and now we're in a "me or the diapers" situation. If it was that important to me and I couldn't live without it, I wanted to know how she felt before I developed feelings. And I wanted her to have the same courtesy.

    If she really likes you, she'll stay. Hopefully she's accepting and will at the least put up with it. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll want to get involved. But there's always the possibility she's not going to be comfortable with it and it's better to find that out sooner than later.

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