telling a friend

littleabjames · Jul 18, 2015

hello i know other people have asked this but i am going to try and tell my best friend that I am into diapers and I was wondering how to tell him. Please don't tell me if he is a true friend he will understand because it is easy to say that but it is not always true.

Milko · Jul 18, 2015

Not too sure what you're asking. Just be honest about it. I told my sister when I was 15 and she was completely fine with it. But yeah, it is easy to say they'd be okay if they are a true friend, but the reality is it can be very confronting.

I've seen lots of people who claim to be open minded completely reject and ridicule the subject. Having said that though, if you're not lying about your age

then I guess you don't need to worry as much about being rejected as if you were younger. Even though it can hurt, if you're still a teenager then it can be much worse with school etc.

I'd say go for it. Give them time if they don't seem okay with it at first. Some people just need time to get their head around it. Oh and I'd explain it to them as best as you can. If they go researching about it on the internet.. well, first impressions last and they're isn't always the most subjective information on the internet.

SuckyDucky · Jul 18, 2015

Personally I've only told my husband and my best guy friend and those are the only people I plan on telling. For me it went beyond well and both of them said "That's it?"

If I was younger or even a teen I would not make a point of telling anyone for fear of having a falling out with that person and then my very personal secret being let out to others.

Good luck in whatever choice you make. If you decide to share then just come out and say it, no point in beating around the bush.

babyboyd · Jul 18, 2015

my advice would be ask yourself why do you want to tell them ? and do they truly need to know ? I know how freeing it is to share and be accepted by people but what does it gain that's what you need to ask yourself . ive told several people cause at the time it seemed like a good idea and will admit not had terrible reactions other then ok that's no big deal but I don't want anything to do with it, and a few people that I don't talk to anymore and kinda think that's kinda why , so ask yourself why do you need to ?

dogboy · Jul 18, 2015

I told my best friend from college and he was fine with it, but we were in a relationship and I think we still love one another. babyboyd is absolutely correct in that there ought to be a reason for telling someone. In my case, I was talking to my friend via e-mail and had mentioned that I was on a blog site. He asked which one, and I was honest with him, but I knew he would be accepting considering all the "things" we had done together. So, you really have to have a good understanding of your friend and have some sort of legitimate reason for sharing something this personal.

BlueSky · Jul 19, 2015

I told my closest friend before I found ADISC because I need someone I knew to talk to. Lucky for me he is super supportive and I think we are even closer friends now. But like everyone else has been saying, have a reason for doing it and don't just tell anyone.
In terms of how to tell somebody, i sort of just told him that I loved wearing diapers. After his first bit of surprise I explained it a little more and gave him some webpages so he could look into it himself.
I would say not everybody's reaction would be so supportive so you will really have to decide based on their personality

Milko · Jul 19, 2015

Note said:
I have said this once before and I'll say it again, unless you have something to gain from "coming out", don't tell anyone, not anyone at all. The very nature of ABDL is a private thing in and of itself and concerns no one else but already like minded people or those it needs to apply to. Unless you are in a situation like, lets say, a marriage, or that it should be brought up with a therapist because it's affecting your quality of life, then there would be reason to come out.

So answer this: how will telling your friend that you are an ABDL work to your benefit and enrich your quality of life? Is it not enough that you are already part of a community that share common interests, hold meets / conventions, etc? Can you not live this out in a private manner? What sort of reactions do you expect to get from telling those closest to you? Do they need to know? Those are the sort of question you need to be asking yourself. If you're ultimate goal is so you are able to prance around in nothing but a diaper and tutu in front of your friend, then it might cause nothing but friction because ABDL is not his thing. But if you must say something, read this. And good luck!

Note, there is a great deal to gain from coming out to people. Online support communities are all well and good, but they can only help to disperse loneliness a certain amount. Saying

"If you're ultimate goal is so you are able to prance around in nothing but a diaper and tutu in front of your friend, then it might cause nothing but friction because ABDL is not his thing. "

is just plain stupid. Having someone in real life around you who knows about your ab/dl side is great and can help psychologically a great deal. I told my sister because I hated having this side of me that was causing me endless guilt and shame and I felt like I had no-one to turn to about it. She was great and we could talk openly about it. She helped me to not feel ashamed of myself. She made me not feel so guilty. She made me feel like a normal peoson again rather than a disgusting freak and an outcast.

If you honestly think there's nothing to be gained by coming out to people then fine. But I suggest you might at least try it. Who knows? You might be surprised.

Milko · Jul 19, 2015

Note said:
Then take it up with a therapist. ABDL is not like being gay, lesbian, bi or trans, it is not the type of thing that you need to come out about. I have dealt with this for over 20 years myself and know how depressing it can be to live with and try to live out at times, it sucks, I know. But at the end of the day ABDL is nothing more than a kink/fetish/hobby and is seen as such by most on a large scale, even if there are those that feel it is an ingrained part of their personality, like myself.

Do you really think that anyone outside of a relationship or your therapist needs to know about such a thing? I don't want to know about others chains and whips fetishes so why would anyone want to know about my ABDL? Because as it stands that is what ABDL is comparable to.

See, issues like this are the very reason why ADISC exists in the first place, so you can discuss this culture and issues with like minded people in a judge free environment without the fear of discrimination or ridicule.

In other words, ABDL is seen as a bedroom act and should be kept that way.

It will always be seen that way if people are always hiding it and concealing it like evidence in a crime. It is comparable to being gay etc in that if people aren't exposed to it and made to understand what it is really about, then tolerance and understanding will never be gained.